Her Name was Ann, But I'll Be Damned If I Can Recall Her Face

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That's a Gordon Lightfoot lyric from Carefree Highway...great song.

I thought of it the other night because I passed Matt in the hallway after I finished working. Kathy had taken Jake and Sam to baseball and since I was late, I missed the game. Matt hadn't been around for dinner, so I was surprised to see him there.

"What're you doing?" I asked.

He whispered his answer. "I'm going to watch a movie."

"Why the hell are you whispering?" I asked.

Then it hit me. He missed dinner because he'd taken a girl out. Evidently, she was now in my house, preparing to watch a movie.

The girl was as nervous as Matt as I walked by where she was seated.

"Hi," I said.

She smiled back.

About ten different girls entered my mind. Girls that I knew in college, or high school, or hell even grammar school. Girls who were now middle-aged women with kids of their own. Some who'd been through failed marriages, loser boyfriends, the entire shebang.

Wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then.

The clutter has been driving me crazy lately. I'm talking certifiable. I haven't written anything new. I haven't golfed well.

I decided to clean up my golf bag. Halfway through the task, I decided to scrap the bag and go to Dick's Sporting Goods.

The long-standing joke around our house was when my beautiful wife once said, "I'm going to Dick's for balls."

My boys started laughing. I just joined in. I swear.

Anyway, her name was 'Ann and I'll be damned if I can recall her face'.

I thought of the past girls in my life. You couldn't call any of them girlfriends because I was too strange to pull that off. But they all meant something to me.

I grabbed a new golf bag and yes, some new balls (golf balls). I was out of the house for awhile and when I headed back down the street I saw Matt's car coming the other way. I forced him to the shoulder, where he had no way of getting by me.

He rolled his window down. I could tell that he was afraid that I'd embarrass him with the girl in the car.

"Where you going?" I asked.

"I'm taking her home," he said.

He waited and waited for the wise-ass remark.

"Have a good time," I said, and I let him pass.

I spent the next hour cleaning up my old golf balls. A little less clutter.

I told my buddy Jeff about the new bag.

"I even washed my balls," I said, feeding him the line.

"I thought I smelled swamp ass," he answered.

Human wheels spin round and round.

Help the light find my face.

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