Buried in Manure

There's a horrible story making the rounds in the Buffalo area this week.

A local woman allegedly smashed her long-time husband over the head with a blunt instrument, loaded him onto a skid steer, took him to a corner of the farm and buried him in three feet of manure!

Then she joined in the search for the poor guy, but apparently 'fessed up when the cops put the heat on.

Why did the story horrify me so?

Certainly not because I can see my beautiful wife getting rid of me in such fashion.

(We don't own a skid steer or a manure pile).

But.

Man!

You live your whole life, work hard, help raise the kids, get up each day and go to work, battle injuries, illnesses, the sadness that living brings...

...and you end up buried under a pile of manure on your own freaking property!

What a horrible end to a marriage.

And unfortunately we watch a whole lot of true crime drama around our house.

Let me tell you the plot of all these shows:

1). Husband or Wife is on the screen talking about their dead spouse. There are tears at the wedding day is discussed.

2). Husband or Wife is on the screen talking about how the marriage was perfect.

3). Cop is on the screen saying that husband or wife was having a torrid affair.

4). Husband or wife is back saying they shouldn't have cheated, but that doesn't make them a murderer.

5). Cop is back talking about the $3 million life insurance policy that had just been issued for dead spouse.

6). Husband or wife is on saying that money wasn't a motive and that the new younger love was not important.

7). Cop is back telling about the blunt instrument found in the possession of living husband or wife.

At this point in the program my beautiful wife will look at me and say:

Do you think he/she did it?

I'll answer by saying:

We need to get you some life insurance.

The drama will play out and the husband or wife will be carted off in handcuffs, screaming about how they were being railroaded.

Cut to fade.

Sad stories.

One after another.

Why didn't they just get a divorce? my wife will ask.

Thought they'd get away with it, I say. Wanted to keep the money.

L-O-V-E in the U-S-A!

Buried in a pile of manure.

Holy sh*t.

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