Alfie

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All right then - still not quite feeling chipper, but I'd be remiss if I didn't reflect on the story of the 12-year-old knocking up his 15-year-old girlfriend.

Alfie was explaining that there are other guys laying claim to having slept with the love of his life, but that the baby had his eyes, and anyone else having planted their flag, so to speak, is a damn liar.

The girl explained that their physical relationship started out of a deep love for one another, and an unbelievable urge to take their relationship to another level.

Are you kidding me? At 13 I didn't know what end of me was up, let alone trying to figure out what the heck was going on with the girl down the street. Taking the relationship to another level? I don't even know what the hell that means now.

They asked Alfie how he would support the child financially. He asked what financially means.

Thirteen? Deep love? Adding physical love because they had tapped out the emotional side of love?

I wasn't emotionally or mentally ready for a real relationship until about the age of 30. My wife might argue that I still haven't hit the ready mark at the age of 44.

I'm more than halfway through this life and this kid has soared by me by the time he hits 13?

And what a stud, right? I couldn't work a decent kiss unless I was deeply under the influence of tequila and beer. My college buddies can vouch for that. Life was about bouncing a ball, hitting a ball, or watching someone else play a game until I was nearly done with college.

It certainly sounds as if Alfie has found himself a real keeper too. At least three guys are in line wondering if they will win the paternity test contest - how very Jerry Springerish of her. She has a bright future, and so does that kid with Alfie's eyes.

Oh well, just when you think there are no more stories out there to tell, an Alfie comes along, or some tv monkey mauls a woman. At least it's knocking A-Rod off the front page.

Good luck, Alfie, enjoy that baby - you can simply hand your own clothes down and think of all the fun you'll have playing together.

Comments

Rosie said…
for the record you werent a good kisser even with Tequilla and beer.
19 February, 2009
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