Thoughts of a Common Man

There are people who just storm into your life. And stay there forever. Ward Weiser was my father's friend... ...first. He was also my friend, John's friend, Jim's friend, Jeff's friend, Carrie's friend and Corinne's friend. He was a friend to all of our spouses and our children. Ward, who spent years as a Judge, was larger than life to all of us. The photo of Ward and Jim tells the story. You can see how much those two men enjoy standing next to one another. When Jim called to tell me that Ward had passed away I just kept thinking: "Ward is too important to die!" There were a lot of people who loved being in Ward's presence. Little secret: Ward called me: 'Clissy.' He always did...from the time I was a toddler. He once told me that he had tried to say 'Cliffy' and it came out 'Clissy' and he just went with it. Ward was the only guy who ever called me 'Clissy'! I loved when he did. Th...

It all started with a text from my college buddy, Rosie. He asked a question about a long ago event and copied two others: Gag and Fluffy. So, the four of us went through our memories. Remember when... Well, coincidentally the Buffalo News ran a story about a college kid, from Buffalo, who died during a fraternity initiation at West Virginia University. My heart goes out to the family of that kid. His B.A.C. was .0493, or there about. The poor child never had a chance. In the backdrop of the texts that were going back and forth I thought about my own children. I considered all the really, really, really stupid things that we did. I was blessed to have great friends. We watched out for one another. We did stupid things, but we made sure that we were around the room by the end of the night. Could there have been a horrific ending for one of us? Of course. We saw some really rough things in college. Girls that had passed out cold. Kids that were so drun...

Another easy one. In fact, if Silver is guilty of what they are saying that he's guilty of then this should be a lifetime achievement award. Of course, Sheldon Silver is allegedly a crooked politician. Go figure. The story goes that Silver received millions of dollars for absolutely nothing. He abused his power to do favors in order to receive a healthy paycheck. Sheldon Silver is the D.B. of the Week and has probably been the D.B. of a whole lot of weeks. And this is where I go off on a bit of a rant. There aren't many people I despise more than those who steal money from the hard-working people of this or any other state. I am also quite annoyed that any discussion of politicians ends with one or the other party saying: They're all a bunch of crooks. Why do we accept that as just the way it goes? How in the hell is Silver still sitting in the assembly as he answers the questions about these charges. Yeah. Yeah. I get innocent until proven guilt...

January 27th is a lousy day in Fazzolari history. It was six years ago when Jeff was stricken and all through the day yesterday I thought of how many days have passed since...the pain just doesn't go away. Bruce let me consider hope. "Across The Border" - Bruce Springsteen - Ghost of Tom Joad Tonight my bag is packed Tomorrow I'll walk these tracks That will lead me across the border Tomorrow my love and I Will sleep 'neath auburn skies Somewhere across the border We'll leave behind my dear The pain and sadness we found here And we'll drink from the Bravo's muddy water Where the sky grows gray and wide We'll meet on the other side There across the border For you I'll build a house High upon a grassy hill Somewhere across the border Where pain and memory Pain and memory have been stilled There across the border And sweet blossoms fill the air Pastures of gold and green Roll down into cool clear waters And in you...

Social media is really nasty sometimes. If you follow a celebrity on Twitter do yourself a favor and look at one of their posts. There will be ten people praising them. And probably twenty people hating on them. I don't know how you could get through the day if you read all the negative responses. And some people don't give a crap about how low they go. Take for instance the story of Hugh Greenwood, a basketball star for UNLV. Greenwood's Mom has breast cancer and she has really suffered. Greenwood has taken up the cause, doing his best to raise money. Doing what he can to feel like he's helping out his mother in a situation that he just can't control. This is what Greenwood read on a post that he made regarding his mother's fight: "The only line being crossed is the line between life and death that your Mom is on." Any decent human being who reads that is appalled, right? Any human being who writes that shouldn't be allowed t...

