A Brand New Man

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Of course, everyone who really knows me understands that I'm a very snappy dresser.

I'm meticulous about the clothes I wear and whether or not they are stain-free, or wrinkle-free. I have a hard time stepping out of the house if everything isn't just perfect.

Truth be told:

That is the biggest lie I've ever told on this blog.

I'm a mess. Oscar Madison would certainly laugh at me and my piss-poor sense of fashion.

Yet yesterday even I had had enough. Two days ago my favorite pair of jeans developed a hole in the crotch area. There are a couple of jokes there about the fabric never standing a chance against size, or what-have-you, but I'll leave it mostly alone.

I still wore them.

That night, I threw them out.

The next day, another pair of jeans developed a nice split in another area. Again, we can talk about size being the problem...

So I did something I never do.

I stopped at a store and I bought some new clothes.

Let me tell you...I'm a little lost without the mustard stains, the rips, and the dirt.

I'm certain that as I sit here, in my new shirt and jeans, that some people who I see every day will not recognize me today.

By tomorrow, I should be all right as I will have a few meals in these clothes, but for one day, at least, I feel like a brand new man.

Incidentally, my beautiful wife used to stop the train before it went down the derelict path.

No more. I seem to be on my own now.

In either regard. Check me out.

I'm styling.

Remember!

Only a couple of days to see the stain-free stuff.

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