10 Things I Hate
1). I hate when someone says, "I was talking on the phone" and holds a fake phone up to their ear - put your freaking hand down - I know what a phone looks like!
2). I hate cute phrases like Okie-Dokie - when someone wants to end a correspondence with me and they say Okie-Dokie, I vomit in my mouth a little.
3). I hate losing a sock when I do the laundry - I remember Seinfeld doing a bit about this, but I hate it because I want every chore finished to completion and when I can't find that damn sock it infuriates me.
4). I hate when someone says "irregardless" - it isn't a word - regardless as to what you might think.
5). I hate preachers that say that God spoke to them. If God were to speak with most of them idiots, I'm sure He'd tell them to shut the hell up.
6). I hate athletes who are interviewed after a big game who say - "I gave 110 percent out there." There's only 100 percent you moron, where did you get the other 10%?
7). I hate the guys who are in front of me at a convenience store who buy $400 in daily lottery tickets. If you don't buy the tickets and lose - you'll have more money - besides, you're killing me with your cute pronouncements that you picked 2-3-2 becuase you got $2.32 back in change - not everything is an omen - get out of the way and let me buy my newspaper.
8). I hate Snakes - yet, really, who likes them? I mean really likes them? The nuns told me about the snake in the Garden of Eden and I've hated the bastards since.
9). I hate piercings of every kind - what would make you pierce your eye, ear, nose, tongue, or friggen' private parts? I saw a guy the other day who looked like he got caught in a tackle-box explosion - how does he find a decent job?
10). I hate when my kid wears his baseball hat backwards and buys jeans that come with holes already in them - it's all I can do not to whack the hat off his head and rip a bigger hole in his pants.
Just thought I'd get that off my chest.
2). I hate cute phrases like Okie-Dokie - when someone wants to end a correspondence with me and they say Okie-Dokie, I vomit in my mouth a little.
3). I hate losing a sock when I do the laundry - I remember Seinfeld doing a bit about this, but I hate it because I want every chore finished to completion and when I can't find that damn sock it infuriates me.
4). I hate when someone says "irregardless" - it isn't a word - regardless as to what you might think.
5). I hate preachers that say that God spoke to them. If God were to speak with most of them idiots, I'm sure He'd tell them to shut the hell up.
6). I hate athletes who are interviewed after a big game who say - "I gave 110 percent out there." There's only 100 percent you moron, where did you get the other 10%?
7). I hate the guys who are in front of me at a convenience store who buy $400 in daily lottery tickets. If you don't buy the tickets and lose - you'll have more money - besides, you're killing me with your cute pronouncements that you picked 2-3-2 becuase you got $2.32 back in change - not everything is an omen - get out of the way and let me buy my newspaper.
8). I hate Snakes - yet, really, who likes them? I mean really likes them? The nuns told me about the snake in the Garden of Eden and I've hated the bastards since.
9). I hate piercings of every kind - what would make you pierce your eye, ear, nose, tongue, or friggen' private parts? I saw a guy the other day who looked like he got caught in a tackle-box explosion - how does he find a decent job?
10). I hate when my kid wears his baseball hat backwards and buys jeans that come with holes already in them - it's all I can do not to whack the hat off his head and rip a bigger hole in his pants.
Just thought I'd get that off my chest.
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