When I was on the road I'd call home to just hear the voices of my family and find that they were all right. Sam was usually the one who I had to chase down because no one answers the house phone. Me: What're you doing? Sam: Chillin' And when I walked in the house they were all a bit too excited to show me how clean the house was. Sort of like kids who clean everything up the day when their parents get home from a trip. So. We kicked the discussion off as I prepared Sunday dinner. "How'd you guys eat while I was gone?" "We managed." I had counted the take-out boxes in the fridge. I hate boxes in the fridge. Why are we cooling off huge boxes for a few leftover fries that won't be eaten? "Was anything cooked when I was gone?" "Chicken fries," Sam said. Of course, the clutter was all gone. "Was the house a mess most of the time?" "Of course not," my beautiful wife said. Yet Sa...

Life is weird. Leading up to the Vegas trip I had talked myself into really craving the warm weather. When I stepped off the plane late last night and walked outside the freezing air hit me in the face and I thought: Thank God, I'm home. Now don't get me wrong...I enjoyed going outside in shorts and a tee-shirt. I enjoyed being around the excitement and craziness that is Vegas. I really enjoyed making a speech in front of a packed room and having them all leave that room talking about me. As I told one of my co-worker buddies from Syracuse: "I didn't come here to make the second best speech." I had jet-lag really bad. I woke at about 2:30 for the 7 a.m. conference and then stayed out until 1:00 the following morning. I'm 50! I can't do that anymore!! There were steaks. Three of them. One better than the last. And then there was the frozen air hitting me in the face. A lot of the people I met said: "You're fro...

Some predictions about next week's game: 1). Marshawn Lynch will continue to be an a$%^ole. Lynch is an unbelievable force. When he was here in Buffalo he got into beast-mode and he ran down people - on and off the field. He's been arrested for gun charges. There are suspicions that he is a gang-member. He won't talk to the media. He ravaged the neighborhood he lived in when he was here in Buffalo. Western New York wanted him gone. Then he went to Seattle and grabbed national attention. They won the Super Bowl and he was great...on the field. Off the field he continued to act like a jerk, but a funny thing happened... Nation-wide people think he's cute. He makes a mockery of the media. He grabs his crotch when he scores. I'm guessing that he'll do that next week too. 2). New England won't say anything either. Tom Brady talks about his teammates and is gracious. People hate him. Bill Belicheck speaks highly of his opponent, in mono...

Sometimes You're unsatisfied with your life... ...while others dream of living your life. A child on a farm sees a plane fly overhead and dreams of flying... ...while a pilot on the plane sees the farmhouse below and dreams of returning home. That's Life! Enjoy Yours!! If riches were the way to happiness then the rich would dancing in the streets... ...but only poor kids do that. If power ensures security then officials should walk unguarded... ...But those who live simply... ...sleep soundly. If beauty and fame bring ideal relationships then celebrities should have the best marriages. Live simply. Walk humbly. Love Genuinely. It'll come back to you.

We watch a lot of college basketball in my house. My son Sam loves the Villanova Wildcats. So much so that we have to watch nearly every game. I don't know how, but he finds the games on channels that can only be played on the big television. "You're going to bed at nine," he'll announce to me. "The Wildcats are on." Yet I use television as background noise, really. I'll go to social media, read newspapers, send emails...all the while listening to the hoops and hollers of a crazed fan. I find myself rooting for Villanova, of course...but I also hear all the announcers and know the standings. One such announcer...Greg Anthony...who used to do the games for CBS...is now the D.B. of the Week. Anthony lost his job this week. You know why? Not because he wasn't a good announcer... Not because he didn't know the game... Not because he wanted more money... Nope. He lost his job (which I'm sure paid him millions) beca...

