Thoughts of a Common Man

As a Dad you’re supposed to be able to fix things. I can’t do it. And since Sam seems to be like a wrecking ball through this place... ...well, we need a Dad around here. Sam and my nephew broke the cover to the hot tub. We haven’t had a hot tub since. I was on a job yesterday and mentioned it to a carpenter. “Dude, the rigid foam break?” He asked. “I guess.” “Should take you ten minutes to fix,” he said. “Should take YOU ten minutes I said. That would take me 3 years.” He laughed. “No, I’m serious. I have zero mechanical ability.” “Come on!” He said. “You know those boxes you get to mail things out?” I asked. “Yeah.” “I can’t put those together.” He laughed again. “But you could write the manual.” So, I got home on Monday with an eye on cutting the lawn. The mower was not in the mood. Sam has mowed all summer. Evidently, he broke the handle... ...bah!  I looked at it - the bolts were there but no nuts.. “I can do this,” I thought. I sent Kathy a text: “Going to Home Depot so I can...

I’ve been a proud American for a long time, and that’s not to say that I have always been a hundred percent behind what we do. There are times when I’m not all that proud to be an American, and that’s all right. We’re free to question and free to protest our anger. Seems there’s been a whole lot to be angry about here in 2020. The Coronavirus response has been embarrassing at best. The racial tension has been a scar that has never fully healed. The scab is off right now. And there have been zero calls for unity, quite the opposite, actually and it culminated in a white power chant being retweeted by the so-called leader. Shame. Yet, just when you think that you can swallow that, as an American, and learn to fight another day... ...it gets worse. On Saturday night it broke that Russia initiated a bounty system on American soldiers in Afghanistan. This administration, it appears, was well aware of that horrific measure in March.  Since then Trump made a case for unity - with Russia! ...

It’s a weird new world. Been going on for years, of course, but there was once a time when you’d leave your house, and you’d just be gone until you showed up home again. Now, of course, you’re expected... ...all the time. “Where are you?” “I’ll be home in ten minutes. Oh, GPS says 11 minutes.” I remember the days when you could swing by the bar on the way home and not be ‘caught’ unless someone actually drove on by.  The phone behind the bar would ring and six guys would all shout out, “I’m not here!” Now? “I checked the tracker on the phone.” Or even worse. “I texted you.” “I didn’t see it.” “It said that you read it.” I bring this all up because I am the only one in my home who actually reads texts or answers calls pretty much immediately. I am also unbelievably impatient. “Yo,” I’ll write. “‘Sup?” Then I wait. “You there?” A few minutes more. “Hello???” Perhaps it’s the writer in me but I start imagining things. Worst-care scenario type stuff. That’s the very definition of anxie...

“The reality is that we were able to flatten the curve. We took care of our most vulnerable citizens, including citizens with underlying conditions. We created a solid foundation for what lies ahead.” - Pence That was the “leader” of the coronavirus task force on the day when 44,000 new cases were added and we approached 125,000 deaths.  Arizona, Texas and Florida are closing things down again with California and South Carolina not far behind. What galls me most about Pence is that he goes out of his way to act pious and Christian... ...and he lies so easily.   Three times he spoke about praying it all away. A lot like his thoughts on mass shootings. Let’s count the lies: 1). We didn’t flatten the curve by any stretch of the imagination. 2). We left our most vulnerable citizens to twist in the wind. A whole bunch of them died. A lot more will die due to inaction. 3). We have not created a solid foundation of anything. There is no plan. The CDC advises people to wear mask to sa...

What people do fascinates me sometimes. Like, what makes a guy like Jim Jordan sit right next to Jerry Nadler, who everyone knows has a wife with cancer, without a mask? Now, Democrat Versus Republican (which is a lot like Alien Versus Predator) aside... ...how can you, as a man, do something so devoid of compassion? I don’t get it. I don’t get John Bolton either. He spent 17 months beside Trump. Like Mattis and Kelly and anyone with more thought than a 3rd grader, he knows Trump isn’t fit for the job. He was also in the room where it happened when Trump sold his country down the road for dirt on Biden. Everyone knew he knew! And he refused to testify when it mattered and Trump could’ve been taken out with the trash. He held out until he could put it in a book. Now he’s out pedaling the book and stands to make millions off a story that means little now. No one on Trump’s side cares. Trump has spent the last few months trashing him as a whacko. Anyone who will vote for Trump in November...

