Thoughts of a Common Man

“Turn this off, please,” I said, as the news of the latest shooting was being broadcast. “Those poor people, but same garbage coverage every time.” Kathy switched it to a rerun of Seinfeld. Better. Am I’m not being insensitive to the victims of the latest mass-shooting, but I just couldn’t stand to here their loved ones beg the government to make changes so their deaths wouldn’t be in vain. On this particular issue... ...their deaths will be in vain. “My government won’t rest until there’s an end to violent crime,” was the official White House statement on this one. Really? Working tirelessly, huh? Yet, even as Kramer and George filled the screen I thought about what my son said when he heard about the shooting: “At least it wasn’t a school this time.” It made me think that all of us are taking chances when we walk out the door. We could be grabbing a coffee at the convenient store and some unstable person could decide that that’s where he wants to make his stat...

So, she roped me in. “You gotta’ watch ‘This Is Us.’,” Kathy kept saying, and I finally caved. The reason I hesitated was because it was SO popular. When all the middle-aged woman are posting every week about how hard they cried at the new episode... ...well, it might be a little too sappy. And there’s certainly moments when the sugar is a tad too sweet, but like any other good art, it’s about the characters stupid. Mandy Moore is as cute as can be. She steals every scene that she’s in, and her relationship with her husband and her kids... ...it’s pretty great. (I haven’t actually admitted it yet though!) The sibling relationships are pretty great too, and I’ve enjoyed how they’ve been able to break that all down. And there’s loss. Real loss that hits home too. The thing about television these days is that all the episodes are right there. You can watch 35 straight hours of ‘This Is Us’ if you’re so inclined. We don’t have that kind of time, of course, so it’s a...

I have a buddy who still plays rec league hoops. I’m approaching 54 years of age and have been retired from such action for a long time. My buddy is actually 3 years older than me. “I’ve been feeling some pain in one of my hammy’s,” he said, as we went to lunch. He ordered a salad. I went with the fried bologna. “How are you still playing?” I asked. He pointed at the salad. Dope. My boys play every day. I returned from work the other day and Jake immediately went for my keys. “Where you going?” “We’re going to get buckets,” Jake said. That’s new. We’d call it shooting hoops. When I played in my 20’s and 30’s we’d play on Sunday mornings, Monday and Thursday nights. We’d get 15-20 guys and we’d run hard. I miss it. Jake and Sam and their friends also shoot in the driveway a lot. If I’m walking out they’ll toss the ball to me. I’ll take one shot. It’s been years since I made one! And I could really shoot. A couple of weeks ago, I stopped out at my Mom’s ...

I had a stray thought as I went about my day yesterday: “How is this civil war going to play out?” Maxine Waters came out and riled up the people on the left by telling them to confront those who work in the administration. I don’t think she was actually calling for violence against every Steven Miller, Huckabee Sanders, or Steve Bannon that you see, but she wasn’t looking for them to find much comfort at work, at rest or at the movies. Trump didn’t ignore it. His tweet appeared to fan the flames and there was a threat involved as he seemed to say that Maxine,  (with the extremely low I.Q.) was in for a world of hurt. Then Huckabee Sanders made a speech on civility, Melania (of the I don’t care jacket) spoke of ‘Be Best’ and at a rally at the end of the day, Trump labeled the press as ‘the enemy of the people.’ As Chevy Chase said when he jumped in the pool to swim with Christie Brinkley in the first Vacation: “This is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy.” I’ve been...

Sarah Huckabee Sanders and some of her friends visited a restaurant in Lexington, Virginia and they were promptly asked to leave the Red Hen by the owners who had a moral problem with serving her because of who she works for. Wow. This is coming after the baker refused to bake a cake for a gay wedding. It’s also on the heels of a Kentucky clerk not wanting to hand out marriage licenses to gays. It was bound to happen. It’s also bound to get worse. The divide in the country is now a gaping wound. The children in cages at the border felt like something different because there has been a great outrage. Sarah Huckabee Sanders has a horrendous job, but she has also been absolutely defiant as she has tried to pass off the lies and half-truths as universal, and biblical statements of morality. She has been trapped in lies, and she’s embarrassed by it, but (with the exception of last week when she didn’t show at all) she has stood there and rolled out one crazy statement after an...