Despite the fact that I complained about the sport all year - and it is a pretty lousy sport, overall - we did watch the football championship games over the weekend. "Who you got?" Sam asked late last week. "I want the Packers and Patriots," I said. "Ugh," he said. "I can't believe you like the Patriots." We got into the discussion about discipline, organization and not tooting one's own horn. (Now a lot of people hate Tom Brady and his hoodie wearing coach in these parts, but they are not loudmouths about their work). I admit they can rub people the wrong way...but have you ever heard them brag? Anywhoha... We watched the games together. Early on we were thrilled with the Packers winning because we are not a fan of the Seahawks running back, Marshawn Lynch, or Richard Sherman or even Doug Baldwin...or Pete Carroll... ...they are loud, crotch-grabbing, and full of the "everyone doubted us" hate talk that see...

Sam's basketball game was a tad lopsided this weekend. I think the final score was 85-37, or something awful like that. Well, that was a virtual nail-biter compared to the 161-2 final score in a girls basketball game in Southern California. Why? Why continue to play the game? And of course there will be people out there who will stand on the other side of it and say that the coach of the great team has no responsibility to pretend not to try. "We're making babies out of all our kids!" "They shouldn't just get a ribbon for participating!" I hear ya', but this is a different story. I played in a game that was out of hand in the same manner that Sam's was. I distinctly remember how I felt as that game played out. The clock didn't seem to be moving at all. They'd score and laugh. We'd shoot and miss. Up and down the floor, over and over and over. The thought I had in my head was the same question I asked ear...

I actually call the first designated Martin Luther King Jr. Day. There were a lot of people opposed to the declaration of the day. There are still people who make jokes, comments and asinine suggestions. They should read these words and think about them as they pertain to what MLK was trying to do. "We cannot walk alone. And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn back... I say to you today... I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character... One day, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls... ...as sisters and brothers. I have a dream Today. This is our hope. Work together. Let freedom ring." I don't quite think we're there yet. Do you? Fifty years later we couldn't accomplish what sensible people know ...

Just the title makes you read the story with a horrible sense of knowing what is going to eventually happen. And that led to the suspense of it all. Who is Robert Peace? No one, really. Just a black kid from a tough part of Newark, New Jersey. I won't spoil much, because the book is worth looking for, reading and thinking about. Yet Peace's Dad gets in trouble and is sent to prison for what amounts to the rest of a sad life. Peace's Mom works so hard every day so that her son can live a better life. And Robert Peace worked hard... ...real hard. Academic honors. Everyone loved him. He worked even harder. And as he achieves there's a sense that he will rise above, but a dread in knowing that his past might come calling to claim him. (Damn. I should have written the back copy for the book!). Yet, what happened to me as I read it was that I struggled hard with the nature versus nurture debate. Was Peace's life doomed from the start becaus...

I clearly recall the day this record came out. I was drinking beer with all of my brothers, my buddies Scott Weiser, Chris Heinold and John Cataldo. I had listened to the record over and over and over again. John said: "You seem quiet tonight." I remember telling him that the words to Check It Out just sort of blew my mind. Cut to last year. I watched Mellencamp perform the song live. He made it so real again. What have we learned? All this time on the planet. This all that we've learned about living. It's still mind-boggling. Check It Out - John Mellencamp Million young poets Screamin' out their words To a world full of people Just livin' to be heard Future generations Ridin' on the highways that we built I hope, that they have better understanding Check it out Goin' to work on Monday Check it out Got yourself a family Check it out All utility bills have been paid You can't tell your best buddy That you lo...

It's taken me quite awhile to comment on the massacre - credited to Al Qaeda - in Paris. Partly because violence of that order is too upsetting to really consider, but also because it's so ridiculous on so many levels. The Pakistani Muslims have issued a new death sentence for the staff after the new edition of the magazine was released just a week after the mass murder. Here's why it's all so ridiculous. 1). Violence in the name of religion always has been and always will be a concept that is lost on me. I gain spirituality from my religion. It's supposed to be about love, right, stupid heads? 2). And I say 'stupid heads' because if it weren't so tragic it would seem to be an argument that third-graders might have. I know that Mohammad is not supposed to be shown in photos because he's a prophet and not a god. Allah is the only god. Mohammad being bandied about in photos is akin to taking some of the shine off of Allah, so the photos of th...

