Out of Focus

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I sat down this evening to draft a blog and my wife, who requests that I write something every day, said: "Write a good one today."

I guess that I've been lacking a bit - I didn't think it was going so bad. She also supposed that I had to be running out of things to say. Like I told her, that'll never happen. So, with no pressure on me whatsoever...

My publisher requested photos of me for the promotion of House of Miracles. There is a big celebration of the people from the book to be held at the hospital on September 30th - I need to put my face on a few press releases and it reminded me of Springsteen and his cover for Born in the USA - he said that he stood with his back to the camera because his ass looked better than his face. I can't even do that - my ass is too big.

Yet it is often shocking to see myself in photos - I don't feel bald - but I'm told that I am. I don't feel old, but when I glance at the face staring back, I'm reminded that I need a stunt double. So, what is there to do? Hire someone as a stand in - like that Chinese girl who subbed for the Olympic singer?

I have a good buddy who learned photo shop and pulled a few of my face pictures off the Internet - he then proceeded to place my head in all different sort of poses. Here's Cliff with his prom date, here's Cliff in a bodybuilders pose, and most of all here's fat Cliff with an ugly date.

I can remember when it all changed for me - I graduated high school at 6' - 135 pounds - I came home from Freshman year at 6' - 196 pounds. My mother asked me who I was and why I ate her son.

Yet, I'm not the only one changing - every once in awhile I'll run into an old friend and I'll think - "Holy shit - what happened to you?" What I'll say, instead is - "You haven't changed at all."

So, I'm getting poised to pose for a few new photographs. The brilliant photographer at the hospital has a program where he can fill in bald spots, darken up my face, air brush away any lines or wrinkles and basically make me look like I did, say seven or eight years ago.

Perhaps I'll see if he can make my ass fit on the cover of the press release.

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