Wide Angle Lens, Please!

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So we have another major scandal on our hands with a famous married man and a very young reporter. You know I love these.

Brett Favre is accused of sending voicemails and text messages to a pretty, young sideline reporter. Allegedly one of the photos he sent along was a snapshot of his, (uh, I hate when I have to search for a word) 'peaker'.

Why did I spell it 'peaker'?

One time Kathy and I were watching a movie and unbeknownst to us, Jake snuck into the room. The punchline of a joke that we both laughed at contained the word 'pecker'.

When I noticed Jake I ushered him from the room, and he asked me why I laughed at the joke. I tried to give a lame answer, but he wasn't buying it. Finally he asked, "Dad, what's a peaker?"

So, around our house we refer to 'it' as a peaker.

Anywho, back to our regularly scheduled blog. Here are the facts.

1). The girl is pretty. No Kathy Fazzolari, mind you, but attractive enough. They always are. And that's the point...there are a million pretty girls out there. None of them want to be texted a shot of your peaker and if they do...they really aren't that special.

2). I couldn't, wouldn't shouldn't dream of texting a photo of my peaker to anyone. First off, I don't know how to work the wide angle lens on my camera...

(Okay, to be honest, I wrote the whole blog just to get that joke in there).

3). Favre's wife survived cancer. He has been cheered from coast-to-coast. He has more money in his couch cushions than all of us will ever see. Doesn't it cross his mind to have a little restraint?

4). People are claiming that the reporter is not the victim in the story, but the one who started all the trouble. I heard one man on the radio claiming that she stands on the sidelines showing cleavage and her butt cheeks, so she gets what she gets when men advance on her.

Let me ask you something. If I showed off my plumber's crack and my man-breasts, would you feel comfortable sending me a shot of your peaker?

It would be an unwelcome advance.

So there we are. I don't really give a crap, honestly. I just needed to work a couple of jokes in there.

At the end of the day its just another dumb jock story and a damsel in distress.

I do know that if I did something like that Kathy would take my phone away, and it would be a long, long time till the old peaker saw the light of day.

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