A Week On the Run

-
The prison break got me thinking about having to spend time running through the woods, trying to evade escape.

If it were me they would have found me at the end of the driveway out of the joint saying:

"I got something in my shoe."

I am not a tough guy when it comes to such stuff.

In fact, I really don't get the whole camping gig.

People work hard their whole lives to be able to buy a home where they have heat when it's cold, air conditioning when it's hot, and a soft place to lie down.

And then...

...some people buy a camper and head out into the woods.

To sleep on a smaller, harder bed.

To use a tiny toilet...or pee near a stream.

To smell like a fire.

Nope.

Never got that.

When the kids were young we used to spend a few days at a campsite near an amusement park.

I loved it because I spent a lot of time cooking with a couple of buddies. We drank a lot of beer. Told stories and laughed.

We hardly slept.

My beautiful wife didn't sleep at all.

And that's when I knew it was going to end.

She wasn't enamored with the shared showers or sleeping right beside three dopey kids.

We stopped going.

I thought about those two prisoners running through the woods in a great game of deadly hide and seek.

They were breaking into cabins.

Eating whatever they could find.

Trying to stay a step ahead.

The manhunt wouldn't have lasted very long if my wife and I had performed the daring escape.

"I haven't played Candy Crush in days," my wife would say as they re-cuffed her.

"My back and legs are killing me," I'd mention.

"You only made it 40 feet," the cop would answer.

Back to our cells.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Suits

-
Like a lot of other people we got pulled into the series, ‘Suits’ on Netflix. I’ve never had much fun hanging around lawyers who have questioned me as a construction safety officer. I once testified in a case where the opposing lawyer started questioning me by going through my educational background. “So,” he said, racing to a crescendo, “You graduated from college with a degree in Communications-Journalism and suddenly, 30 years later, you’re a ‘safety expert.’” He actually made the quotation marks with his fingers. I just looked at him. “How does that happen?” He bellowed, sure that he was going to discredit me. “Well,” I said. “I knew I was overqualified to become a lawyer.” The courtroom erupted in laughter. Even the judge chuckled. The rest of his questions landed flat. So, I wasn’t all that keen on a show about lawyers, but ‘Suits’ is great. Meghan Markle became a princess because of the show, and she is very good in it (and a beautiful woman). Yet, there is so much more. The wri
Read more

My Buddy, Dave

-
Way back in 1997, I started working with a steel erection company out of Syracuse. I was coming straight from a long stint with a steel erector here in Buffalo so I knew my stuff when it came to steel erection safety rules. On day one, I met with the safety director and he was just getting started as a safety guy, but man, he certainly cared about the guys he worked with. Dave was a good man from the start. He’d say things like: “You’re so full of beans.” Just a down to earth, hardworking guy who became a fast friend. We drove all around New York State setting up jobs. I always let Dave drive so that I could rest. One fine day, way up North of Syracuse, we passed a state trooper.  I glanced at the speedometer. “You’re screwed,” I said, and seconds later, the lights came on. Dave was beside himself.  The cop stopped by the window, grabbed the license and registration and headed back to his vehicle. “Here’s the thing,” I said. “You’re pissed, but you’re such a good guy that I bet you tha
Read more

Mom & Ollie

-
Image
 Ollie Stadium is a mess. The heavy rains rendered the backyard a mud pit and even though we threw in the side yard, the Big O was looking for more, and we were both covered in mud. I had to take some steam out of him somehow so I suggested we go visit Grandma. Ollie hates the car, but he laid quietly as we made the trip. We even brought the football because there is plenty of room to play at Grandma’s. Mom opened the door and started laughing. I thought about the love she had for every single dog we ever had. Oliver was quick to give my Mom a kiss, and then he stood beside her. The love between Mom and Dogs is a mutual bond. Through the years, Mom would make breakfast for the dogs.  Fried eggs, toast, bacon… She would wrap Christmas gifts for them. “To Jeter, Love Santa,” she would write on the cards. They played with the big chicken that made a lot of noise. Mom tossed the football and Ollie brought it back to her. As the visit drew to a close I headed for the door.  “C’mon, Oliver,”
Read more