Here's My Advice!

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So, Dr. Phil ran into a little trouble because he gave Britney advice and tried to promote it. Can't say that I'm surprised.

I've never been a real Dr. Phil fan - first off, he looks like that dude who used to be on the Larry Sanders show - secondly, he gives weight loss advice and he's got the same build as me. Thirdly, his advice isn't that great.

I saw him talking to some weight-challenged people and he acknowledged that the best advice he could give is that they eat right and exercise. Really? No, kidding. How about telling them to duct tape that gaping hole under their nose. That would work too.

All of the advice-givers are a little too much for me. They preach respect and communication in a marriage. Awesome - I would have never come up with that on my own.

They tell you that men and women have different needs. Tremendous! How many years of schooling for that gem?

Here is the basic difference of men and women encapsulated, as I see it. I'll come home from work and my wife will say - "How was your day?"

My answer - "If they weren't paying me, I wouldn't go!"

Her deal - I ask, "How was your day?"

She gives me the full eight-hour recap. I nod along and only perk my ears up when she introduces an unknown female into the conversation - my input at that point is limited to asking if the unknown female is hot.

I get the roll of the eyes and we go on.

My advice - certainly respect. Self-respect is usually the hardest to come by and lack of it presents itself in a lot of problems - see over-eating, over-drinking, over chasing women, over compensating in a lot of areas.

Best e-mail I received this year says it all - "Live Simply, Love Generously, Care Deeply, Speak Kindly, and Leave the Rest to God."

I think I'll send that e-mail to Dr. Phil.

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