Sabres Playoff Prediction

The above photo shows Craig Ramsey's Stanley Cup ring on my wife's finger. Rammer got the ring when he wasn't a member of the Sabres organization.

Game 1 - Philadelphia 2 Buffalo 1

A tight-checking game turns in Philly's favor with exactly 5 minutes left when a fluttering shot from the blue line eludes Ryan Miller and ends up on the top shelf where the freaking cookies are hidden. After the game Miller explains, "Our defensemen can't allow them to have clear shots at me. I'm the greatest goalie in the world, but I can't stop those knuckleballs. They're tricky." Lindy Ruff adds that the Sabres have to play for 60 minutes. Jason Pominville says that they only came to Philly to win one anyway.

Game 2 - Buffalo 4 Philly 3 - Series Tied 1-1

Nathan Gerbe scores all four goals and wonders where his teammates Vanek and Connelly have gone. "I miss them," he says. A laugher of a game by the Sabres was nail-biting at the end because Ryan Miller let in two goals with under five minutes left and nearly cost his team the game when he tripped over the slip he was wearing under his uniform. "I had a fashion show right after the game," Miller sheepishly replied. "We played for 60 minutes," Ruff said. "We won one in Philly," Pominville said. "Now we get to go back to Buffalo and our great fans."

Game 3 - Philly 3 Buffalo 2 - 3 ot's

Buffalo comes storming out and Gerbe scores twice in the first 8 minutes. In the 2nd period, however, Chris Pronger dislocates Gerbe's melon and sends it into the 200 level. Sabres announcers are screaming for a penalty and Gerbe is out for the series in what is determined to be an upper body injury. Pronger ties the game with exactly five minutes left when a floater from just inside the blue line eludes a falling Ryan Miller. "I don't know how many times I have to tell the guys that defensemen can't be left alone to shoot at me from that distance." The game winner comes from Danny Briere who is fed the puck by Miller in a clearing attempt. "It wasn't my fault," Miller said. "I tripped over my goalie stick when I was trying to get back in goal. I'm still the best goalie in the world." Ruff says that the Sabres have to play for 120 minutes. Pominville says the Sabres will be ready for game four if they can find Vanek and Timmy.

Game 4 - Buffalo 7 Philly 0 - Series tied 2-2

Tyler Ennis scores all 7 goals and wishes Gerbe a speedy recovery from his decapitation. Enroth makes 51 saves in place of Miller who surprisingly missed the game with hurt feelings. "Millsie is our number one," Ruff says after the game. "He's the greatest goalie in the world. Enroth is okay." Pominville says it's great the team played for 60 minutes.

Game 5 - Buffalo 2 Philly 1 - overtime - Buffalo leads 3-2

Buffalo nursed a 1-0 lead, goal scored by Kaleta when it bounced in off his ass as he was beating up the goalie, until late in the 3rd period when Ryan Miller gave up a goal to Danny Briere with exactly five minutes left. The shot was a point-blank, 100-footer that beat Miller to the short-side. "It hit the blue line and changed directions," Miller says. "Even the greatest goalie in the world can't stop that." The Sabres get the game-winner on a five-on-three powerplay when Mike Grier chips one in after a feed from Bill Hajt, who dressed in Gerbe's place because of the decapitation. "We hope to get Nathan back for the next series," Ruff says.

Game 6 - Philly 4 Buffalo 0 - Series Tied 3-3

Buffalo can't get any offense going because Stafford, Connelly, Hect, and Vanek can't be found. Ruff can't understand it. "They are really good in practice." Miller lets in 3 goals on the first four shots of the game and the fans start chanting for Enroth. After the fourth goal, from center ice, on a clear-in attempt, Ruff pulls Millsie to fire up the team. "If they aren't going to play well in front of me, I can't help them," a weeping Miller says in the locker room after the game.

Game 7 - A winner is decided

The game is everything a hockey playoff game can be. Kaleta fights the ghost of Fred Shero between periods. Pegula brings all the former Sabres to Philly for the game and Christian Ruutu is seen giving advice on goal scoring to Thomas Vanek. Larry Playfair kicks the shit out of Mike Robitaille when an argument starts over who is dumber. On the ice, Danny Briere scores twice in the first period and then donates half his salary to the Women & Children's Hospital of Buffalo. He is still booed loudly by Sabres fans watching back home. The Sabres come roaring back when Thomas Vanek scores to tie it with three minutes left. Sabres fans back in Buffalo cheer him and call him a real superstar who performs when the game is on the line. It's his first goal of the series.

In overtime, Miller is extremely sharp and the announcers are calling out, "Miiiiiiillllllleeeeerrrrr!"

The 2nd overtime is extremely long and boring as neither team registers a shot.

The 3rd overtime ends with Buffalo on another five-on-three power play and the giddy announcers are talking about who will net the game winner.

With exactly five minutes left in the fourth overtime Tyler Myers trips over his stick, but is able to get a glove on the puck in an attempt to pass it back to Ryan Miller so it can be held for a face-off. The puck flutters over Miller's right shoulder and hits the back of the net.

Danny Briere gets credit for the goal.

Kristin owes me dinner.

Ruff says that they would have won the cup if they hadn't lost.

Pominville talks about playing a full 160 minutes.

Gerbe makes a surprise appearance in the locker room after the game and bitch-slaps Connelly.

Reiger announces that Connelly has been signed to a new five-year deal.

Miller weeps softly at his locker, wipes his face with his blouse, and says, "Please print that I'm the best."

Philly goes on to get swept by Boston in Round 2.