My youngest kid is 20-years old today. King Quarantine is the last one to make the jump, and it certainly has been a weird year for Sam (and for the rest of us). Sam was working a couple of jobs when the virus hit. His work is still not actually up and running, so how does a kid handle being basically confined to the house for months? Turns out, pretty well. Sam has always loved being home. Back when he was younger we’d be headed for a party and he’d ask why we couldn’t just stay here. He has everything he needs. His cat, dog, chicken fries and salt and vinegar chips, and sports. I’ve never actually worried much about missing my kids because they aren’t leaving Buffalo either. They love it here. And poor Sam... ...he’s always been our go-to-guy for help. “Sam! I need a water!” “Sam! Get the dogs in!!” And during the virus days: “Sam! Clean your room!” But he can be secure in one thing: We love him and we want him to be around here forever.   Twenty? That’s a big birthday. We hope h...

Okay, since June 10th, I’ve been in the following states and locations: 1). Kansas 2). Missouri 3). Illinois 4). Michigan 5). Massachusetts  6). Connecticut  7). New Hampshire 8). Buffalo 9). Syracuse That’s seeing a whole lot of people. If there was actual contact tracing I’d be a rough follow. In the Midwest, it was pretty difficult to find evidence of a pandemic and that’s despite the fact that there were signs posted on all construction sites and there were hand-wash stations at each location. The general consensus: “What can you do? People die.” In New York State the use of masks is more common. The sites have all the bells and whistles. Many of the people involved are taking their cues from one man in particular. “We are doing more tests. Of course we will have more.” When I mention that there also seem to be a lot of deaths, I get the old: “Just old people.” In the New England states, the news is a little better. I saw more masks. People were more cautious. “This ain’t ...

There’s no way I could possibly listen to Donald Trump speak, unless Sarah Cooper is mocking him, but I was paying attention to social media as the Tulsa rally got underway. I laughed when I saw them tearing down the outside stage because there was no over-flow crowd. I was surprised by all the empty seats, but maybe I shouldn’t have been. The virus is attacking the Midwest and the South right now. People stayed home. Yet, Trump took the stage and went on the attack. Here’s why he should lose all 50 states: 1). He called it the ‘Kung Flu.’ 2). He admitted to telling his team of morons to slow down on the testing because they were getting too many positives. 3). He spoke about why he couldn’t walk down the ramp. 4). He drank water with only one hand! 5). He mocked people for wearing masks. 6). He inferred that people who got sick with the virus are weak people.   7). He tried to stoke violence by saying the cops need to bump the heads of those being out in the paddy wagon. 8). He cl...

Made a decision a few years back. I don’t acknowledge the anniversary of the death of a loved one. But man, I’m willing to celebrate their birthday! Today would’ve been Jeff’s 50th. It’s hard to believe because he was cheated out of so much time, but on Saturday I golfed with three guys who loved Jeff so much. We laughed hard swapping stories. “So, I’m sitting in a bar, nursing a beer, talking quietly with the bartender when I see the bouncer looking at me kinda’ weird. He makes a beeline for me and smacks me squarely in the chest. “Get your brother and get the hell out of here,” he says. “What’s he doing?” I asked. “Aggravating people,” the raging bartender said. “People are trying to talk and have a good time and he keeps doing a fake laugh.  “Ha, aha, ha, aha. It’s driving me crazy.” “That sounds about right,” I said. I headed to the back room where Jeff was shooting pool. I heard his voice above the chatter. “Ha, aha, ha, aha.” I laughed. “It ain’t funny,” the bouncer said. “Le...

I was telling the story the other day. The year was 1983. I was a union laborer working at the Hotel Meridien in San Francisco. My primary task that summer was as a member of the concrete crew as we poured 47 stories worth of concrete. Day after day. The first concrete truck would arrive at 6 a.m., Dad, John and I rode into work together. “There’s your breakfast,” Dad said to me, one morning. I groaned. “It’s a good job,” he said. “I got it for you to show you what you don’t want to do for the next thirty years.” “I actually like it,” I said. “But I get hungry. We start pouring by 6:30 and we don’t stop until the last truck leaves, which is usually around 2:00. I’m starving by then.” Dad didn’t say anything. That day started like so many others. Sweating profusely, muscles sore from hard labor, concrete flowing... ...one truck after another. Then, around 11:00 I heard my Dad’s voice: “Cliff!” I turned to see him there in his suit and tie, and hard hat. Everyone in the crew of twenty tu...

