Movie Love
Wouldn't it be cool if relationships in real life worked as they do in the movies. I'm talking the When Harry Met Sally sort of way where they find friendship, fall a little in love, sleep together, feel ashamed, hate each other and then finally make a long drawn-out pronouncement of eternal bliss. And I absolutely loved that movie - when Billy Crystal says - "when you realize who is the person you want to spend the rest of your life, you want the rest of your life to start right now" - I get a little choked up.
Yet, love isn't like that, is it? It's the excitement of youth, the responsibility and familiarity of middle-age, and the mutual dependance of the golden age.
Look at a couple you know who've been together over forty years - they know each other so well - and despise each other so much - but the love is unbelievable! I know of an old joke where an elderly couple sits down for breakfast and the wife looks across the table and says, "Good morning, what would you like to do today." The old man pours his cereal, smiles back and says, "I'd like to kill you."
My wife and I often talk about how we can avoid the kind of love where we spend our free moments giving one another the finger from behind closed doors. I'm not sure we will avoid the pitfalls. You simply get used to each other, and before long, the stories are old and tired.
The other day I started telling my wife a funny story from my college days, two sentences in she said, "Yeah, I heard that one." I just sort of looked away. "What do you want to do today?" she asked. I didn't answer.
What I'm getting at is that love in the movies is so cool - there is the amazing attraction, the I don't care about anything else in my life other than being with you, and the screen fading to black as we live the happily ever after.
Over 60% of marriages don't have that sort of ending. The one's that last, sometimes are completed in rages of anger, but I think that what we are seeing is the fact that love isn't easy - it is (As President Bush might say) "hard, hard work."
About ten years ago, I was at my parents home for a holiday party. They had some music playing and they were actually hanging out together - I'd seen their marriage from all sorts of different angles, but the Kenny Rogers song - "Through the Years" came on - they didn't know I was watching, but I saw them dance - (which wasn't pretty) - and heard my mother singing the words - (which was a lot like hearing my wife's non-angelic voice) and I couldn't help but get choked up as though I were watching the end of a movie love.
The moments come - it isn't all edited in a formatted version to fit your screen, but love can endure. Despite everything working against it - movie love is out there, it's just disguised as mutual respect.
Yet, love isn't like that, is it? It's the excitement of youth, the responsibility and familiarity of middle-age, and the mutual dependance of the golden age.
Look at a couple you know who've been together over forty years - they know each other so well - and despise each other so much - but the love is unbelievable! I know of an old joke where an elderly couple sits down for breakfast and the wife looks across the table and says, "Good morning, what would you like to do today." The old man pours his cereal, smiles back and says, "I'd like to kill you."
My wife and I often talk about how we can avoid the kind of love where we spend our free moments giving one another the finger from behind closed doors. I'm not sure we will avoid the pitfalls. You simply get used to each other, and before long, the stories are old and tired.
The other day I started telling my wife a funny story from my college days, two sentences in she said, "Yeah, I heard that one." I just sort of looked away. "What do you want to do today?" she asked. I didn't answer.
What I'm getting at is that love in the movies is so cool - there is the amazing attraction, the I don't care about anything else in my life other than being with you, and the screen fading to black as we live the happily ever after.
Over 60% of marriages don't have that sort of ending. The one's that last, sometimes are completed in rages of anger, but I think that what we are seeing is the fact that love isn't easy - it is (As President Bush might say) "hard, hard work."
About ten years ago, I was at my parents home for a holiday party. They had some music playing and they were actually hanging out together - I'd seen their marriage from all sorts of different angles, but the Kenny Rogers song - "Through the Years" came on - they didn't know I was watching, but I saw them dance - (which wasn't pretty) - and heard my mother singing the words - (which was a lot like hearing my wife's non-angelic voice) and I couldn't help but get choked up as though I were watching the end of a movie love.
The moments come - it isn't all edited in a formatted version to fit your screen, but love can endure. Despite everything working against it - movie love is out there, it's just disguised as mutual respect.
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