You Look Like the Pope

I wasn’t even through security before I received my text from the airline.

My flight from Buffalo to Chicago was going to be delayed an hour. 

I took the news all right because I was starving! 

The Buffalo airport was clean and there weren’t a hell of a lot of people around. I filled my water bottle after dumping it out twenty feet from security (dumbest rule ever) and I started the long walk to the gate. 

I was nearly to my gate when I saw a sign:

“There are no food or beverage options beyond this point.”

What???

There were three black women beside me looking at the same sign.

“This is bullshit,” one of them said.

“So, where do we get food?” I asked.

“Back by security,” the other girl said.

We all walked all the way back. I got a freaking snickers bar! There were no other options!

I boarded the plane - just 40 of us on a huge plane! I got an exit row all to myself and the attendant came by to let us know how we needed to help if the plane went down.

“I’m willing to help,” I said, “but you might have to wake me up.”

“Oh, you’ll wake up when we hit the water,” the attendant said, and we both laughed.

As the plane took off I saw the attendant and two other attendants looking my way and laughing through their masks.

I did fall asleep and forgot all about it until we were nearly to Chicago. The same attendant stopped by.

“We were laughing because with your gray hair and dark eyes and with your mask up - this is kinda’ weird - but we decided that you look a lot like the Pope.”

“Bless you,” I said, and we both laughed.

The Pope!

In Chicago, Midway was like a ghost town! There were just two restaurants open and the line to each was long. I had enough time to finally eat.

The second plane to Kansas City was a little more crowded, but the middle seats were open.

I felt good about the travel until I arrived in Kansas on Monday.

No one here is wearing masks.

People are sitting in large groups.

At a rest stop I counted 52 people.

One was wearing a mask.

Me.

I kept thinking of Steven Van Zandt saying:

“We’re too f****ng dumb to survive this.”

I stayed to myself, kept the mask on, did my job and left.

People really should do a better job of protecting the Pope.