Just Thank the Lord

This is a lonely old weekend. Another anniversary of another shitty day...the shittiest actually. Three years since Jeff was here. Three years. Seems like ten minutes.

The downhearted mood began on Friday morning...thoughts of my brother blasting through a tired brain and tired body.

My heart ached for the kid who shot the other kids.

Yeah, it ached for the shooter!

When I saw him being huddled into the courtroom to be charged, and listened to the story of his life that led to the pain in that Ohio town, I ached for him because he committed the worst of all human acts.

"They should shoot him in the public square," a guy on one of the jobs mentioned.

"He's a little boy," I said. "A little boy who had no chance in life. He never knew how to live."

"Crucify him for all the other troubled little boys to see," the man argued.

And I drove away.

Awash in the heartache.

But a funny thing happened on the way to the carnival of self-pity. For one, a friend reached out to me and we talked about our wives, our kids, and our jobs, and we laughed.

Then I heard the reworked Land of Hopes and Dreams from Bruce's new CD and the song went to fade with Bruce cajoling the audience to Just get on board the train that carries losers and winners, whores and gamblers...people get ready.

Except he added a few words at the end:

You just thank the Lord.

He sings it as if resigned to the fact that it all amounts to that after all the spit and anger and bitterness and heartache.

You just thank the Lord.

And a cloud of despair lifted from my heart and soul because it's easy to forget and miserable to travel the road alone.

I don't thump the Bible. I don't beat the drum of my beliefs for you to assess.

But once in awhile, my human-hindered eyes are brought alive with the realization that the bad times come and go whether I want them to or not.

The dogs jumped for me at the end of the day.

I traded text messages with my sister.

My mind went relaxed.

All the pain sliding off of me.

There's a great Clarence sax solo at the end of the song, just before Bruce asks us to remember to:

Just thank the Lord.

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