Not sure about you, but I’m beyond aggravated with the owners who won’t budge and have threatened the season. Thing is, it might be crazy anyway. We obviously are not out of a first wave of the virus and we are most certainly headed to a sad fall and winter. The worst possible scenario might be that they get going and actually bring us all back in and then they have to cancel it anyway because players are getting sick. Fauci is saying that he thinks football is impractical too.   The Tampa Bay Lightning just shut down their training facility. There are at least 8 positive members on the Phillies. I’m sure there have been a lot more cases as well, but that’s all besides the point. The real problem is that the owners are trying to bust the union. They want to work this into the strife necessary to lock out the players when the agreement comes up for debate. Ridiculous. The owners are billionaires. They have made record profits each of the last ten years, but we won’t know how much be...

The great rally to make America Great Again or Keep America Great or Transition Back to Greatness or Come for the Covid-19, Stay for the Unemployment Tour... ...is live from Tulsa, Oklahoma where the leaders and the mayors are saying ‘Please Don’t Hold This Rally, ‘Cause Our Numbers Are Through the Roof.’ While the leader of the task force to combat the virus doesn’t want to talk about it and where his boss says that the virus is almost gone. The scientists are absolutely astounded. No one talks to them anymore. “It’s just a bad flu,” a proud Kansas man told me. “I don’t know,” I said. “I know of a few people who died because of it.” “Me too,” he said. “It took out my mother. She was in her 80’s.” “I’m sorry,” I said. “You only get one Mom.” He waved me off. Shrugged. “It took my Dad, too,” he said. That’s when I became fascinated by the conversation. The virus took his mother AND his father and he was still minimizing it as a ‘bad flu’? “People gotta’ die,” he said. “Would be an awful...

Whenever I’m out on the road I have a lot of time to think. The trip to the Midwest at the start of this week was good for my mental state. I put on Apple Car Play with all my tunes stored and I drove. Across the flat land. Cows on the side of the road, drinking out of a pond. Twenty miles later, more cows. This is truly a beautiful country. I kept thinking about that and I also, as I’m prone to do, I replayed a lot of scenes from days gone by. So many great friends. A tremendous family. A good career. I listened to The Cars first record. Thought about standing on the baseball diamond talking it over with Sam Rizzo. He had just won a copy of the record from a radio station. “If you don’t want it, I’ll take it,” I said. “I’ll burn you a copy,” he said. I had no idea how one would do such a thing, but Sam was true to his word. He gave me a tape with that record on it. I wore that tape out. That was 41 years ago. Benjamin Orr and Ric Ocasek, the driving force behind that music are gone no...

I can’t see the point of view of the no mask people. I was walking a little distance behind two such guys at Chicago’s Midway. They were chatting about the fact that the pretty girl who passed them by had a covered-face. Moron #1:  “That pisses me off. I can’t even tell if she was hot.” Moron #2: “Like you have a shot. She’s gotta’ wear her mask like the rest of the sheeple. We’re almost a Muslim nation now.” Moron #1 “So stupid. Some boomer got pissed at me at the 7/11. She screams ‘you should be protecting me!’” Moron #2 “Like we give a sh*t about her.” They both laughed. Moron #1 “Old b**ch was probably on the way to her ‘cops suck riot.’” Moron #2 “The virus don’t spread at protests.” They both laughed again. Moron #1 “Now they’re trying to shame the president into not having his rally. Hypocrites.” Moron #2 “Dude!” He started saying more about that, but I had enough. I turned to a bank of chairs that was abandoned. Heard the announcement over the speakers. “The CDC requires al...

