All of It

I was a tad apprehensive about going to play golf on Sunday morning.

These past two weeks have been insane because the other shoe wasn’t about to drop…

… rather, every shoe in the world was raining down on my head.

As I’ve aged I’ve figured out what to do when I feel stressed and anxious…

…take a deep breath!

The weather was perfect. Beautiful blue sky. We met on the first tee and had a few minutes to chat before I set the tee in the ground.

I felt it all rolling off my shoulders, but I wondered:

Would I yank it left as I tend to do when I’m over anxious?

My club made contact and the ball soared. I caught the flight of the ball and it seemed as though my entire body exhaled, as it settled in the center of the fairway, a long ways from the tee box.

Three straight fist-bumps from my playing partners who knew what I’d lived through.

A couple of holes later, I did a panoramic turn around the course - I saw my friends gathered on the green, I watched the flight of a bird as it moved across the perfect sky, and I thought of a Mellencamp song.

“I’ve enjoyed every day of the full catastrophe of life,” is the chorus.

And golf does that too.

I hit a lousy drive on a par three and was agitated. I had a little meeting with myself.

“Two shots to make it right,” I thought.

And I put the chip close enough to give myself a chance to par the hole.

There were so many damn moments out there, and as the minutes ticked by, I kept thinking:

“Man, I’m having a great time.”

Didn’t have many other deep thoughts out there after that. The club felt good in my hands. The sunlight on my face was perfect. 

I wiped the sweat from my brow.

Laughed at the birdie and par putts that pulled up a quarter of an inch short a half a dozen times, and when I made it through the front door of the house, the other shoe did drop as Ollie bounded down the stairs and the football landed at my feet.

“Come on, dude,” he communicated. “Let’s go play.”

I threw pass after pass after pass after pass.

Life can be a catastrophe from time to time.

From shot to shot.

From day to day.

These past two weeks, I’ve enjoyed it all.

And that may sound crazy given all that’s happened, but watching that first ball, rise and soar, and land and bounce…

…informed me that sometimes you just gotta’ hold on for dear life…

…because it’ll come back around again.

Eventually.