Wife Bonus

There's a book making the rounds, written by an Upper East Side of New York wife.

The author, who many are saying made up everything and called it true, claims that women get paid a bonus for doing such things as:

Taking care of the kids.

Keeping the house clean.

And

Making love to their husbands.

Seems to me that this story makes the rounds every few years and there are a whole bunch of social media twists on it that say a stay-at-home-Mom would earn a salary of about 100 G's a year if all her tasks were broken down.

Dopey.

As luck might have it I've discovered the Jenny McCarthy show on satellite radio and good old Jenny chimed in on the subject, also figuring that the bonus plan was a little weird.

These women, with their husbands usually make a decision on a family, right?

How do you think it's going to go in such a situation?

The man isn't going to stay home...pregnant...for obvious reasons.

And Upper East Side?

Don't most of these women have nannies and housekeepers and gardeners?

What's the bonus for then?

Breast-feeding?

Watching Kelly & Michael?

Just the sex?

Wouldn't that make them prostitutes?

I also saw a social media joke the other day that said:

If I have $20 and my wife has $5 then...

...my wife has $25.


That's about it around here.

Most of the guys I know don't really care all that much about amassing large sums of money for ourselves. We like to have a little pocket money and then we turn the rest over.

It usually works better that way.

Sam asked me one day:

"What's the secret to a good marriage?"

"Buy them an I-pad, give them all your money and then shut your freaking mouth," I said.

Sam laughed.

Kathy nodded.

The daily tasks do get tiresome...

...What do you want for dinner?

...The rugs need to be vacuumed.

... The dog puked in the basement.

...The garbage has to go to the road.

We all try and split up most of them.

We don't really keep score.

There aren't any bonuses going out.

Because the money all goes to one pocket anyway.

And the rest of us are beggars.

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