Do Birds Sleep?

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Woke up at 4:17 with that question in mind because my windows were open and one son-of-a-bitch was singing, non-stop, and it wasn't Born to Run.

It was more like that rap crap that drives me crazy.

I'd have shot him off his perch if there were a couple of factors that went my way. Like having a gun. Like knowing that I couldn't shoot straight at all. Like finding the bastard.

So I tried to enjoy it, but honestly the bird was singing like my beautiful wife.

Off-key and confident.

So I turned to the phone.

"Do birds sleep?" I typed into Google.

And what's amazing to me is that:

1). I was up a couple of hours before I needed to be and I had the presence of mind to wonder if birds actually sleep

and

2). The damn Google machine had an answer for me in less than two seconds.

Now I'm not sure what I was planning to do with the information. I guess, in the back of my mind I was looking for something like:

"Birds like to sleep from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m."

So that I could get into my car and blast a real annoying song at them as they rested in the trees...like Led Zeppelin or something...and wake the bastards up.

Google told me that birds, in fact, do sleep but that they are light sleepers who don't sleep eight consecutive hours like we are trying to do. They actually sleep with one eye open as they have to be aware of predators and because its tough to get straight sleep sitting up in a freaking tree.

So, my dream of spoiling their slumber was forgotten.

So I tried to lie back and enjoy the melodic sounds and maybe get in touch with what I needed for the day.

What I needed was more sleep.

And melody?

Forget it...that bird was worse than my singing wife...

son-of-a-bitch was 50-cent.

Wish I had a gun.

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