There were people out there who once adopted George Zimmerman as the face of all that was special in being able to defend oneself. You remember George, right? He's the guy who shot and killed Trayvon Martin down in Florida. He was acquitted in the death because of a 'Stand Your Ground' hole in the law that goes something like this: 1). You attack someone, for nothing other than your own paranoia. 2). They fight back...without a weapon. 3). You're losing the fight. 4). You can to shoot them with your weapon. D.B. of the week? Well, the Trayvon Martin 'thing' was a long time ago. Zimmerman couldn't possibly be honored for being a D.B. based on something that happened that long ago, right? Well, with Zimmerman it's only a matter of time. He was arrested again. This time for allegedly beating a girl. He's been accused of this offense before. In fact, it seems we read an update on him every 3-6 months. He gives D.B. a bad n...

There. I said it. What is happening around here is that there's nothing on television anymore. Reality shows suck. I watch exactly one sit-com... Modern Family . There aren't any other drama shows that interest me. We watched Homeland complete. So despite the fact that I'd much rather read my way through the evening after freezing my ass off outside each day, I look for something to watch with my beautiful wife as she recounts every second of her busy day. Reruns of Law & Order are always on. There are different versions of the program. Some of them are passable. The one with Olivia, Elliot, Donald, BD Wong and Ice-T.... is horrendous. Here's a typical script: 1). Rape and murder. 2). They have absolutely nothing to go on. 3). Olivia remembers a time when it happened to her. 4). Elliot tells Olivia to suck it up. 5). Munch saunters by telling them that he found a needle in a haystack. 6). Ice-T confronts the suspect and calls ...

The story broke on Sunday morning. The Buffalo Bills have a new head coach: Rex Ryan. Ryan was just the coach of the New York Jets. He got fired after a couple of horrendous years. Yet, to be fair, his first couple of years were really successful. Ryan used to be really fat. He was involved in a weird story about being a foot fetish guy. (I'm not making this shit up). He supposedly has a tattoo of his former quarterback. He's loud, boisterous and his teams play pretty well against the Patriots (even though their record in such games is 8-23). It's all about perception, folks. So what do I think? Actually, I think it's a great hire... ...for me! I'm going to be able to hand Rex the D.B. of the week award quite a few times, I'm thinking. He's gonna' be vocal. He'll say some really stupid things. Perhaps he didn't think it all the way through though... ...we're a little short on open-toe shoes in this weather. ...

The texts started coming to me on Saturday. I was following the progress of my buddy, Mike Gaglianone, as he ran in the Disney Races over the weekend to raise money for the cause to combat Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. One text after another. Here's Gag and his beautiful wife, Suzanne just waking up and getting ready to roll: I was tired just thinking about what they were getting ready to do. A 5-K and then a 10-K the next day and then a half marathon and finally a full marathon. Four days...about 3,473 miles!! Are you kidding me? What would make someone even think of doing such a thing???? That would! That's my real idol there. Michael Jr. Always with a beautiful girl. Forever with a huge smile. I'm really proud to live in a world where people like Michael & Suzanne give back. Where people like my sister, Corinne, works hard to raise money for the Komen Breast Cancer cause. That's what makes you sit back and think... ...in the mid...

Recently on Facebook someone sent a quiz around that asked you to name the states that you've stepped foot in. I'm in the 30's with states that I've visited in this great nation, but until Thursday I had never stepped foot in New Hampshire. Let me tell you... ...I had no chance of being impressed. I made it to the airport nice and early for the flight out. We boarded the plane and then the pilot seemed to be set on driving to New Hampshire. "Why the heck aren't we in the air yet?" I asked. "We're going back to the gate," the stranger sitting next to me said. The winds were howling. There was ice everywhere. A snowstorm was on the way. Of course we were. Yet I decided to just go with the flow. What the hell can you do? Force the pilot to fly a broken plane? We sat on the plane for a little while and then they sent us back into the terminal. A young couple who were on their way to Aruba got into a shouting match with th...

