Teenage Years

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Went golfing with some old friends on Sunday.

It was a tough round because it was really hot, but to a man, we were all happy to be out of the house and away from our kids.

Man, we must have driven our parents crazy!

And I guess you really don't fully understand it until you have kids who want to do things no matter what you have in mind. We all ranted and raved a little about this kid or that kid and how they just don't seem to get it yet.

Looking back on it, I consider that I was a pretty easy kid to raise to an adult, but the truth of the matter is that I was just as aggravating to my parents as my kids appear to be to us.

The other morning, one of my kids joined me in the living room. I had Sports Center on and was catching the baseball highlights. This particular kid isn't really a Yankees fan but he started the conversation with:

"Beltran is actually having a pretty good year."

"He's hitting close to .290," I said.

This particular kid sat down on the couch and watched the highlights.

"At the beginning of the year they had a lot of question marks," he said. "No one thought Tex, Beltran, McCann and A-Rod were all going to have good years."

"I did," I said. "They're all good players."

"Well, I didn't," he said. "But they're going to the playoffs."

We watched the highlight of McCann hitting one out.

He was quiet.

"Say, do you think I could have a little money for the Irish Festival today?"

I almost laughed.

He was buttering me up with Yankees talk!

I thought of my Dad and the cool things that he always did for all of us. At any given time one of the kids would be suddenly flush with cash and my Mom was always wondering where we got money. The rest of the kids knew that Dad slipped a ten or a twenty to someone.

We all knew that eventually we'd get a turn.

I sent this particular kid out to retrieve my wallet.

"You can have it, but don't be stupid, you moron."

The kid laughed.

He knew that I was giving him the advice that Howard Stern's father gave to Howard.

And that's about all we can do, actually.

Hope that the morons won't be stupid.

Raising teenagers is about being broke and holding your breath as they venture out to do goofy things.

We all were there at one point or another.

Later that night this particular kid walked into the house.

I was just glad that he was back home in one piece and that he looked no worse for the wear.

"The Yankees won," I said upon seeing him.

"The Yankees suck," he said. "They're gonna' get knocked out in the wild card game."

You gotta' love 'em, right?

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