So, all of my children are now at least 18 years old. That’s mind-boggling! I must admit that I still do a lot of things for them, but to think that they’re all enough to vote! Sam took a bit of a beating as the youngest. He’s always been willing to help and at least 10 times every day someone calls his name. “Sam, let the dogs out“ “Sam, get me a water.” “Sam, where’s my charger?” Poor kid is always on call. And to be honest, up until this past year, he never complained. That stupid video game that they’re all playing now has slowed Sam’s response time. He’s had a great year. Villanova won a title for him. He graduated from high school. He’s downed at least a thousand chicken fries and the Yankees are in first. Sam has always been the heartbeat of the house. His personality is generally upbeat, and he’s kept peace by doing all the legwork. And Sam turning 18 is a strange thing for all of us. We keep wondering what this place is going to be like in three years, ...

I wasn’t the world’s biggest Beatles fan. Like everyone else, I know nearly every song they ever performed and I enjoy 95% of them, but my passions certainly run deeper for other bands... ...including The Stones. Yet, I’ve always enjoyed each member of The Beatles. I wrote a college paper on John Lennon, and I always have claimed that he’s my favorite Beatle, but man, I really like Paul. I’ve heard Paul on Howard Stern numerous times, and he’s very open and honest and down-to-Earth. He’s always really passionate about his causes, and he speaks out when there are social missteps being made. I bring all of this up because I watched McCartney and James Cordon visit Paul’s old Liverpool stomping grounds. Catch it! It’s 23 minutes of a smile. They sing a few tunes, Paul talks about putting together a few songs: “Woke up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head.” Just fascinated me to no end when creative people talk about creating. Paul also told the story of his...

We ran into another Netflix series. This was one about the writer, Michael Peterson, who lost a couple of women in his life after they “fell” down a staircase. It’s amazing to me that they make these docs over years and years. Peterson was one weird dude. He couldn’t stop laughing about how he was being victimized by the prosecutors who couldn’t understand that people fall down the stairs and die all the time. He was just unlucky to have it happen to to him twice. There was a ton of blood. He loved his wife! She was his soulmate!! How could anyone even think that (just because he was trying to sleep with men through an escort service) that he didn’t love his wife. “I never cheated on my wife. I had sex with other men, but I didn’t have any affairs. Just sex.” “Is that a dealbreaker?” I asked my wife. “You having gay sex? Yeah. That might end it.” We laughed. Yet, there are 13 episodes of the documentary and in each one I grew more and more interested in the emotiona...

There are so many moments... ...that I recall. Over and over again. So many times when I think: “Damn. He should be here.” Today is Jeff’s Birthday. We should be going out somewhere for a drink. We should be planning a Yankee trip. But we aren’t, and the light of life certainly dimmed back in 2009. There was a moment this year when his son, John, (who Jeff would be so proud of) smiled. I saw the light of Jeff in his eyes and on his face. So, there’s not a lot left to do today... ...keep that running conversation going that I’ve been having since that horrible year, and just remember all the laughs. About a week ago, I was in a group text with a couple of buddies and we went all the way through the memories of the golf trip we took back in 2008. “He wrote Cliff is a fat bastard in the sand trap,” Chris texted. “He unhooked his own partner’s golf bag and drove as fast as he could down a hill and there were golf clubs up and down the fairway.” And on and on. We...

Some sunny days I wish it were raining. Thought of that yesterday because the first two days of the week were a little intense and I kinda’ needed a routine day. Just a quiet, workmanlike, day. Back in January of 2017 life changed in America. We went from days of once in a blue moon thinking about what our government was doing to: Spending every waking minute in chaos. By Wednesday morning we’d all heard the crying children. We’d seen them in cages. We’d listened to the inane comments of some. “If you get arrested in America your kids can’t go with you to jail!” Didn’t matter that people aren’t usually tossed in a cell on a misdemeanor. Losing your kids was the go-to penalty. By Wednesday we’d all heard Lewandowski downplay the 10-year old Down’s Syndrome child who’d been separated from her parents. Americans heard all of it... ...and there’s  fatigue. See, I didn’t want to talk about and yet, here we are. Everyone is getting sucked in. We are all shouting...

“Sam Fazzolari,” the principal said... ...and my youngest boy walked across the stage in his cap and gown and grabbed his diploma. 36 years after I made the same trek, my boys are all done. Weird. Years and years of watching them board the bus. Every once in awhile, they missed it and I drove them to school. School plays, sports, graduation ceremonies. Done. And the ceremony last night wasn’t too bad... ...a few speeches. The speakers talking about dreams, hopes, love and setting and achieving your goals. I thought about the kids who were listening who, then years from now, will end up living in a van down by the river. And that’s not being cynical. Life is hard. It’s a battle. If I were speaking I may have told them to work hard, love harder, grieve hard, and party hard. Just live life. So many people don’t actually live it. They go through the motions, and just get by... ...and then they get bitter and mean. Doesn’t have to be that way! My boys h...