Mr. (Stan) Tezyk passed away this week. Not everyone who's reading this knows Mr. Tezyk, but the students of North Collins Central certainly do. Mr. Tezyk was a teacher at the school for years and years and years. If you attended North Collins High School anywhere from 1970-2014 you were well aware of Mr. Tezyk's influence. Even after he retired he was a mainstay in the town that he loved. I thought of Mr. Tezyk a lot this week as I went about my business - out of town - which would make attending his services impossible. There were just so many things to consider. First and foremost, Mr. Tezyk was a good man. You can tell by the grin in the photo above that he liked to have fun. Secondly, he always seemed to be covered in chalk dust when he taught class. Thirdly, he dressed a little like me...hammering the disheveled look. Fourthly, he really loved his family. The Tezyk family (and all of North Collins) suffered a tremendous loss when John Tezyk was kill...

My wonderful sister, Carrie Lynn was fond of telling a joke where a baby polar bear is walking through the Arctic with his father and he asks: "Dad are you sure we're polar bears?" He asks this question over and over until the father polar bear says: "Of course we're polar bears! I'm a polar bear! Your mother is a polar bear! So you're a polar bear! Why do you keep asking?" And the baby polar bear says: "Cause I'm f&*$ing cold!!" That's the way it is here in Buffalo. People say: "You're from Buffalo! You're used to it!!" Well. "I'm f&*$ing cold!!" We were talking out on the construction site the other day as the wind whipped through and froze the freaking snot to our faces. "My face gets cold," The young lad standing in front of me said. His face was the color of Superman's cape. "Really?" I asked. "I didn't notice." And for m...

One of the greatest compliments I ever heard about Yankee great Don Mattingly was in the simple way that he treated everyone he knew while he was having a string of MVP years. A clubhouse attendant said that he once saw Mattingly emptying the garbage cans in the clubhouse. The guy was horrified because it was his job and he thought he'd get in trouble for not emptying the can on time. "You work hard," Mattingly told the guy. "I can empty the garbage too." Put that against the stories that are coming out about the former Buffalo Bills coach - Doug Marrone - who is our easy choice for D.B. of the week. "Selfish, greedy and self-centered," one guy said. "He belittled everyone," said another. "Everyone was sick of his miserable personality," said a third. And it doesn't help that he was the coach of two teams that joined the list of the 13 Bills teams before his tenure in not making the playoffs. Nope. The real sin...

So, my beautiful wife informed me that I was in trouble. She'd had a dream that I had cheated on her and that I left her no choice other than to divorce me and take all my money. "As opposed to just plain taking it," I said. Yet she wanted to talk about it. "You confessed," she said. "I caught you in a lie and you ended up telling me everything." "Did I get into details?" I asked. "Yep, you told me everything." "Was she hot?" I asked. "Yeah, was it worth it?" I tried to think through the question, but instead just laughed. "You're a moron," I said. Yet dreams are really weird, aren't they? Don't you just love when you wake and the dream is right there for you to consider? I read somewhere that if you dream bad things about someone it's actually a foreshadowing that the person is going to have some good fortune bestowed upon them. That's probably garbage, b...

When a lone man shot his girlfriend in the stomach and then drove from Baltimore to Brooklyn to kill two police officers sitting in their car there was a real tendency to put the blame where it didn't belong. He wasn't acting on the wishes of a mayor who dissed his own cops. He wasn't trying to make the president happy. He didn't even hate cops all that much. Turns out the guy was just plain, bat shit crazy. Or that's what it seems from our point-of-view, right? I read a long account of the man's life. Ismaaiyl Brinsley was a lost man. He'd been lost for a long time. His family knew he was a mess. His friends were worried that it would end badly. Hell, one look at his social media pages told you that he was delusional, at best, and murderous at worst. He also shot himself, which puts an end to the discussion of will he do it again. People were sad to see him die at his own hand because there was a real urge to tear him limb from limb. He ...

