Kelly Ripa Save Me!
Every day over the course of the last week I've watched Regis and Kelly from 9 am to 10 am. I don't believe that I ever saw the show more than once leading to this week.
While Kelly Ripa is no Kathy Fazzolari, she's certainly an attractive, funny woman, and lately I've started looking forward to catching up with her daily antics.
Today they debuted a wax figure of her on the show and I found myself wondering how I could get the lifestyle wax figure into our home.
Cut to the early afternoon. I had visited a job meeting and was preparing my ice pack as Kathy began preparing dinner. Fried potatoes and cube steaks. Very nice.
We began a conversation as I filled a couple of bags with ice, and I said, "Come on upstairs for a minute, we can continue the conversation."
I just wanted to lie down.
Moments later, we were talking about the day when Sam called out.
"Something's burning here!"
I thought about the cube steak turning into a piece of leather. Still Kathy headed down the stairs without too much urgency.
A second later she was screaming. "Help! Fire! There's a Fire!"
I jumped from the bed.
"Hurry up! Now! Run!" she yelled.
Uhhhh, run?
"Oh my God! oh my God! oh my God!
"Smother it with a towel," I said.
It was too late. She threw the pan into the sink and turned the water on the grease fire, not fully expecting the flash.
Thankfully, the water doused the fire, but the screaming continued.
"All right, relax, open the windows," I said.
"Why didn't you hurry?" Kathy asked.
I pointed to my knee. "Did the best I could do."
We have a charred ceiling and melted curtains. The smoke has cleared, but for one reason or another all I could think of was the wax figure of Kelly Ripa.
It would have melted in the fire.
Right next to me, the guy who fell down the stairs trying to flee the building.
You know, I don't even remember what we were talking about.
While Kelly Ripa is no Kathy Fazzolari, she's certainly an attractive, funny woman, and lately I've started looking forward to catching up with her daily antics.
Today they debuted a wax figure of her on the show and I found myself wondering how I could get the lifestyle wax figure into our home.
Cut to the early afternoon. I had visited a job meeting and was preparing my ice pack as Kathy began preparing dinner. Fried potatoes and cube steaks. Very nice.
We began a conversation as I filled a couple of bags with ice, and I said, "Come on upstairs for a minute, we can continue the conversation."
I just wanted to lie down.
Moments later, we were talking about the day when Sam called out.
"Something's burning here!"
I thought about the cube steak turning into a piece of leather. Still Kathy headed down the stairs without too much urgency.
A second later she was screaming. "Help! Fire! There's a Fire!"
I jumped from the bed.
"Hurry up! Now! Run!" she yelled.
Uhhhh, run?
"Oh my God! oh my God! oh my God!
"Smother it with a towel," I said.
It was too late. She threw the pan into the sink and turned the water on the grease fire, not fully expecting the flash.
Thankfully, the water doused the fire, but the screaming continued.
"All right, relax, open the windows," I said.
"Why didn't you hurry?" Kathy asked.
I pointed to my knee. "Did the best I could do."
We have a charred ceiling and melted curtains. The smoke has cleared, but for one reason or another all I could think of was the wax figure of Kelly Ripa.
It would have melted in the fire.
Right next to me, the guy who fell down the stairs trying to flee the building.
You know, I don't even remember what we were talking about.
Comments