Pick On Someone Else

-

Everyone goes through it.

A week in the barrel.

Sometimes it seems as if God is up there saying, "I'm gonna' see how much this dork can handle."

The flu is not a big deal.

I've grown up a little and I whine about it now only because I want to aggravate people about whining about it.

I got that on Monday.

I was still feeling lousy on Thursday, but the work was already scheduled out. I had planned a busy day.

To Jamestown for a couple of meetings and then a quick stop home to write reports and pick up my bag for a trip to Syracuse.

"Tough trip in this weather," the all-knowing Pops texted me.

He jinxed me.

The bastard jinxed me!

I visited the sites as the mind-numbing cold kicked in.

I got back into my car and answered my ringing cell phone. I was blowing into my hands as I tried to answer. It was someone sitting in an office somewhere, probably too warm from the little portable heater under her desk.

"Wow! You sound awful."

"What do you want?" I asked.

The topic of conversation went way over my head...something about a lawyer...an accident...all about 5 years ago.

"Send me an email," I said. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm freezing!"

The office girl laughed.

I threw the phone down and made my way home.

I heard the tire pop.

Actually, I saw it.

A little poof of air.

"What the hell was that?" I asked.

I was going 65 at the time.

I knew what the hell was that about two seconds later.

And this is where the fun begins.

Because I am mechanically-illiterate.

I knew I had as much chance of changing the tire in a snowstorm, on the Thruway, as I did in taking over Jeter's shortstop position next year.

No chance.

I didn't even try.

I pulled to the side of the road and waited.

Not sure what I was waiting for, but I looked to the roof of the car.

"Really? You're gonna' keep kicking the crap out of me this week? Are you bored?"

A county plow truck moved to the side of the road.

The driver got out.

"You have a spare?"

"Perhaps."

"Is it in the back or under the car?"

"No idea."

He was such a nice guy.

A hardworking, not-mechanically-illiterate, good guy.

He looked under the car.

"You have a spare down there."

I'm not sure if he was waiting for me to retrieve it, but that wasn't happening.

"Hang tight," he said.

He disappeared into his truck. I went back to reading the sports page. He came back a moment later.

"I can send someone here to change the tire. It'll cost you about $75 or you can change it yourself. You'll get 50 miles out of that donut."

"Not if I put it on I won't," I said.

He laughed.

A little while later another not-mechanically-illiterate guy showed up.

I drove home on the donut.

I bought a new tire.

On to Syracuse!

(Thanks for the jinx, Pops).

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Suits

-
Like a lot of other people we got pulled into the series, ‘Suits’ on Netflix. I’ve never had much fun hanging around lawyers who have questioned me as a construction safety officer. I once testified in a case where the opposing lawyer started questioning me by going through my educational background. “So,” he said, racing to a crescendo, “You graduated from college with a degree in Communications-Journalism and suddenly, 30 years later, you’re a ‘safety expert.’” He actually made the quotation marks with his fingers. I just looked at him. “How does that happen?” He bellowed, sure that he was going to discredit me. “Well,” I said. “I knew I was overqualified to become a lawyer.” The courtroom erupted in laughter. Even the judge chuckled. The rest of his questions landed flat. So, I wasn’t all that keen on a show about lawyers, but ‘Suits’ is great. Meghan Markle became a princess because of the show, and she is very good in it (and a beautiful woman). Yet, there is so much more. The wri
Read more

My Buddy, Dave

-
Way back in 1997, I started working with a steel erection company out of Syracuse. I was coming straight from a long stint with a steel erector here in Buffalo so I knew my stuff when it came to steel erection safety rules. On day one, I met with the safety director and he was just getting started as a safety guy, but man, he certainly cared about the guys he worked with. Dave was a good man from the start. He’d say things like: “You’re so full of beans.” Just a down to earth, hardworking guy who became a fast friend. We drove all around New York State setting up jobs. I always let Dave drive so that I could rest. One fine day, way up North of Syracuse, we passed a state trooper.  I glanced at the speedometer. “You’re screwed,” I said, and seconds later, the lights came on. Dave was beside himself.  The cop stopped by the window, grabbed the license and registration and headed back to his vehicle. “Here’s the thing,” I said. “You’re pissed, but you’re such a good guy that I bet you tha
Read more

Mom & Ollie

-
Image
 Ollie Stadium is a mess. The heavy rains rendered the backyard a mud pit and even though we threw in the side yard, the Big O was looking for more, and we were both covered in mud. I had to take some steam out of him somehow so I suggested we go visit Grandma. Ollie hates the car, but he laid quietly as we made the trip. We even brought the football because there is plenty of room to play at Grandma’s. Mom opened the door and started laughing. I thought about the love she had for every single dog we ever had. Oliver was quick to give my Mom a kiss, and then he stood beside her. The love between Mom and Dogs is a mutual bond. Through the years, Mom would make breakfast for the dogs.  Fried eggs, toast, bacon… She would wrap Christmas gifts for them. “To Jeter, Love Santa,” she would write on the cards. They played with the big chicken that made a lot of noise. Mom tossed the football and Ollie brought it back to her. As the visit drew to a close I headed for the door.  “C’mon, Oliver,”
Read more