“The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice.”  - MLK Jr. Well, I hope so. I try to see both sides of an argument. I really do. Immigration is a complicated issue that is made even more troublesome when you realize that there are lives at stake. We have heard a lot of things: “They’re taking our jobs!” In California, they’re trying to find someone to pick vegetables. No one wants to do it. Immigrants used to do it. “They’re coming across and going on welfare and getting free college while I have to pay for my own schooling!” Undocumented immigrants are not collecting welfare. They aren’t eligible. They aren’t getting free college. They aren’t allowed. But, regardless, those are tired, old arguments. It’s clear. The second and third generation immigrants who live here now... ...are acting as if America wasn’t built through the blood, sweat and tears... ...of immigrants. That doesn’t matter either. What matters is that there are chi...

Paul Manafort was wearing an Italian suit, an expensive watch, some bling (as the kids call it), and he drove up in a $100,000 vehicle. Hours later, he was in the pokey. Sent to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Manafort appears to have been a career criminal who (like a lot of other guys) steals as much money as he can while appearing to be a successful businessman. My least favorite kind of guy. But it ain’t about that. I spent a lot of time considering that culture shock of that first night behind bars. The door to his cell slamming shut. The sounds of the others who are also killing time because they can’t be trusted to behave enough to be around other members of society. What did he think in that moment? Manafort is a nearly 70-year-old man. He’s spent most of his adult life as a rich man. If you were to try and measure his life, you would have most likely believed that he was a successful guy. And, of course, he’s innocent until proven guilty, but the...

I don’t know why, but I often think about Father’s Day in 1996. That was a weekend when I played in a softball tournament at the Strawberry Festival in North Collins. It was a two-day tourney and the team I was on just kept winning, and we just kept drinking beer, and laughing. My sister came down to the park to let me know that pasta would be ready by 4:00, and that it was Father’s Day so we’d all be there. We had a break in the games that allowed me to head home to eat, and I get a clear picture from that day... ...Dad was in the garage. The sauce was in the roaster. There were meatballs, ribs and chicken in the sauce. My brothers, sisters, Mom and about ten other people filled the garage, and we were all talking, and laughing. The Yankee game was on the television. “There he is!” Dad yelled as I walked in. “My son finally showed up.” “Happy Father’s Day,” I said. “Just eat!” Dad said. “Rigatoni.” Dad would’ve been 58 years old that year. “Yankees are winning,” ...

The sun was shining on Friday morning, and I don’t care who you are or what you do when you get to the space in time where you just have to battle through one more shift and then you’ll get a day... ...you feel better. I got in the car and the radio was on a news channel. They were playing a clip of Rudy Giuliani and I just couldn’t take it. I went to the 80’s station and they were playing “Hey Mickey!” I couldn’t do that either. I tried Classic Rock and it was Aerosmith. Also not my favorite. “It’s on you, Bruce.” And I got the very first note of my all-time favorite. “The Promised Land.” By 7:15 in the morning I was shouting the lyric: “The Dogs On Main Street howl cause they understand.” Now, I’ve heard the song at least 1,000 times, but when the saxophone joins the harmonica and Bruce and Clarence play together for a couple of minutes... ...I get Bruce bumps. Every time. “There’s a dark cloud rising from the desert floor. I pack my bags and I’m heading...

A story made the rounds yesterday about a mother breastfeeding her child. The pair were from Ecuador, I believe, and they were looking for asylum. Not sneaking in. Not smuggling drugs. Not running guns. They were looking for help. Didn’t find it. They were separated...before the feeding was even over...and the child was moved to a cage. There is some dispute as to the validity of the story (its being disputed by those who allegedly did it) but the story did ring true when the attorney general stepped up and began quoting the Bible to back up the lack of compassion. Seriously. Jeff Sessions said that following the rule of law is in the Bible. He’s certainly cherry picking a bit, don’t you think? It appears he skipped all the compassion stuff. That’s what truly pissed me off about it. We have some strange ideas of what America means these days. There are plenty of people who no longer want people coming to America. “Send ‘em back!” Appears to be the new rallying cal...

