Vital Stats: Two Dead

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I knew that this day would come and yet it is as nauseating as I imagined it to be.

Ray Lewis is a sure-fire, First-Ballot, Hall of Famer, the guy on ESPN gushed.

He was responsible for 50 turnovers and no one ever hit harder.

He was also at least partially responsible for two dead people.

In fact, he was convicted in the deaths and paid money to both victims families, but in the biggest joke of all-time, he was charged only with a misdemeanor.

And then it was hardly ever mentioned again.

Did you know they never found the white suit that Lewis was wearing that night?

I wanted to scream that at the guy who was gushing:

Ray Lewis is a superb football player, a great Christian and a supreme human being.

I'm not kidding one of the ass-kissers was actually saying that!

A supreme human being??????

What is wrong with us?

Why was that man the face of football?

Why didn't they ever mention the victims again?

We all know Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman, but quick, who were the two men stabbed to death as Lewis and his cohorts raised away from the scene in their limo in what is presumed to be a quickly-turning-pink-white suit?

Lewis doesn't talk about it. He claims that he had nothing to do with the actual murders, other than standing around while it happened, presumably getting blood on his threads, and then lying to the cops who came by.

He is a great family man who adopted Jesus Christ as his Lord & Savior. He's done so much good for the youth in the Baltimore area.

Yeah, Bundy and Gacy believed in God too, after they were caught. Every guy in prison finds the Lord.

To ease their conscience.

I don't know. Maybe I'm just thinking too much into this, but do you know that Lewis was the only one convicted in the deaths, and that he offered to talk about who really did it, but he never has?

O.J. is still looking for the real killers too.

Yet what gets me isn't that he got away with a double-murder because the victims were not 'first-class' citizens.

It's just that he is now getting his big ass kissed all over the world.

A supreme human being?

He made about a billion dollars running into other people.

Go to the Hall of Fame.

O.J. is there.

I hope they put you two side-by-side because after 2000 there was only one stat that mattered to me.

Two dead.

Where's the white suit?

They should use it for your plaque.

Comments

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05 January, 2013
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