I wasn’t even through security before I received my text from the airline. My flight from Buffalo to Chicago was going to be delayed an hour.  I took the news all right because I was starving!  The Buffalo airport was clean and there weren’t a hell of a lot of people around. I filled my water bottle after dumping it out twenty feet from security (dumbest rule ever) and I started the long walk to the gate.  I was nearly to my gate when I saw a sign: “There are no food or beverage options beyond this point.” What??? There were three black women beside me looking at the same sign. “This is bullshit,” one of them said. “So, where do we get food?” I asked. “Back by security,” the other girl said. We all walked all the way back. I got a freaking snickers bar! There were no other options! I boarded the plane - just 40 of us on a huge plane! I got an exit row all to myself and the attendant came by to let us know how we needed to help if the plane went down. “I’m willing to help,...

I was tasked to get the birthday cake. I went to BJ’s and that’s a store where it’s hard for me to get in and out without spending $300. I was lean and mean on this trip. I grabbed the cake, a 6-pack of clams, and a new Sandford book.  Hopped into the self-checkout and tried to scan the membership card.  It didn’t work. The clerk came by and entered the code and said, “Give me the old card. I’ll make a new one.” I scanned my groceries and paid for them and then waited for her to come back with the card. She handed it to me and I put it into my wallet and then left my wallet at the register. And I left. We had a grand time celebrating. On Sunday morning with just an hour to go before I had to be at the airport for a flight out (more on that tomorrow) I looked all over for my wallet. Now, I NEVER lose things and suddenly I was down a wallet and that damn cap for my red water bottle. You know the drill when you’re looking for something. You search in places it can’t possibly be! ...

We grabbed a cake and allowed Jake to choose his dinner for his birthday. He chose pizza and wings from Imperial and there were onions on the pizza. I picked up the ice cream cake, but it wasn’t about the food. I mostly enjoyed the banter between the boys. Jake’s and Matt’s girlfriends were here so we had a chance to share a bunch of the old stories. We laughed a lot. I couldn’t help but think about years gone past and the love and togetherness of my siblings. “One-on-one up to five?” Matt asked Sam. “I’m gonna’ kill you,” Sam said. I popped my head out and watched them shoot around. I was tempted to ask for the ball, but didn’t. Let them play. The balls were in the air and the sound of their laughter broke the quiet of the early evening neighborhood. They’re looking around the house for furniture that they can grab. A table or two. The bar. “Take it,” I said. “We don’t need all this stuff.” A little while later, Sam came rushing in. “You win?” “No, he cheated.” Matt laughed. “Wasn’t c...

My son Jake is socially conscious. Today is also his birthday, and I’m proud of the way he thinks through the critical issues of the day. He’s stumped. About the treatment of black people in this country and through the years. We have often spoke through music, exchanging lyrics. I told him about “American Skin” by Springsteen and how, for some reason, it was a controversial song when it was released 21 years ago. “Why?” Jake asked after reading the lyrics. “It wasn’t anti-cop.” “People don’t think things through,” I said. “Bruce was talking about what it’s like to be a minority and how dangerous it can be.” He was the first white man to acknowledge it in a mainstream medium and he was ridden hard for it. Jake texted me a few responses and also the lyrics from a song written by an angry, black rapper. He also wondered aloud as to why one specific person in a leadership position would stoke the fire. “He wants the fight,” I said. “He needs the division. He wants to see if he has enough ...

We were in the car coming back feom somewhere and somehow everything rolled forward in the car and I saw the cap for my water bottle go flying.   The backstory here is that all I drink these days is water and I have a half-dozen water bottles that I rotate.   Losing one would be devastating.   "Where'd that cap go?" I asked.   "I'll find it when we get home," Kathy said. But she didn't.   Neither did I.   I moved the seats forward. I picked up the floor mats. I dug between the seats.   Nothing!   Now, I'm well aware that a normal person can take such things in stride.   It's just a water bottle. Yet, the next day, I was a bit of a mental mess.  Where was it?   At each stop, I retraced my steps, digging under the seats, and the same floor mats.  Nothing! I sent a text in the direction of home. “Maybe the cap bounced into your purse."  "Still looking for it? LOL?"  ...

There are days when life moves fast. As Ferris Bueller said, You need to slow down and enjoy it. I was having one of those types of days on Wednesday. Phone ringing, email chiming, texts vibrating, and it was quite warm. I jumped from one task to the next, bad news on one call, good news on one text, all the while trying to fit in a gulp or two of water, and I thought about February and March. When life had really slowed down. This entire year has felt like a century, hasn’t it. There are going to be historians who specialize in just a single month or two of 2020. It’s hard to keep up. So here in June, I have a bit of a score card. 1). We beat the virus!!! Well, not really, but we’re done with it. Let the bodies fall as they may. “I’m not putting a mask on, ever!” I hear that announced 8 times a day. Thank God we beat it! 2). They took COPS off the air. A re-training of the police is badly required. No matter how you want to slice what happened in the last c...

