I'll Work For Your Love, Dear

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There's an old Paul Simon song where he sings, "To ask someone to love you, it takes a lot of nerve."

I'm not sure why I think of this line so often, but I think it's because deep down, none of us feel worthy of the kind of earth-shattering love that we all seek.

I thought of this yesterday when I ran into an old friend of mine who was continually critical of the fact that I was married with children. This guy wanted to escape the "trap" of being tied-down. He would often ridicule me, asking me if I was allowed to carry my testicles around with me, or if my wife kept them in a jar by the door. He was free to come and go as he pleased with beer, sports, golf and all sorts of beautiful things to occupy his time.

Can't say that I didn't envy him from time to time.

Yet, a funny thing happened to him on the way to his eternal solo act - he fell in love.

His baby is due in July, and his wife is now picking out items to change his home. Of course, I didn't say anything about the new jar in his closet. Yet I definitely turned the tables - I asked him if he liked folding laundry, changing diapers, washing dishes, and skipping golf to attend gatherings with his new wife. He assured me that he was ready to go.

Which reminded me of the fact that I have changed for the love of my wife and kids. I used to really hate doing laundry - when I lived alone, I let it pile up until I was out of clean underwear. When I was down to my last pair, I hauled the filthy clothes to someone who would wash and fold them and give them back to me - I didn't care what it cost.

Now, I empty the baskets every two days - I've mixed and matched enough socks to sink a ship. I've even learned about the positive aspects of fabric softener.

Yes, I've learned to work for the love that I don't feel I truly deserve. We all fall into that trap.

My buddy was smiling ear-to-ear as he envisioned his new life. I called him a "poor, clueless bastard," but I shook his hand and congratulated him on finding his peace of mind. Laundry or not - two hearts are better than one. Good for you, Tim.

Comments

Rosey said…
As Cliffs roomie in College I can attest that he is a slob. We did have someone do our laundry but the scariest part about it was that the "guy" didn't charge us anything. We didn't care what he was doing with it but it always came back clean and folded...
21 January, 2008
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