Thoughts of a Common Man

Now I know that the laws are written for all of us and that many lives have been ruined by drug abuse, but can't we leave Willie Nelson alone? The man is 77 years old. He wears a handkerchief and sings songs while strumming a guitar and making no excuses for his love of smoking pot. He's also a very funny dude who is always great in interviews, took a beating for not paying his taxes, and built a golf course on his own property. I will never forget the interview in which he stated that he played golf under his own terms. The 60 Minutes reporter asked him what he meant as they walked the course. "It's my course so I set the par on each hole," he said. "For instance, I set par on this hole at 8 even though regulation courses might put it at a par 4, and let me tell you, yesterday I birdied that sucker." Willie isn't hurting anyone. He was busted coming back from a concert with 6 ounces of pot on the tour bus. I doubt he was selling it. It was for his o...

...I am serious, and stop calling me Shirley. Leslie Nielson is dead at 84. Think of him without smiling. The Airplane movies, the Naked Gun series.Frank Drebin with Nordberg.Whatever happened to the guy who played Nordberg? Oh yeah, he murdered a couple of people. Anyway, I always enjoyed Leslie Nielson's comedy. Funny man. Silly movies. The definition of entertainment. And speaking of entertainment, The Bills have been fun to watch over the last six weeks, haven't they? Three overtime losses, a couple of wins...a far cry from the start of the year. They are actually entertainers. Yet yesterday one of the receivers dropped a ball that I might have been able to catch. The throw hit Steve Johnson in the hands, went off his chest, and landed in the end zone. They would have won the game. The city would've gone crazy this morning as they would have earned a win over the mighty Steelers. There was no good reason why the ball shouldn't have been caught. Seriously, throw it u...

I usually set up a long list of things that I want to get accomplished on any given day. Yesterday my list consisted of one thing: sit quietly. I purposely cleared my head and decided to take a full day off. No book work. No Jeter contract. No laundry. No cooking. Nothing. It was a day off that I didn't announce to anyone. I just took it. And nothing happened. I watched reruns of Raymond, King of Queens and Two and a Half Men. I watched three or four crime dramas and then capped it off with a violent movie with Edward Norton in it. We ate KFC and the boys played games all day. "Let the dogs out," was my big command of the day. Why is it so important? I believe that the biggest problem I have is that I can't sit still and just relax. So I forced myself to do it. I just sat back and took stock of everything. What did I learn? Well, for one...Edward Norton is one of my favorite actors. His movies are always good and I usually admire the characters he plays. Two...people ...

So Mr. President took 12 stitches when elbowed during a pickup basketball game. The shocking part of the story for me is that it was the fifth of five full-court games. Isn't he older than me? If I tried to participate in such a tourney I'd be leaving the court on a stretcher. Good for him, I suppose, but the economy blows, North Korea is blasting missiles, Afghanistan is still hot, Iraq is still going, and Sarah Palin is out stumping. How do you wrap your mind around a good, clean box-out when all that crap is going on? The snow on the ground didn't exactly comfort me this morning either. It's been nine months since it last snowed here in Buffalo, but I certainly dread the cold because I don't know when it will be nice again. There is the potential that the crap weather could stretch until May. I know a lot of people who get excited by the first snowfall too. Really? There are the winter wonderland songs that make it seem so charming, but in your life have you slid...

I certainly go through lack of sleeping jags that drive me crazy. Up at 4:45 on Thanksgiving Day when I could have gone to 9 or 10 but would have settled for six. Oh well, I was determined to enjoy the day anyway and I had a few wonderful moments, like when I was able to snap the above photo, on my mother's birthday, after sharing a tremendous meal that my brother Jim, the man with the heart the size of the Grinch's prepared with little help at all. I had stopped out early, way early, to give him a hand, but instead, we toasted Dad and Jeff, and shared a few laughs over 2 drinks. (Just 2, I swear) as we waited for the rest of the guests to arrive. And the grim reality of it all is that there are less guests showing up now. The heartbreaking realization of that sat over the table and pressed down on our heads, but we ate, watched football, and playfully made fun of one another as my wife and mother spoke of the Christmas shopping, and the days ahead. Spoke of the days ahead. So ...

