Bounce
By most accounts, I'm a good guy.
I'm not usually prone to sudden anger and can be fairly level-headed when it comes to confrontation. I can tell you the three instances when I've been angered by virtual strangers.
First.
I was walking into a Blockbuster video store, looking for a Scooby-Doo video for the kid I was holding in my arms. A man cut in front of me and swung open the door just as I was reaching for it.
The door nearly struck my young son and if not for my cat-like reflexes I would have had a bruised kid.
"Excuse me, as&h*le," I mentioned.
The guy immediately apologized, but I walked through that store completely pissed off.
He could've hurt my boy.
Cut to a few years later.
We're eating at a restaurant and two of the kids are joking with one another at the table. A nice family meeting.
Across the way a very heavy man was having dinner with his grandmother, or mother, or someone. It's not important. What is important is that he looked at my son and said very clearly:
"Shut-up!"
He told my son to shut-up!
"Mind your own business," I said.
"It takes a village to raise a kid," he said. "I'm just doing my part."
"Please just eat your dinner," I said.
He started to speak again...directly to my son.
"You say one more word and I'm going to smash your face into your pasta," I said.
That did it.
Cut to Wednesday evening.
I pulled into the driveway after a 14 hour day. My neighbor crossed the street to say 'Hello.' I'd never met the man. We chatted for a couple of minutes about my dogs and then he said this:
"Can you get your kids to play basketball somewhere else?" He asked.
I looked at the hoop that is in the center of my driveway.
"I can't stand the constant bouncing of the ball."
I just looked at the guy.
The kids don't play early in the morning or late at night. They play spirited games with their friends...and with me.
"Are you kidding me?"
"There are other courts where they can play. I hate the bounce, bounce, bounce," he said.
Don't mess with my kids.
"Listen. They're going to play basketball, in their driveway, any time they want. Now get the %$&* out of here before I bounce, bounce, bounce you back to your front door."
I thought of my Dad...or my Mom (for that matter) at that very moment.
Can you believe that guy?
I am half-tempted to go out and shoot hoops right now.
Don't ever mess with my kids!
I'm not usually prone to sudden anger and can be fairly level-headed when it comes to confrontation. I can tell you the three instances when I've been angered by virtual strangers.
First.
I was walking into a Blockbuster video store, looking for a Scooby-Doo video for the kid I was holding in my arms. A man cut in front of me and swung open the door just as I was reaching for it.
The door nearly struck my young son and if not for my cat-like reflexes I would have had a bruised kid.
"Excuse me, as&h*le," I mentioned.
The guy immediately apologized, but I walked through that store completely pissed off.
He could've hurt my boy.
Cut to a few years later.
We're eating at a restaurant and two of the kids are joking with one another at the table. A nice family meeting.
Across the way a very heavy man was having dinner with his grandmother, or mother, or someone. It's not important. What is important is that he looked at my son and said very clearly:
"Shut-up!"
He told my son to shut-up!
"Mind your own business," I said.
"It takes a village to raise a kid," he said. "I'm just doing my part."
"Please just eat your dinner," I said.
He started to speak again...directly to my son.
"You say one more word and I'm going to smash your face into your pasta," I said.
That did it.
Cut to Wednesday evening.
I pulled into the driveway after a 14 hour day. My neighbor crossed the street to say 'Hello.' I'd never met the man. We chatted for a couple of minutes about my dogs and then he said this:
"Can you get your kids to play basketball somewhere else?" He asked.
I looked at the hoop that is in the center of my driveway.
"I can't stand the constant bouncing of the ball."
I just looked at the guy.
The kids don't play early in the morning or late at night. They play spirited games with their friends...and with me.
"Are you kidding me?"
"There are other courts where they can play. I hate the bounce, bounce, bounce," he said.
Don't mess with my kids.
"Listen. They're going to play basketball, in their driveway, any time they want. Now get the %$&* out of here before I bounce, bounce, bounce you back to your front door."
I thought of my Dad...or my Mom (for that matter) at that very moment.
Can you believe that guy?
I am half-tempted to go out and shoot hoops right now.
Don't ever mess with my kids!
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