We didn't do a dang thing on New Year's Eve. Well actually, Jake went to a friend's house, Matt was at a party, and Kathy, Sam and I toasted the New Year at 11:00 - countdown and all - because I couldn't stay up another hour. Bye-bye - 2014. Hello 2015. Yet on New Year's Day we thought about marking the change with something...I mentioned Buffalo Wild Wings and before Kathy could object hard enough the boys cemented the deal. We sat around the hot wings with the television showing the football games and we talked about 2015. Kathy handed out the resolutions: Jake would be kinder. Sam would be more organized. She would remove the clutter from every freaking room in the house... ...and I would vow to be happy. "I'd be happy if we got rid of the clutter," I said. I smiled as I did so and everyone jumped on the fact that I looked happy. I had resolved not to make any resolutions, but I actually thought of one as I sat there. ...

My beautiful wife didn't wanna' watch The Interview . "It's stupid," she said. My boys really wanted to see it, of course. Seth Rogen and James Franco are popular movie-makers around here. "It's gonna' be really funny," they said. Well, it sorta' turns out that they were all right. Of course, The Interview made a whole lot of noise before anyone really saw it. Kim Jong Un wasn't really thrilled about being made fun of and he took it out on Sony. But there were some really clever aspects to it. A huge part of the writing of the story had to come from the visits that Dennis Rodman made to North Korea and the reports that he sent back about the little dictator being a pretty good guy. Of course there were a lot of funny lines about really juvenile things, but that's what my boys were talking about when they thought about a Rogen-Franco movie. They are funny. They are stupid. The movie wasn't made to change world ...

Yep. Two D.B.'s of the week. With Christmas and New Year's falling on Thursday's the past two weeks it didn't feel right to dirty the days with D.B. thoughts, but now that we are here in the new year, game on. Johnny Manziel is a true D.B. Or as they call him, 'Johnny Football.' Well...let's recap, shall we? The kid was a college standout at QB. He got busted drinking. (Not the end of the world). But then it was just one bad decision after another. He posed for pictures in Vegas when he was supposed to be preparing for his job. He made dollar signs when he scored. He got in trouble with his coaches, his teammates, his family and was on the verge of trouble with the law time after time. His draft stock slipped. The Browns took a chance after he supposedly texted the president of the organization during the draft and told him how great he'd be. They brought him in and he sat on the bench. He finally got into a game, and he stunk. ...

Just sitting here on day one of 2015. Time is a weird concept. There are people out there today who will sit down as the day ends and think: "There's one good day! I just need 364 more!!" But it doesn't work that way, does it? Don't you hate chapped lips? We've had a bad time here in Buffalo if you dig deep behind the fact that the Quarterback and the Head Coach quit the team after the Bills went 9-7. (More on that later). I'm talking about the murders. There has been gang unrest in the city and one man after another is being shot to death on the city streets. It's weird how that goes to the back pages. We had one murder in the town I grew up in as a kid and I can remember every second of that day. Now there's barely a second glance. Do you scrape all the ice and snow off your car or just enough to see? Speaking of death...there's a story making rounds about a 2-year old who shot his mother to death in Wal-Mart. The kid grab...

New tradition! Didn't make it to midnight again. We counted down 11 o'clock with Sam (the only kid home) and then headed off to sleep...but it doesn't matter! We still hope you have a great 2015. "Stay hard, Stay Hungry, Stay Alive...if you can...and meet me in a dream of this hard land." (Thanks, Bruce) How many ways can we wish you Happy New Year? When the New Year arrives, it brings new ideas and hopes for us to make our lives good to better and better to best. Wish You and Your Family a Happy New Year 2015! The New Year gives you fresh 365 days to play with – fill them up with whatever your heart desires so that you have no regrets at the end of the annual cycle. Along with all the new hopes and promises that the New Year would bring Hope it also brings us a lot more opportunities to work together. Wish you a very Happy and Successful Year ahead. New Aim, New Dreams, New Achievements Everything Waiting for You. Forget The Failures. Correct Yo...