Last Sunday I sat next to my mother in church. For anyone who knows my mother, you are quite aware that she is an unbelievably strong woman who certainly has been tied to the whipping post lately, and still she is trying to wear a brave face. Yet Sunday the priest made a comment about how excited he was that we were going to finally have the chance to Thank God for all that he's done for us. "That's a good one," my mother whispered to me. I laughed, turned to her, and she shrugged at me with tears in her eyes. Thankful? Are you freaking kidding me? But, despite it all, there are things out there that we should be thankful for. My thoughts immediately go to my beautiful wife and my wonderful children, of course. Oh, yeah and my brothers and sisters and friends and family members. Knowing the dark side, I understand that it is important to enjoy the ride. The people in my life have helped me do that over and over again. I'm thankful that I am still relatively health...

One of those days when I'm going to let Mellencamp write the blog. Honestly, last night was a colossal exercise in noise, ringing telephones, things that needed to be done, and I kept thinking.... ....sometimes life is too ridiculous to live and knew that it came from JCM. Between a Laugh and a Tear When paradise is no longer fit for you to live in and all your adolescent dreams are gone Through the days you feel a little used up And you don't know where your energy's gone wrong It's just your soul feeling a little downhearted Sometimes life is just too ridiculous to live You count your friends all on one finger I know its crazy, its just the way that we live. Between a laugh and a tear smile in the mirror as you walk by between a laugh and a tear and that's as good as it can get for us and there ain't no reason to stop trying. When this cardboard town can no longer amuse you you see through everything and nothing seems worthwhile and hypocrite used to be such a...

All right so the whore that was in the room with Charlie Sheen is offended that he didn't treat her with respect, talking down at her, making her feel disrespected, and now she is filing a lawsuit because he has forever damaged her ability to make a living. Don't get me wrong...Charlie Sheen has really acted like a drug-infested ass for a long time. Someone should let him know that he has kids, a following, and a responsibility to act like a human being, no matter how big a star he is or how great his show seems to be. And where is CBS through all of this? Sheen has been arrested a bunch of times, has been in and out of rehab, and they don't say a word about it. Could it be because he is the star of their highest-rated show? I wonder. But back to Charlie's date... Capri Anderson is the name the young lady goes by, and for all intents and purposes, she is a woman who seems to have taken good care of herself. Yet she is flabbergasted by Sheen's behavior. It seems that...

The new book is about 30 days out, and even though I knew there was a possibility that I would have to go through the text again, I was sort of hoping I might miss it. Of course, that was not possible. There will most likely be one more read-through as well. What is the purpose of it all? Not to change content at this stage of the game, but to do that maddening grammar dance. Let me tell you, I am no grammar expert. Like everyone else, I absolutely hated those exercises in school, but I know how to do it, a little bit...nothing like my editors though. A book edit is a strange thing because as the author you are naturally defensive. Your initial reaction is to try and discredit the editor straight off. You see the red marks and read the comments, and you feel like the dumbest human being on the planet. Then the edit begins, and instead of reading and riding the wave of that creative flow, you're looking at your consistent mistakes over and over again. Why can't I understand the ...

The details are a little sketchy but the story is true. On my tenth birthday the gift I received from my parents was Wilt Chamberlin's autobiography - his first one, not the one where he claimed to have slept with 10,000 women. "I can't believe you wanted this," my mother said. "I really, really, really wanted it," I answered. "I can't wait to get started." Yet I still was too young to read such a book. I loved Wilt. I loved reading, and so my mother presented me the book in 1974. It was the heaviest book I'd ever held in my hands, and I read it very quickly the first time through, and the second, and the third. I still have it in my room filled with books, and I've resisted the most recent urges to pick it up again. But a couple of things came of it. 1). I can remember asking my mother what 'screwed' meant. As in Wilt and a teammate went back to the girls room and 'screwed' them. "Skip that part," Mom said. 2)...

