The Roadside Carnival

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Well, I run that hard road out of heartbreak city, built a road side carnival out of hurt and self pity. It was all wrong, well, now I'm moving on.

It's kind of funny, but I remember listening to Bruce's Real World on the way to my wedding and thinking that it's a couple of really well written sentences on the way to a great song, followed by a wonderful album in an incredible career.

In the context of my marriage it has been an incredible revelation of what I needed to find...and did.

Last night I took a couple of Tylenol PM's after sleeping lousy for a couple of nights and dreamed of my brother, standing right beside me, hand outstretched, laughing...laughing...laughing...

...Always laughing.

Woke up with the lyrics on my mind...

I run that hard road out of heartbreak city, built a road side carnival out of hurt and self pity.

Hurt and self pity... it was all wrong... I can buy that.

Now I'm moving on??????

Can't buy it.

Not yet, Brucester....

Yet where does the roadside carnival lead?

And don't get me wrong, it's been a carnival of holding on, kidding myself, laughing in spite of myself, hold,hold, hold, let go, hold, hold, hold....

... so unfathomable...

Hurt and self pity...

God will see you through?

Me and God not on speaking terms yet...

Suck it up and tough it out and do the best you can?

The motto of my life thus far?

Suck what up?

Injustice? Something incomprehensible?

Step on by and watch the roadside carnival.

Hurt...hurt...hurt...self pity...self pity...self pity...

Still battling.

Tough day.

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