At the Movies

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It was a rainy, cold miserable weekend in Buffalo.

"It's gonna' get worse," was what I said to my beautiful wife as we headed to the movie theater to see Gone Girl.

I wasn't thrilled with the movie choice as I'm not a Ben Affleck fan, but that's more about him being a Suck Sux fan and bashing the 27-Time World Champion Greatest Franchise in the History of Organized American Sports.

But Gone Girl it was.

I dropped Kathy and Sam at the door and they headed in for tickets. I parked the car a long ways away and made the long walk alone. I broke through the door and went to the food line.

Sam can't watch a movie without a huge blue slushie and some candy. I needed the "small" water for $6. We got a small bag of popcorn too. $22 in damage for that crap and the guy in line was so slow that I wanted to pull him over the counter.

But we were inside.

And you could tell how miserable it was outside by how filled the theater was. By the second preview Kathy moved from beside Sam to beside me.

"Oh, how nice," I said. "My wife wants to sit with me."

"Believe me, it ain't you," she said. "The guy behind me was narrating the previews and he's stupid."

So we settled in.

And yeah, I heard the guy behind us.

He commented on everything.

If a character swore he said "Uh-Oh! That's not nice."

He laughed at times in the movie that called for drama.

And then.

The guy two seats down from me starting digging into the bottom of his popcorn bucket.

I swear to God it was all I could hear for about six minutes.

I had a moments thought of grabbing the bucket out of his hands, pushing it down on his head, and pulling it enough for his head to break through the bottom.

I could almost see the butter dripping down his stupid forehead.

And maybe it was because I didn't love the movie.

"I thought it'd be better," Sam said partway through.

He was on his phone checking the score of the Nationals-Giants game. We watched an inning pass as the movie played and played and played.

Of course, in the end, it was all about the experience of it all. Movies cost a lot of money these days and I still think it's decent entertainment, I suppose. I have no bitches about paying for the experience.

But people that you don't know are truly irritating.

Aren't they?

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