The nightly news started with a story about the fact that interest in marriage is dwindling. People are waiting a lot longer to get married these days, marriage isn't lasting as it did in recent years, and some are saying that marriage will one day be obsolete. I'm not sure, but I can't really consider this to be good news. Marriage, done well, is pretty damn cool, right? Doesn't the Bible tell us things about it? Isn't the commitment that goes with love supposed to be a factor. Let's examine. 54% of the American adult population is married...so it isn't exactly obsolete, but that is down from 72% in 1960. The average age of a marriage start, now, is over 28. My parents had four kids by the time they were that age! Yet times change, right? I'm all against the down trend in marriage and that's because I believe that the family is an essential part to the moral togetherness of our country. I was talking the other day to a kid who was trying to tell me ...

My work takes me out to construction sites from Erie Pennsylvania to New York City and sometimes to other states where I conduct audits, write reports, and give presentations. Every year I do a presentation at a company just around the corner from where I live. Through the years I've grown to know all of the guys at a tight-knit company and we laugh a lot as I try to get the rules across. The problem being that this company works in the middle of busy roadways, and sometimes, safety is not possible because there are way too many variables. At the start of this week, one of those men who attended my safety trainings was run down by a truck. At 27 years old, his life ended. An accident that cost the man his life, his dreams, and cost that company in ways they won't even imagine. I've been around such things before, but I tell you, I wanted to vomit when I heard the news. Three days later, I'm stuck with the thought that you need to learn to live with that you can't ri...

So, Eva Longoria is done with her marriage. I am back in the picture...I got that going for me. When I mentioned that at dinner my son, Jake, said: "You have a better shot at getting Tony Parker." So, some guy shot his television set after watching Palin's daughter dance and advance into the finals of Dancing with the Stars. (No, I'm not watching it - I couldn't take the chance that I'd see her goofy mother cheering her on). Yet, after seeing the Palin kid close up I can only say at least the guy only shot the tv...she's enough to re-direct the gun to your own temple. The luckiest guy in the world is the father of her kid. He got away. So, The Mission Accomplished sign is going to be hung in George W.'s historical museum... are they going to wait to hang it when the mission is actually accomplished? It's only been 7 years since they hung the banner. So, The Buffalo Bills finally won a football game. There were only 54,000 fans on hand to see it. R...

What is the first thing that you think of when you wake up in the morning? I thought of that today because when my eyes opened today, before the freaking alarm again, I automatically started saying a Hail Mary. Sister Henrietta would be so proud, and I wondered about why I clicked that button as soon as the eyes came open. During baseball season I often think about the Yankee result from the night before. Being that the Bills lose on a weekly basis, and that every single hockey game ends in some sort of tie before they decide it with a skills competition, I don't have that to concern me anymore. Of course, my new reality is to say good morning to my brother and my Dad, but that usually brings a sense of resignation and defeat that doesn't exactly lift me out of bed. Then the next thing that hits are the lists of tasks for the day....one thing after another, laid out before me in a to-do list that threatens to keep me cowering under the covers, but I always toss the covers aside...

New Bruce today...well actually it is "old" new Bruce...songs that he set aside during the making of Darkness on the Edge of Town . What gets me about it isn't the music, but the journey that I've been on since 1978 when I first heard Badlands at a buddy's house. Hooked on the first few notes...and the old familiar voice sounds just as good to me today, but it was wrapped in life... Like riding in a car playing The River for my brother John - who up to that point, hated Bruce and then two years later picking up the Born in the USA album for the first time and listening John try to sing along with a song he never heard before. It wasn't good. Like going off to college and listening to Bruce every free minute with friends who are among the greatest people I've ever met. Terry, Rosie, Gag, Fluff, George....song after song...album after album...everyone else begging us to listen to anything else. Like going to the concerts...the first one with John and Tom......

Early on I asked my beautiful, talented sister Carrie to write a foreword for Oh Brother! At the time we had a different title for the book and were still working through the initial stages of grief (we haven't gotten real far) but this is so beautifully written that I needed to share it with you. Thank you, Carrie Lynn. Here is one story where it is impossible to separate the author from the subject matter. Clifford J. Fazzolari, as an author of nine books previous, has written this memoir about his very best friend and brother, Jeffrey Frank Fazzolari, and has said time and time again, “He is the greatest character I will ever write about.” The family has come to refer to Jeffrey as a “walking celebration” despite the fact that he suffered from constant back pain and walked with a noticeable limp. When Cliff asked me to think about writing the Foreword for this book, I did not hesitate and responded “Absolutely.” The title is Life, Laughter and Love after all, and as the youn...