I really like a few Christopher Cross songs. I actually heard one yesterday, ‘Ride Like the Wind’ and I thought of a couple of things. 1). My college roommate once ran into him in New Jersey. He was sitting in a lawn chair, playing a guitar at a party on the shore. “He was a little chubby,” my buddy said. “But he was great.” 2). The song came out in 1980. “40-f***ing years ago!” I said to the inside of my car. “Wow!” As luck might have it, on the very next job, my amazement about how time has just flown on by, like it was riding away on the wind, was brought to mind. “How old are you now?” The old friend on the construction site asked me. “I’ll be 56 in October,” I said. “I’m 62,” he said. “I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be at this.” “Man, I’ve known you, what, 20 years?” “About that,” he said. “We were young men then.” “For sure.” He seemed wistful. “Damn,” he finally said. “Gets you thinking, right? How much time do we got left? 20 more? Think how fast that...

Boy, there’s more traffic on the roads, right? People mostly seem to be acclimated to the masks in the stores and moving along public sidewalks. In fact, I don’t feel too much different. A contractor outfitted me with a scarf that I put on in the morning and just yank it up when I walk into a job or into a place of business. I’ve been wearing PPE since I was 17 years old. It doesn’t bother me. Yet, the following states had more new cases yesterday than when they shut it down back in March: Arizona Texas California North Carolina South Carolina Florida There have been 6,000 deaths since June 1st. It’s the 9th. 20,000 more dead Americans this month. “Will it come back in the fall?” They have asked that question of Dr. Fauci. He seems confident it will. He’s wrong. There’s no coming back if you never left! And here’s the thing: We are never shutting down again. Won’t happen. People are bored with it. So ‘whatevs’, as the kids say. I came up on a gu...

112,702 people have died of Covid-19. I thought about that as I watched the terrific grief of a family as I sat at a memorial service and wake on Sunday afternoon. I saw the grief-stricken grandchildren. Just kids, wondering why Grandma wasn’t there. I watched a father’s eyes tear up over and over again as he contemplated the loss of his daughter. Two daughters got up and shared their love for their Mom. Both struggled mightily to stay composed. The priest spoke of the 45-year coupling as the husband broke down in the front row. I was just peeking in at the grief, also knowing that I’d miss my sister-in-law... ...but I was thinking of all the other families all across the land who have bid farewell (sometimes without even a service) to their loved ones. For sure more than a million people have been affected by loss. I spoke to a guy about the virus later in the day. “It’s so overhyped,” he said. And I didn’t bother to argue with him. Luckily for him, he doesn’t ...

We’ve had a plan to improve things around the house. My beautiful wife is a big planner... ...she also has a short little span of attention. We’ve needed furniture for the living room for about a year. Melky’s spot on the couch is pretty worn out. About two months ago, we went into a furniture store near the house and we quickly picked out what we wanted. “Let’s just get it,” I said. “Next week,” the human rain delay answered. And we all know what happened. The store closed and we ended up in our worn-out spots on the old, tired couch. We walked back into the store yesterday. A guy in a black mask caught us as soon as we walked in the door. We found the same set that we decided on. “Draw up the paperwork,” I said. We even threw in a couple of lamps. Start to finish, we were out of there in a half an hour. Or would’ve been. I was signing the paperwork when Kathy came around the corner. “Hold up. I want to add a mattress for Jake.” Bah! Another 10 minutes ...

Buffalo, New York topped the news on Thursday night. Quick recap is that there was a protest downtown regarding George Floyd and police brutality and a curfew was set for 8:00. Close to curfew time, the cops moved in and began shooing people away. A 75-year-old man, who’d been reportedly very vocal during the actual protest, actually moved towards the cops. He was certainly animated and irritated, but it looked like less than a threatening encounter. A cop looked to push the elderly man back, and he stumbled, and fell hard. His head appeared to make contact with concrete. He appeared to be down for the count. All of that is difficult enough, but the key part of the video for me came shortly after the man went out cold. Another cop bent down as if he were going to assist him, but another cop stops the act of kindness. They all walked away. Callous. And the nastiness appears to be the real sin here. We’ve had a lifetime of nastiness in the last three years. There are mill...

