1, 2, 3- Everyone Buy Some Gas!

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I'm actually awaiting the moment when the woman on the other end of the line says - "Your balance includes a desposit totaling....

The government is going to press that anonymous lady into action as my "tax rebate" hits the books.

First off, what of that lady? Do you think her friends recognize her as the woman who's voice is on their call-ins to the bank? Do total strangers listen to her speak for the first time and say - "I know I know you from somewhere?"

Whatever? Must be an interesting life.

What to do with this sudden cash surplus? Geez, isn't "W" like the greatest president ever? He keeps giving us money!!! He's sort of like the rich uncle who molests you when your parents are gone and gives you candy money when they're watching. Again! Whatever! (Never happened to me, but sounded like a good analogy when I practiced it).

Bush tells us to fill that gas tank... wink, wink... so he and his buddies can have all of that money back without actually stealing it. (This time).

Or better yet - get yourself a sandwich. I know you've all been starving for the last eight years. (That was Clinton's fault - for leaving us in such a mess).

We need to stimulate the economy so America can prosper once more. (Kind of like it did pre-2000).

We need to stop sending all of the money across the sea to that bottomless pit of a war that will never produce a winner. (What war? Iraq - oh, that's just a scuffle).

What am I going to do with my sudden fortune? The way we have it figured, my wife and I can both fill our gas tank - twice! We'll have enough left over to use the pushmower on the grass.

To stimulate growth, we'll buy a Webkids for Sam, a pack of wrestling cards for Jake, and Matt can't finally get that taco he's had his eye on for over a year.

Thank you "W"! Thank you, Cheney!

Please let the door hit you on the way out.

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