Yesterday the question of leaving a last will came up. Now I don't know anybody who really wants to talk about such a thing, but in our family, given all that life has brought in the last couple of years, it is probably a responsible thing to do. Well, Kathy and I will hopefully make an appointment soon to muddle through such a task so that there is a smooth transition for her when I collapse. Thankfully, I was smart enough to take a few life insurance policies years ago...so good start. Not saying that it's coming anytime soon, but I do have to hand it to my beautiful wife, she has it nearly set up, financially-wise, so that I don't need to be present. Her only act left will be to clean out the twenty-three bucks I carry in my wallet. Yet I kid with you. That is exactly how it should be and the level of trust is such that I don't even care that she has enough money to pack up the whole shebang and hit the road should I get stuck in a Jameson cloud. She deserves that mu...

Its funny with dreams, you know? This morning I distinctly remember two of my dreams from last night. One was of my dog, Max, and carrying him up the stairs when he was sick at the end of his life. Awwww, Max-A-Million , I thought when I awoke. He was a king amongst dogs. The other dream was actually a recall of a 1981 concert by George Thorogood, Journey, and the Rolling Stones. I recall my brother John, my buddy Tom, and my buddy JC watching Jagger and Richards onstage, and the one sung that stuck was Tumbling Dice - a Stones classic that opened the encore. How's that for a memory? Yet Tumbling Dice was in my dream because its always been one of my favorite songs, yet I had no idea what Mick was saying. I used to wait for the part where he sang, sixes and sevens and nines and You can be my partner in crime. Thank God for the lyrics app on the droid. Are you ready? Tumbling Dice by the Glimmer Twins Women think I'm tasty, but they're always trying to waste me And make m...

I had a blast today at the speech and book signing at the Women & Children's Hospital of Buffalo. I was introduced by a neurosurgeon who told me that he admires me, and that he loves my books. So, I have that going for me. Here is a little of my speech. "I stand before you today thinking about the fact that my son ran in the Susan G. Komen race, beating me by a full 12 minutes, just nine years after a severely life-threatening operation. When I finally crossed the finish line, he called me 'a mess.' "And that is the miracle of his survival. He was Blessed by God, for sure, but he was also Blessed by a team of people who researched, did their jobs, and cared enough to send him home to us. The miracle of love and dedication is a miracle that we all live with every day." "Now, please visualize this next part with me. Close your eyes and concentrate." I paused long enough for those in attendance to get their eyes closed. "So, I'm in the sho...

So we have another licensed driver in the house. After two years of hearing, 'I'm a good driver.' Matt passed his road test. It's funny what a parent looks at in times like these, but when he told me that he passed my mind flashed me a memory of him sitting beside me, at the age of 3, beating my brains out in Play Station basketball. At that time, I was simply amazed that he was reading the guys names on the back of their uniforms. Now I'm simply amazed that he's on the road with me. Amazed and nervous. He took my father-in-law's car yesterday and he was skipping out to the driveway. No doubt he was feeling all grown-up and full of the hopefulness of being alive. I recalled the first time I drove my parents car all the way to Buffalo to go to work. I was nervous getting there, nervous as I worked (I kept looking out the window to assess my park job) and nervous getting home. Yet as Matt got all fired up, I decided that I had to be the guy to tear him down - ...

I grew up in a small town 23 miles South of the City of Buffalo: North Collins - and I am forever proud of that fact. Well, mostly forever proud of it. A couple of fine police officers were killed there. Recently, there was a gruesome murder of a disabled woman there, and every once in awhile there is news made there that upsets me and spoils my idyllic remembrances of what a wonderful place that it is. Yet a story making rounds in the last few days really makes me shake my head. It seems at the North Collins Elementary there is a story brewing because the Pledge of Allegiance is said over the loud speaker, but is cut off after one line - so that the students can finish saying it in their own classrooms at their own pace. Fine. Smart. Responsible. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT! But the school board is up in arms, claiming that the school is being run by the unpatriotic Taliban. THAT'S NOT THE FACT, JACK! Being that I'm a master debater (that's spelled right) I must st...

