Random Thoughts - At Last a Funny E-Mail

Random Thoughts of the Day:

1) Nothing sucks more than that moment during an
argument when you realize you're wrong.

2) I totally take back all those times I didn't
want to nap when I was younger.

3) There is a great need for sarcasm font.

4) How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted
sheet?

5) I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery
bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my
groceries in.

6) MapQuest really needs to start their directions
on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my
neighborhood.

7) Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if
they told you how the person died.

8) I can't remember the last time I wasn't at
least kind of tired.

9) Bad decisions make good stories

10) You never know when it will strike, but there
comes a moment at work when you've made up your
mind that you just aren't doing anything
productive for the rest of the day.

11) I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out
of Word and it asks me if I want to save any
changes to my ten page research paper that I swear
I did not make any changes to.

12) I hate when I just miss a call by the last
ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I
immediately call back, it rings nine times and
goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't
answer? Drop the phone and run away?

13) I hate leaving my house confident and looking
good and then not seeing anyone of importance the
entire day. What a waste.

14) As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a
pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the
mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

15) I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone
just so I know not to answer when they call.

16) I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on
any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses
begin with Miller Lites than Kay.


Bonus Funnies:


I was so depressed last night thinking about the
economy, government, healthcare, real estate
prices, the stock market, the federal deficit,
Iraq, Afghanistan, global warming, my savings,
Social Security, credit card debt........I called
the Suicide Hotline. ... I got a call center in
Pakistan .....told them I was suicidal. They got
all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

Comments

deafjeff said…
You blew it on #1, you've never been wrong. Right?
Andrea Renee said…
It's been a while since I laughed that hard at something I read!!! LOVE this!!!
Cindy Lehnortt said…
Gave me a good laugh, so true!
Gag said…
Dam #4. I always get yelled at when i try and help out with the fitted sheet. It usually gets jumbled up in a heap and shoved in the linen closet above the nicely folded top sheet.
dacoolymoose said…
These are so freaking halarious!

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