“Can I Help You?”

Customer service is an absolute disaster.

Started my day with an email from a client.

“What’s wrong with your email? I’m trying to send you the schedule.”

I panicked.

Then a text:

“Dude! Your emails are bouncing back.”

It was pretty early. My IT department (Kathy) wasn’t awake yet.

So, I bit the bullet and called my internet provider, Spectrum.

I got the automated voice and did that dance, all the whole screaming:

“REPRESENTATIVE!”

Before I was put on hold they told me that following the call I had the opportunity to fill out a survey to explain how wonderful they were.

Then I was put on hold with a wait time of 35 to 47 minutes. Or I could get a call back. I voted for the call back.

It came about 49 minutes later.

Automated voice with an instruction to hit one if I wanted English. I hit one.

Nothing happened.

Then the voice asked me to hit one if I wanted English.

I hit one.

“We could not hear your response. We will try again later.”

The voice was gone.

20 minutes later they called again and this time when I hit one it went through. I got a rep.

Explained the problem.

“What device are you using?”

“I’m not using a device. People are sending me emails that I’m not getting.”

“Is it an Apple product?”

“Is what?”

Ten minutes more of that idiotic banter, she told me to call Apple.

I called Apple.

Half an hour on hold. Another opportunity to fill out a survey after the call to voice my satisfaction.

Know what Apple told me?

To call Spectrum back because they were full of shit.

I did.

Another hour.

I got absolutely nowhere.

Thankfully, the IT Department was open.

Poor Kathy put in more than two hours.

The email finally worked.

Eight hours after the initial phone call. Someone on their end had inadvertently canceled my account.

“Is there anything else we can help you with today?”

Kathy hung up before he got ‘today’ out of his mouth.

“That was fun,” she said.

“What a world.”