George W.'s quote on the front of the USA Today is this: "I could have done better." You think? Yet there's something way too compassionate about me because although I was never a fan of W. or W's father, or even W's mother...I felt bad for him as I read the article. The reporter asked him if it bothered him that people made a mockery of him for being perceived, as they say, as a little less than intelligent. I was uncomfortable for him, just reading the question. Put simpler it could have said: "Does it bother you that people think you're a dumb f$%$k?" I don't think anyone should have to answer such a question, let alone a guy who won an election twice with about 40% of the vote each time and graduated Yale with a C minus. Yet I was a real harsh critic. Perhaps, as W believes, he will be vindicated as time passes, but what I read of the book won't do it for me. Of the revelations he said that some of his mistakes include: 1). Failing wi...

All right so the Bills are oh and 8 and the rest of the schedule doesn't look real promising because these guys know how to lose. Can they run the table and finish at .500? Will they go down in infamy? I looked at Sam's face when they threw the interception that led to the game-winning touchdown yesterday and I felt bad for him. I thought about the first Super Bowl the Bills went to and how proud I was to see them run onto the field. Anyway...I have 10 possible solutions. 1). Use Ralph Wilson as a tackling dummy. This will not only solve their problem of not hitting hard...it may also rid them of the owner that doesn't seem to get it. Then again, Ralph may put a couple of his high draft picks on their asses. 2). Swap uniforms with the Jills. Think of the young lady snapping the ball and the other young lady receiving the snap...ah, the possibilities are endless. 3). Have the offense and the defense switch. Maybe Aaron Maybin can play quarterback. 4). Make the Lions play wit...

This is the time to remember. Last night we visited with a few close friends in a basement that is setup for men to play games, drink beer, make fun of each other, and bet on everything under the sun. As you will note I had a pool cue in my hands and its a good thing I didn't hurt myself with it. I shot pool as badly as I played Foosball, and threw darts. I entered the party with a case of beer and a bottle of grey goose to pay off a bet when the 27-time World Champion Yankees were eliminated this year. I also had about 50 bucks in my pocket but I donated that fairly quickly by playing pool, darts and foose like a real moron. Nothing worked. But it doesn't matter because my stomach hurt from laughing. My brother Jim showed up and with our friends we told so many stories about Jeff's life that there was no way that we were leaving sad - laugh after laugh after laugh. Yet it was heartbreaking because those were the very same games that we played with him on our team, or agai...

Was talking to a co-worker who had a beef with another man. "What did you do?" I asked. "Oh, I sent him a strongly worded text," he replied. Really? A strongly-worded text? Is this how we have evolved? Years ago, you would have kicked his ass, whipped his ass, harassed his wife and children, kidnapped his dog, humiliated him in public, swore at him, sent him a horse head for his bed. Something. I call it the pusification of America. Don't eat too much. Don't drink that or you'll grow wings on your feet, no eggs, go easy on the carbs, lay off the red meat...no smoking, swearing, cursing.....blah, blah, blah, blah blah.... I often think of my father and grandfather in situations like those mentioned above. Their philosophy of life was not to take any crap from anyone and to never wish you said something to someone who you feel treated you poorly. My grandfather told the local doctor that the best thing about his practice was that it was next-door to the fu...

The following is my recap of the day nine years ago...from Counting on a Miracle...Sterlinghouse Publisher The day was cold and damp. We left the house in darkness, and all three of us were still wiping sleep from our eyes. Kathy was partially through her caffeine and nicotine fix, and Jake’s eyes seemed to be rolling from a lack of sleep. I can’t say that I felt as if I had, “sleep in the bank,” as Doctor Levitt had prescribed, but adrenalin was definitely surging through my veins. I despised the idea that I would have to make the daily trek to The Children’s Hospital of Buffalo, but I could only pray that I would be making it every day for the next week or so. “Who is the best surgeon in the world?” Kathy asked. She had asked this question before, but it was especially unsettling this morning. “I don’t know,” I whispered. “Don’t you think he deserves to have the best surgeon in the world working on him?” “Of course he does,” I said. “Come on, don’t do this. You know the reputation of...

