I Got Nothing

A lot of years ago I wrote a book called “Eye in the Sky” after the sudden death of a friend.

My thinking was I’d be able to get a grasp on what death meant and why it scared the hell out of me as a twenty-something man.

Years later, I was scared out of my mind again when my son got sick. 

I wrote “Counting On A Miracle” as I grappled with the idea that I had control of nothing!

At a book signing for that book a Dad came up to me and asked him how he should deal with grief after his son lost his life in a car accident.

I wrote “Blind Spot” as a way to answer his questions.

And then life hammered my family with a number of deaths.

I felt like a zombie for a long, long time.

Read some books about it,

Got nowhere.

This year, I’ve lost a number of work friends. Guys younger than me.

Some died of Covid. One had a sudden heart attack. Another died of a blood infection.

The Springsteen song on a loop:

“One minute you’re here, the next minute you’re gone.”

And my cousin, Maryann this week.

Someone I’ve known since birth.

All the thinking about it.

All the faith and believing that eternity awaits and everlasting life.

I think about it.

Wonder what it all means.

I got nothing.

Just don’t know.

But I always come back to another song lyric.

“Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be.”

“Let it be.”