I Hate February

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 Here we go!

The shortest damn month and the one I can’t stand.

What happens in February?

1). That freaking groundhog comes out and tells us how much longer we’re gonna freeze our asses off. 

I don’t know if he’s ever right or wrong.

I just know that I’m freezing my ass off.

2). Tommy dances in the confetti

The Super Bowl is usually in February and leading up to it all I hear is “I hate Tom Brady.”

If he wins - which has happened 6 times - the win is minimized in the eyes of those who hate him.

If his team loses - which has happened thrice - his haters chant, “Tom Brady sucks.”

I just want to win the big square.

3). Daytona 500

My siblings and the Chuckster love this race. I watch about 30 laps.

And usually pick the winner to win the bet.

4). It’s cold

I recall a February a few years back where it never got over 10 degrees. 

Stubbornly I got up and went to the jobs to show the crews how tough their safety guy is.

Dumb.

5). Lake Snow Events

They call them: EVENTS!

I just remember driving down the Thruway - zero visibility. Hoping I was on the road. Praying the guy behind me was going as slow as I was.

Crying out:

“I don’t want to die in a blizzard!”

Yeah.

February.

Sucks.

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