Kobe! Fuzzy! Kobe! Fuzzy!

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A rerun from May of 2010 - photo by Colantino

I wish someone could explain the workings of the human mind to me. Or at the very least I wish a team of psychiatrists could interpret my dreams.

Okay, here goes: My dream from last night:

Me, the wife and the boys are watching the Lakers playoff game. (That's a dream right there - I wouldn't get caught dead watching the NBA).

Midway through the game Kobe Bryant hits the ground, clutching his left knee. He's writhing in pain, and I turn to Kathy.

"You know what this means?" I ask.

"You think they'll call you?" she asks right back. The ringing telephone stifles my answer. Phil Jackson is on the other end of the line. "We need you," is all he says.

The boys are excited. Kathy is torn, knowing that she will miss me around the house but that the Lakers need me too. She understood all this when she married me.

"I don't want to fly across the country," I say. "I'm tired. I work too much."

"You'll get to use your I-pod for the entire plane ride," she says by way of argument. Phil Jackson is patiently awaiting my answer.

"I used my good sneakers to till the garden," I respond.

"We'll give you sneakers!" Phil screams in my ear.

"But I'm 45 years old. I'm only ten percent of the player I once was," I respond.

"Ten percent of you is 95% better than the rest of the league," Kathy answers. (She's even great in dreams, isn't she?).

I hardly even remembered the plane ride, but we landed at LAX and thousands were lined up to greet me. The police escort to the Staples Center followed, and I was introduced over the loudspeaker as the crowd chanted Fuzzy! Fuzzy! Fuzzy!

Unfortunately, I never got to play in the game.

Melky stirred at the foot of my bed, sat up and started to cry. Even though it was the middle of the night she needed to hit the head.

"Bah!" I was just getting ready to start the game," I mumbled.

I swear I saw that dog smile.

As I waited in the cold, dark night for Melky to finish her business, I thought about the game that I would've played.

Be sure of one thing:

I would have dominated.

God help me!

Comments

Gag said…
Melky needs to go. I need to know what happens when you get in the game.
04 May, 2010
chris said…
PICTURE AT 11!
04 May, 2010
Cliff Fazzolari said…
Chris that picture is classic - I laugh every time I look at it.

Kobe Fuzz
04 May, 2010
Gag said…
Check out the look on #10's face. He can't believe the elevation your getting.
04 May, 2010
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