Television Weather People

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Yesterday, in between gushing over the photos of the Royal Wedding, I considered the people who do the weather on television.

It seems that they bother me.

And by the way, I couldn't give two poops about Kate and William. Didn't we gush over Diana and that dork too?

Anyhow, let's check in with the meterologist....

First off, meterologist. Are you kidding me? You know what I want from my weatherman? Two freaking words: Either, "It sucks," or "It's good."

That's it. I don't need the playful banter between the anchor and the weather person as though the rain is the fault of the guy or gal standing in front of the map. Then he/she banters back about how it's not his fault, and they all laugh.

Every freaking newscast.

Then if it's nice, the weather person takes credit.

"Look at all the sunshine I brought you!"

"Keep it coming!"

And the maps. They tell me about the fact that they have the lastest technology and that I should be reading a Doppler map by following the arrows that turn pink, blue or green.

You're the meterologist, you read it.

This week there were some high winds that led to a tornado sighting about 200 miles from here. The veteran weather guy that I was watching was speaking with the urgency reserved for a tsunami strike. He was pointing this way and that teaching me about the rotational spins that he, and only he, had discovered in a town in freaking Pennsylvania where about six people live.

I personally hate every weather guy on every station in every town, everywhere.

"Uh, oh, Kevin, we have to keep that weather away from here," the anchor said.

"I'm doing my best, Mary Alice," Kevin said. "I'm trying to bring us sunshine for the weekend."

Ha, ha,ha,ha,ha,ha freaking ha!

Yet what is really special is when the regular weather person isn't in. They always start the newscast by telling us:

"Kevin is off tonight!"

Isn't that special? Do you have a job where they announce that you're missing when you have a vacation day?

"Before you ask me anything please know that Cliff isn't here today."

I don't care that Kevin is off, just send me to the incompetent boob that is taking his place.

And this is where the real fun begins. The sub weather person tries to sound like the seasoned meterologist and ends up standing in front of the map in the wrong position, blubbering through the names of the town, trying to tell me about rotational spins while spinning around and nearly falling on their ass.

And then they try the banter with the anchor.

"Perhaps we have to wait until Kevin gets back before the friggin' sun comes out."

"Oh, I don't want to wait," Mary Alice says.

Ha, ha,ha,ha,ha,ha freaking ha!

I don't know, maybe I'm too touchy on the subject. Perhaps it's because when it's all said and done the weather person is usually wrong anyway.

My granparents always hung on every single word of the weather person. Perhaps that is what happens as you get older. I don't think I'll be paying a lot of attention to it. In fact, here's the weather report for today.

"It's good."

"Thanks for the sunshine, Cliff."

Ha, ha,ha,ha,ha,ha freaking ha!

Comments

John said…
I only watch for the incompetent sub with the boobs. Is that what you meant to say?
30 April, 2011
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