Ryan Fraud

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Ryan Braun won the NL MVP last year. He's a good-looking guy with a deadly swing. He makes about twenty million dollars a year for hitting a ball with a bat.

The guy who collected his urine last October is a health care professional who will remain anonymous...all his life. He has a family, a bunch of coworkers and his own professional integrity but they don't give regular guys awards so we don't know how valuable he is.

Our regular guy had a job to do back in October. He collected urine from 3 Brewers players, put it away, placed seal-resistant tape on the samples, and since it was after 5 on Saturday, FOLLOWED MLB protocol by bringing the samples home and storing them in a cool place until he could FED EX them to the lab on Monday morning...which he did.

One of the 3 samples came back high for levels of things that allow you to win MVP trophies.

The story leaked. Ryan Fraud went nuts. There was an explanation!

He would be declared innocent!

Uh, hardly.

You know what the explanation was?

It was a technicality. The sample wasn't immediately driven to the lab. The sample was stored improperly.

That's not an explanation.

That's a slick lawyer avoiding the truth.

So they dragged a poor, working slob's good name through the mud to save the word, and the millions of the guy who tested high in the first place.

It comes out as a case of Braun versus this poor guy who had nothing to gain out of it.

Guess who won...Ryan Fraud.

I was real happy when the working stiff stood up for himself the other day. He wrote out a statement that said...tamper-resistant seals were not resisted with. He also let all of the slick-talking lawyers know that he did what he was supposed to do.

Ryan Fraud didn't.

Like Mark McGwire he accepted all of the glory under false pretenses. He didn't care who or what got in the way. He's Ryan Fraud, for crying out loud! and you're not!

I don't wish injury on people, but with the season getting ready to go, perhaps I'll use an old Showbiz expression:

Break a leg, Ryan.

Comments

Anonymous said…
My son had a standing comment upon coming in from golf practice when he first started playing. Mind you he would hit balls out into the hay field with its very own set of waterways. "Mom, I lost my balls" tongue in cheek. Ryan take a hint
10 March, 2012
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