Happy Birthday

There are so many moments...

...that I recall. Over and over again.

So many times when I think:

“Damn. He should be here.”

Today is Jeff’s Birthday. We should be going out somewhere for a drink. We should be planning a Yankee trip.

But we aren’t, and the light of life certainly dimmed back in 2009.

There was a moment this year when his son, John, (who Jeff would be so proud of) smiled.

I saw the light of Jeff in his eyes and on his face.

So, there’s not a lot left to do today...

...keep that running conversation going that I’ve been having since that horrible year, and just remember all the laughs.

About a week ago, I was in a group text with a couple of buddies and we went all the way through the memories of the golf trip we took back in 2008.

“He wrote Cliff is a fat bastard in the sand trap,” Chris texted.

“He unhooked his own partner’s golf bag and drove as fast as he could down a hill and there were golf clubs up and down the fairway.”

And on and on.

We laughed.

“I miss him every day,” another guy chimed in.

“Tell me about it,” I said.

And to be honest with you, I still don’t much understand it. I still think about how much it sucks, and I still hope there will be an answer...

...so I’ll let it be.

And I don’t really care for alcohol anymore, but I need to raise a glass...

...and toast my brother on his birthday.

Happy Birthday, Jeff...

...the love has grown.

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