Love Bites
Man, I'm pretty sure that the way I want to go doesn't have anything to do with having my face ripped off by a 200-pound Internet surfing, wine-drinking chimp who happens to be hopped-up on Xanax.
When reading the particulars of that story it certainly occurs to me that you can take an animal out of the jungle, but that doing so is absolutely risky business. Look at that poor bastard who was attacked by the Lion in the Vegas show a few years back. I saw an interview with him after the attack and he said that he still loves the lion.
I was attacked by our family dog back when I was about 18-years old - it was a boxer mix that was an absolutely wonderful dog until he got hit by a car and something was knocked loose - he bit me after I had the gall to interrupt the dump he was taking in the middle of our garage. All right, maybe I had it coming to me - I'd probably be pissed if someone interrupted me in such a state -but let me tell you, that dog ripped me up. He went for my throat but I got my left arm up in time to take the seven hundred rapid fire bites on my forearm.
My mother watched the attack and tried to stop the assault by using a whiffle ball bat on his ass. The dog just kept coming until my brother John was able to distract him.
As I look down on the scars that remain, I remember all of the angst I felt when it was deemed that the dog was a danger to all of us. I had sang to that dog for crying out loud!
The media is having a field day with the chimp story. It has all the elements of sensationalistic journalism, but it has also left one critically injured person in the wake.
Animals are animals - they may only be domesticated so far. Even if your chimp likes to throw back an occasional Zinfandel, you better keep close watch or you're liable to regret it.
When reading the particulars of that story it certainly occurs to me that you can take an animal out of the jungle, but that doing so is absolutely risky business. Look at that poor bastard who was attacked by the Lion in the Vegas show a few years back. I saw an interview with him after the attack and he said that he still loves the lion.
I was attacked by our family dog back when I was about 18-years old - it was a boxer mix that was an absolutely wonderful dog until he got hit by a car and something was knocked loose - he bit me after I had the gall to interrupt the dump he was taking in the middle of our garage. All right, maybe I had it coming to me - I'd probably be pissed if someone interrupted me in such a state -but let me tell you, that dog ripped me up. He went for my throat but I got my left arm up in time to take the seven hundred rapid fire bites on my forearm.
My mother watched the attack and tried to stop the assault by using a whiffle ball bat on his ass. The dog just kept coming until my brother John was able to distract him.
As I look down on the scars that remain, I remember all of the angst I felt when it was deemed that the dog was a danger to all of us. I had sang to that dog for crying out loud!
The media is having a field day with the chimp story. It has all the elements of sensationalistic journalism, but it has also left one critically injured person in the wake.
Animals are animals - they may only be domesticated so far. Even if your chimp likes to throw back an occasional Zinfandel, you better keep close watch or you're liable to regret it.
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