Making Sense of It

A good friend of mine had surgery for colon cancer, developed blood clots on his lungs and on his heart, recovered from that and found that he has a spot on his lung. Hoping against hope, he had the necessary tests and yes, the spot is more cancer. He's lost over 40 pounds. He has five kids, a lot to live for, and a new way of looking at life.

"All the things we do every day, it's all pretty pointless," he said. "There are just a few things that are really important, and I plan on living a long time to chase those things down."

I had a long drive home to think about those words. I thought of my grandfather who said, "Life is a shit sandwich." I thought of Tony Soprano who said, "It's all a big nothing."

We've all been there. My friend wasn't being cynical. Rather, he was just looking at everything a little differently since this fight for his life has begun.

When you think about it - really think about it as my friend is doing now - there is so much more that we all want to do.

There are moments when I feel like I'm just wasting time. Too much work, too much sleep, too much waiting at a red light, too much waiting on line at the bank. Too much time spent in front of the television.

I know my buddy wants that time back. Yet there are no guarantees. There is no advance warning. Some people suffer through disease and basically have time to get used to the idea. Others go suddenly - the curtain pulled closed all in one fell swoop. Neither sounds like much of a choice.

I'm not trying to bring you down - I'm just swinging you around to the happy conclusion that I arrived at on my drive home.

Are you ready?

Only love brings you joy. Think about it. If you had time to battle and think about your life and put your affairs in order with advance notice - wouldn't you sift through the dust of fool's gold to remember the truly joyful moments?

On the drive home, I considered the birth of my children, my wedding, hanging with my family,and laughing until I couldn't laugh anymore. I thought back to college and the great friends I met there, and considered my high school pals, and those I've admired in my career.

All the joy came back as love.

Perhaps the rest is pointless, or a big nothing, or even a shit sandwich. So much feels like a colossal waste of time, but we are all searching for more time - another day, another month, another ten years...because those moments of joy brought on by love...are worth it.

Comments

Dad chose "Time in a Bottle" as the father-daughter dance at my wedding... fits rather poignantly with this post.

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