10 Things I Hate

1). I hate when someone says, "I was talking on the phone" and holds a fake phone up to their ear - put your freaking hand down - I know what a phone looks like!

2). I hate cute phrases like Okie-Dokie - when someone wants to end a correspondence with me and they say Okie-Dokie, I vomit in my mouth a little.

3). I hate losing a sock when I do the laundry - I remember Seinfeld doing a bit about this, but I hate it because I want every chore finished to completion and when I can't find that damn sock it infuriates me.

4). I hate when someone says "irregardless" - it isn't a word - regardless as to what you might think.

5). I hate preachers that say that God spoke to them. If God were to speak with most of them idiots, I'm sure He'd tell them to shut the hell up.

6). I hate athletes who are interviewed after a big game who say - "I gave 110 percent out there." There's only 100 percent you moron, where did you get the other 10%?

7). I hate the guys who are in front of me at a convenience store who buy $400 in daily lottery tickets. If you don't buy the tickets and lose - you'll have more money - besides, you're killing me with your cute pronouncements that you picked 2-3-2 becuase you got $2.32 back in change - not everything is an omen - get out of the way and let me buy my newspaper.

8). I hate Snakes - yet, really, who likes them? I mean really likes them? The nuns told me about the snake in the Garden of Eden and I've hated the bastards since.

9). I hate piercings of every kind - what would make you pierce your eye, ear, nose, tongue, or friggen' private parts? I saw a guy the other day who looked like he got caught in a tackle-box explosion - how does he find a decent job?

10). I hate when my kid wears his baseball hat backwards and buys jeans that come with holes already in them - it's all I can do not to whack the hat off his head and rip a bigger hole in his pants.

Just thought I'd get that off my chest.

Comments

nmallen said…
I saw a commercial for weight loss equipment earlier this week that said "lose up to 408% more weight." Now I understand how that works mathematically, compared to "I gave 110%", but was the extra 8% really necessary? If you ask me it sounds silly. It must be a trend because later that day I saw a commercial for diet pills that said "lose up to 396% more weight." Why won't they just round it out? It's not like these products actually work anyway...

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