Bathroom Break Please!
One of the candidates for governor of New York got up in the middle of one of the other candidates closing remarks to run off to the bathroom.
"You gotta'go, you gotta' go."
Being as that I am older now - I can sympathize. There are times when I go looking for a bathroom, wondering if I can just pull over and hit the construction toilet on the side of the road.
Yet, for the most part, I am able to control where and when I have to go.
Like everyone else I like the home field advantage. My own toilet is comfortable. I know where everything is, and I know how well the door locks. It has to be an extreme emergency to use an unfamiliar bathroom.
Like the bathroom at the Cracker Barrel restaurant.
About a month ago I went with friends to the restaurant for breakfast, and there was a man doing his business in the small stall beside the urinal. The place stunk to high heaven and there were sounds of an animal coming from under the half door.
The man just had to be embarrassed. I imagined an emergency situation. How else can you explain having to go to the bathroom when you're just stepping out for breakfast.
Unfortunately, I immediately thought of my brother Jeff, and what he might do in such a situation.
Why the hell not?
Embarrass the guy!
"Oh geez," I said loud enough for the guy to hear over the noises he was making. "Someone ate rat for breakfast!"
And despite the fact that I was alone, I giggled.
I could almost see the poor guy cowering in shame on his side of the wall.
In my mind I high-fived my brother and made my way back to the table, laughing all the way. As luck might have it, I had a good seat, and I kept my eye on the men's room door.
A middle-aged, slightly overweight balding man exited the bathroom and searched the faces of the patrons as if he could tell who said it.
It wasn't funny anymore. That poor guy could have been me, and that would have been a horrible embarrassment.
Ah, I'm just kidding, I laughed my ass off all the way home.
"You gotta'go, you gotta' go."
Being as that I am older now - I can sympathize. There are times when I go looking for a bathroom, wondering if I can just pull over and hit the construction toilet on the side of the road.
Yet, for the most part, I am able to control where and when I have to go.
Like everyone else I like the home field advantage. My own toilet is comfortable. I know where everything is, and I know how well the door locks. It has to be an extreme emergency to use an unfamiliar bathroom.
Like the bathroom at the Cracker Barrel restaurant.
About a month ago I went with friends to the restaurant for breakfast, and there was a man doing his business in the small stall beside the urinal. The place stunk to high heaven and there were sounds of an animal coming from under the half door.
The man just had to be embarrassed. I imagined an emergency situation. How else can you explain having to go to the bathroom when you're just stepping out for breakfast.
Unfortunately, I immediately thought of my brother Jeff, and what he might do in such a situation.
Why the hell not?
Embarrass the guy!
"Oh geez," I said loud enough for the guy to hear over the noises he was making. "Someone ate rat for breakfast!"
And despite the fact that I was alone, I giggled.
I could almost see the poor guy cowering in shame on his side of the wall.
In my mind I high-fived my brother and made my way back to the table, laughing all the way. As luck might have it, I had a good seat, and I kept my eye on the men's room door.
A middle-aged, slightly overweight balding man exited the bathroom and searched the faces of the patrons as if he could tell who said it.
It wasn't funny anymore. That poor guy could have been me, and that would have been a horrible embarrassment.
Ah, I'm just kidding, I laughed my ass off all the way home.
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