Scanning the Globe

One of those days when I let the news catch up to me:

Another surfer attacked by a shark and a horrified public screams - What's wrong with these sharks? Why are they attacking us? Well, I'm not a genius, but it seems to me that they are hungry and we are food. I can imagine cows saying the same thing as they graze - why are these people attacking us - real simple - food, the natural order of things. We play in their homes, we run the risk of being dinner.

How about the man who kept his family in a cage that he called a fall-out shelter. Talk about wait until your father gets home. It blows your mind when you read about someone who got stuck a few rungs down on the chain of evolution - oh, wait, George W. doesn't believe in evolution - another subject.

An that cult with the teenage brides and molested wives and sons. It appears to me that it is much easier to brainwash people when they feel let down by life. These places prey on weakness - the way things are going we should have a cult or sect or whatever the hell they call themselves popping up on every corner.

An economist is explaining that gas is going to top out at $10 a gallon. Get ready to see a slightly overweight, severely balding man riding a moped. I predict that if gas even hits 5 a gallon there will be a revolution.

Can't way to see Exxon-Mobil's record-breaking profits for the first quarter. Just goes to show you - push a merger through on an unsuspecting public and you can write your own paycheck. Ah, coroporate greed - gotta' love it.

A friend of mine blamed the high gas prices on the Democratic congress - at least I laughed today. Has nothing to do with that trillion dollar "mistake of intelligence."

The Yankees are still pissing me off. Every day another player falls victim to a bad MRI. My advice - stop giving them MRI's - Babe Ruth ate a hot dog every 3rd inning - Mickey Mantle hit homers loaded. Now you feel a twinge and you sit for a month.

I heard the Bills first round pick speak (sort of) on TV - the man's attack on the English language left me shaking my head - he'll make five million per for catching a ball - my black lab can catch a dozen in a row off the garage - perhaps the Bills should look at her - she'd be better in the post-game interviews too.

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