I'm Down For At Least Four of Them

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Running through a few perverted texts with a buddy...I erase all texts because I don't want anyone to ever see them...I can only hope they are gone and not stored somewhere in texting land...

Anyway, we ended up talking of the seven deadly sins. Lust, pride, anger, envy, gluttony, greed and sloth.

We traded barbs back and forth and it was decided that the bar better be set low for the induction into heaven...because...

Gluttony and sloth. I have linguini and clam sauce coming up in a couple of hours. If eating that like a slob is a sin, and then vegging out in front of the Yankee game is a sloth-like move...I'm screwed. oh for two.

Anger? I can get angry over the darndest things. When the ump called a check swing on Swisher without checking with the third base ump I almost went through the television. "I'd like to choke that fat bastard!" I yelled. Jeter lined a double to score two, but if they'd have lost that game. Zero for three. I have anger covered.

Lust? I don't need to go to school to repress my sexual conquests but that's only because there aren't a line of women waiting on me. My lust is evident, but is certainly controlled by the women surrounding me that show very little interest. Still, when the mood is right, I'm nothing outta four.

Envy? Greed? I kind of lump these two together. I don't want much in the way of material things. I never needed the best car, best clothes (go figure) or best anything...I don't really envy and I'm definitely not greedy. So there - two out of six in the win column.

Pride? Now there's a tricky one, I suppose. Awful hard not to be proud when you're as wonderful as me, but I control it most of the time.

(I don't care who you are - that there is funny).

I'm going to put that one in the win column. I'm not quite sure if there is a counter but I'm not getting into heaven with only two of seven so I need to sneak pride to my side.

What do you think? Can I make it?

I know the buddy who was texting me is in about the same boat.

The hell with it, I'll ride with him. I have my bags packed to go either way.

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