Back in 1986, I’d just finished college. Me and my buddies would play softball and then sit at a table at the Fox’s Den slopping pizza and wings and drinking pitchers of draft beer. We’d raise our glass to toast our good fortunes. “Twenty-one, white and free!” Was our rallying cry. We had white privilege and we knew it. Sitting there in a basically white town, we were aware. In 1988, I moved onto a job in New Haven, Connecticut. I shared an office with a young, black engineer. We’d both graduated college the same year. He did everything the right way, but he lacked self-confidence. He couldn’t speak at the meetings. He’d get nervous and lose his spot. I have always been comfortable doing public speaking and I remember busting his chops. “I always felt I was under a microscope,” he said. “But you’re brilliant. What did you get on your SAT’s?” I asked. Surprisingly his score was a lot lower than mine. But he had an engineering degree! “I took that test and I’d never onc...

My sister-in-law, Carilee was a lot of things to me. First, she was family. We shared a love for a lot of people. Secondly, she was a reader of this blog. Every day. She didn’t let me know it at first, but one time, at a party she said, “You got that wrong.” I don’t remember the subject but I laughed. “So, you read the blog?” “Always,” she said. “And sometimes you’re right.” And that’s the third thing I’m gonna’ miss: We both loved to argue. After all the years we also were well aware of how to push each other’s buttons. Carilee would sometimes start it with a shot about the Yankees. I distinctly recall her posting about a bad loss. She hated baseball. She was posting for one reason only. I answered by posting a photo of Tom Brady with all those rings on his fingers, and it was on! Thing is, anyone looking in might believe that we couldn’t stand one another, but I can honestly say two things: I was never actually mad at her, ever, and we agreed on a lot ...

I laughed out loud when I read the following line: “Hell is going to be filled with so many fake-ass Christians I won’t even be able to find a spot to warm my feet.” I’ve long hated the people who sit in a church on Sunday and act like complete, degenerate a-holes the rest of the week. There are a million of them. William Barr, and Mike Pence consider themselves to be very strict religious men. Really? I watched Pence tour a facility where they kept Mexican children in cages and emerge saying, “it’s like summer camp for them.” He claims a whole lot when it comes to peace and love and honesty and he stands beside a liar and lies for him. I have no use for that. William Barr? My God! And I’m running the risk of hypocrisy as I appear to be judging them, but I spent a lot of time in church. I’ve read the Bible. I know most of the stories by heart because I’ve heard them ten times each. I even studied the Bible in college, leading one of my good buddies to knock on m...

Tear gas is banned from use in conflict. Last night it was used to clear protesters from the front of a church so Trump, after declaring that the military would be used to gain order, could walk across the street and hold a Bible. Upside down. Trump used a law from 1807 to day that he is the president of law and order and he will use force... ...to restore order. That’s force against American citizens. It’s hard to believe. Feels like a dictatorship. Nary a word from Congress. The Democrats are sending strongly worded tweets. The Republicans who are supposed to be conservative and have always preached little government interference aren’t saying a single word. The thing that got me is that we didn’t hear from Trump from Friday through Sunday, other than tweets meant to ignite. Word is that he was hiding in a bunker for a little while. And the curious thing was: He talked with Putin on Monday. I received a message from a friend: “Now what?” “This might be the w...

It makes my stomach churn. I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night. Four nights straight. “Don’t look at Twitter,” I lecture myself. But then I do. And I scroll looking for the divide. It’s always there. Left versus right. “Those are ANTIFA!” “That’s a White Supremacist!!” And the cities are burning. People are angry. The racial tensions are real and certainly warranted in the case of the Minneapolis murder. Yet there is also tremendous anxiety because people are sick and grieving, courtesy of the virus. They’re broke and scared due to the unemployment and the government back turned to them. Believe it or not, there are millions of people going to bed hungry. And here’s the thing: There’s no leadership at all. No calming voice coming from the West Wing. He’s rooting for more. America is burning. 2020. I thought there’d be flying cars. We went backwards.