Four in the Morning

There was an old Night Ranger song (remember them) that went like this: Four in the morning came without a warning.

Not exactly Edgar Allan Poe, but the clock just changed to 4:00 and my plans for the day are going to have to change. You see, I've been working all along with the recovering knee, but it barked so loudly an hour ago that I woke up, checked the baseball box scores and put on TBS where Ben Stiller is doing dumb things in a senseless movie. So, I'm wide awake...thinking about changing my plans for the day.

The first thing I thought about was the days gone by when four in the morning came without a warning. The good old days when I was hanging with buddies, drinking beer, laughing, and then stumbling home. At the age of 20 we all could do things like that then get up and go to work. By noon we were talking about going out again. Youth is surely wasted on the young.

This morning, with the rain tapping on the eaves I'm thinking of all sorts of things. Mostly I'm considering what I've lost, but life doesn't allow you enough time to linger too much. The pain of life has to show itself in little windows of time...and it must be forgotten long enough to move forward despite the holes. Four in the morning, with no warning.

And for some reason the night of my 30th birthday popped into my mind. My buddy Jeff Renaldo invited me for a drink that night, but also asked me to help him move a dryer at my other buddy John's home. I remember being annoyed. When we got to John's I spotted my brother Jeff and sister Carrie cowering together in the back corner of the garage. I was too stupid to put two and two together.

"What are you two doing?" I asked.
"You caught us making out," Jeff said.

We all laughed. Then Jeff covered the lie by saying John had also asked him for help. So, we all headed to the basement where everyone yelled surprise, and we stayed up until four in the morning, drinking and laughing.

Why do random moments come rushing back?

To keep you sane, you know?

Physical pain is one thing, right? There will certainly be pain-free days around the corner. A couple of more weeks, perhaps. But the emotional pain doesn't really ever go away, does it.

Sometimes it just rears its ugly head at four in the morning.

Without any warning.

To all my readers...more promotion of Oh Brother! Please. I was able to send some of the profits to Johnny, Farrah and Rocco. They sent me back a few of the photos holding toys that they bought.

I found a moment of pure happiness in looking at their smiling faces.

Everyone in the world should know about their beautiful Dad.

Life seems unfair at 4 am...no wonder I spent those other 4 am morning experiences in the bar.

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