My nephew Jake is still battling in the hospital and it feels so weird to once again be trying to do the routine things while being hammered with worry...shouldn't be this way. And it always gets me to thinking about the ordinary days - those days that we seem to throw away waiting for something else to happen. "I can't wait for the weekend." "I wish today would just be over with." "I'm counting the minutes until 5 o'clock." Whenever I catch myself saying something like that I hear the voice of my former labor partner - back in the late 80's - who told me: 'Don't ever wish time away, my friend.' It used to get real annoying when he'd tell me that. I was young. It never seemed that there'd ever be a shortage of days. What did it matter if I threw an hour away here or there? Yet think of all that can be done in an hour. Think of what you can do to make your life a little more productive. Think of the people in your lif...

So last night there was a loud bang and then a couple of real terrifying screams. "What the hell was that?" I asked Kathy. We headed down the stairs to find the wall in the above shape. "I didn't even touch him," Jake said. "I mean I hardly pushed him. Something wrong with that wall." It started with a hug. Hee-Hee tried to hug Ha-Ha good-night. Ha-Ha didn't want Hee-Hee touching him so he pushed him away. Hee-Hee pushed back and we have a hole in our wall. "Can you fix it?" Jake asked as I surveyed the damage. "I can't, but your Uncle Jim is in town so you're in luck." "Will it cost much?" Jake asked. I know he was terrified of being punished. I remember the feeling because growing up with three brothers we broke a window a week in my parents home. "Are you thinking of paying for it?" I asked. Ten minutes later we were back in getting to bed form. Kathy was certainly stressing about it, but it didn...

Received a text late yesterday afternoon that said look on your front lawn. Of course, my first political sign was there. Cliff for Clerk looks good to me. It is the start of my taking over the world as CEO and overall leader. Of course, the sign comes with a story. Evidently Clifton, a Republican was running for clerk and he passed out the signs. A buddy, seeing that it would be perfect to jump start my mission to control the world, obtained the sign (it supposedly fell off the back of a truck) and placed it on my lawn. Clifton lost, I'm told, but that doesn't stop me from getting the ball rolling. What's my platform, you ask? Well in honor of my buddy I am looking to stop stupid, and crying and whining and screaming and yelling. When the kids were young that was my overall platform. Even to this day they can recite my rules. ME: What are the rules? The Boys: No whining, no crying, no screaming, no yelling, no stupid. It eliminates all elements. Think about it. Don't y...

Mick Jagger sang a song a few years back - 'Let's Work' - not Stones material by any means but I could listen to Jagger burp the alphabet he is so familiar to me. That song has been sticking in my head for the last few days because I saw a 60Minutes piece about people being out of work for like two years - college graduates who were on extended unemployment in California and are just now taking jobs at much less than what they were making. I have been fortunate and blessed to have not been out of work since I was 14 or so, and that is because I actually feel like I have to go to work. Some jobs have been way better than others, but I get up and go. No matter how I feel, no matter what aches, no matter if I feel I have vacation time coming or if I need to go to the doctor, or if I am fighting with someone at home, or if I am real happy or real sad. It's all I know. Which brings me back to the 60 Minutes piece. I see a lot of people in today's workforce who have somet...

I can't believe it's November already... Encouraging news from the hospital...keep up the good fight, Jake... And yesterday was Halloween. The world's dumbest holiday. I never liked it, but yesterday it was even more haggard as we had pasta during the latest Bills loss (happens every week) and then my niece brought her children over for a trip around the block dressed in their costumes. As everyone was dragging from the weekend at the hospital, it was even more tiring, but little kids bring an energy...and bring it...and bring it...and bring it. Dylan was the four year old and I watched as he ran from room to room, and when he wasn't running he was spinning in a circle, just missing stepping on his seven-month old sister Layla, screaming, chasing his cousins...running, yelling, jumping. I'm getting old. It doesn't appear to be fun anymore to chase kids from room to room. As a matter of fact, I wasn't enamored with it when my kids were young. And they aren...