Twenty-Nine Miles An Hour

During the Bills-Chiefs game, Tyreek Hill took off down the field and Kathy yelled out:

“My God! Catch him!”

Then she turned to me.

“Why can’t they catch him?” She asked.

“Because he’s faster than them.”

There was a report that he was going 29 mph when he scored a touchdown and actually waved ‘bye-bye’ at a guy who was ahead of him and trying to cut the angle.

Here’s the thing:

Foot speed can’t be taught.

I have a brother who ran like a deer. I run like a tortoise. He was also stronger than me so he could chase me down and then beat the hell out of me.

My boys are similar.

Jake can fly.

I’m faster than Sam, who is famous around our house for lining a single into right, (or so he thought), and getting thrown out at first.

But it’s more than that.

I mentioned to Kathy that we used to play football in my back yard as kids but it wasn’t any fun because Jeff Renaldo used to take a handoff and then score on every play because no one could, or wanted to try and tackle him.

And as fans we can’t even imagine someone kicking a 60-yard field goal, or throwing a ball 57-yards in the air, or running 30 mph.

57-yards in the air?

I would have to throw a ball 4 times to get it 57 yards downfield.

And I wonder how they would measure my foot speed..

…with a calendar?

How slow would the guy chasing me have to be going for me to wave ‘bye-bye’?

He would have to be using a walker.

In fact!!!

I did the 5k years back and I was actually passed by a man who had braces on both his legs.

My brother was running beside me, backwards, and he laughed.

“If I could catch that show off I’d kick his braces out from under him,” I said.

And I did finish that 5k in 44 minutes.

My brother and the son that can run were already back at the beer tent.

“How fast did you do it?” I asked.

They were both around the 20-minute mark.

“We’ve had 4 beers since we finished,” Jake said. “The guy with the braces had two with us before he left.”

I waved ‘bye-bye’ with a single finger.

29 mph.

That’s obscene.