So, Kim Jong Un is talented. He kills his own people. Starves them and forces them to have abortions. Talented. Because he was tough in his take-over. Justin Trudeau is a weak-minded incompetent who’s taken advantage of America because... ...America actually has a trade surplus with Canada? Makes zero sense. Yet, in upside down world... ...Kim Jong Un’s popularity has increased with one party members while Trudeau’s numbers are in the tank with that same group. Then there was a report that said that Jared and Ivanka made $82 million last year while working for the government. That’s a lot of skim... ...but can you imagine what the skim is for the top dog? We’ll never know! Can’t get him to open the books. And, of course, Robert DeNiro was in the news for twice saying, “F**k Trump” while introducing the incomparable Bruce Springsteen at the Tony’s. DeNiro got a standing ovation from the crowd at the event... ...and his very own tweet as a “very low-I.Q. I...

Jake is 21 years old today. It’s a funny thing, but I distinctly recall the moment when he arrived. I was absolutely blown away. I remember thinking, “those little feet are perfect.” His feet are big now. Seeing your child born is as much proof as I’ve ever needed. It’s an absolute miracle. And of course, with Jake, we were counting on a miracle. I love all my boys. I enjoy laughing with them. I enjoy watching them grow, and I’d do anything for them. That’s no sacrifice, either, by the way, but years and years ago, I was living alone in Connecticut, and there was a family living below me. The father was an absolute nightmare, screaming at his children, every minute of every day, and I thought, man, “When I’m a Dad.” My own Dad told me that the time flies by. Jake turning 21 today just highlights that for me... ...and man, he can make me laugh. If you’ve ever hung around Jake at a party, you won’t be able to help notice his quick wit. As a child, he was an ab...

A 35-year old man, who I saw on jobs from time to time crashed an all-terrain vehicle. He didn’t survive. One of my brother Jeff’s college friends reached out to me, after all these years to tell me how sorry he was. Was hard for me to have the conversation. I felt pretty good going into the weekend, but my legs were heavy. I needed a massage, but hadn’t scheduled it. Didn’t sleep through any of the last three nights. My boy turns  21 tomorrow. I fight myself because I feel anxious when I see him drive off down the road. I sigh in relief when I know he’s back in his room. That’s natural in life, right? My Dad once told me that no matter what age you are, you can look back 10 years and think: “What the hell was I thinking then?” I often do that. I look ahead too. Ten years will fly by... ...and I’ll be on the verge of 64. Crazy. “Isn’t it wild that Jake will be 21?” Kathy asked. “It’s hard to remember them young.” I have a pretty good memory. I ...

Rocket Man is widely considered an unstable, murderous dictator who oppressed his own people, and poisoned his half-brother. Or, he’s a very, very honorable man. Depending upon which version of Kim Jong Un that Trump is referencing. They’re supposed to meet on Tuesday in Singapore, and world peace will ensue as Trump, who’s been preparing for denuclearization of a murderous dictator, all of his life... ...great call for that sort of thing in the real estate game. Yet, there’s a lot to lose here. The world will watch as the two groups meet, lead by Trump and Kim Jong Un. The art of the deal may not work, but then again, what do I know. Our fearless leader, who is currently picking a fight with all of our allies will most definitely paint any sort of meeting as “something so exciting, the like of which the world has never seen.” Yet, the thing about spies and dictators and evil human beings... ...it’s hard to grasp the depth of their instability. It’s equally difficul...

Who knew? I always believed that Canadians were nice. Turns out they’re the biggest threat to our national security. Will they shoot hockey pucks at us? The G-7 summit turned into a 6 and 1 situation. There are photos making the rounds of world leaders...our allies...surrounding a defiant Trump who is sitting there with a smug look and crossed arms. Great look. And the defiance that he’s showing is an awful lot like the early morning tweets. “The deals are awful.” “I’ll fix it.” “We’ll see what happens.” Justin Trudeau seems like an amiable sort of guy. He pushed back as roughly as a Canadian pushes back, never once raising his voice, not throwing insults, didn’t even call anyone a name. Just said that tariffs would be answered with tariffs. And all the tough talk sounds great, but I listened to an economic expert the other day. “It won’t work,” he said. “And you know why it won’t work? Because we already tried it. George W.’s administration attempted to travel ...

Having little fashion sense, and having a wife who doesn’t shop for anything, I didn’t know who Kate Spade was, but I felt saddened by her taking her own life. I had a work friend who shot himself at the age of 45. He suffered greatly with back pain, and it got to be too much. I’ve been mindful of that as I’ve struggled with my own health difficulties, but I don’t suffer from depression. I’m too fired up about what life holds for me and my family. The second suicide of the week was a real surprise. Anthony Bourdain, by most accounts, appeared to have an amazing life. He traveled the world as a famous chef, and he partied with all kinds of famous people. He appeared to be thrilled with it all. I’m not sure what brings forth the amazing spiral. Every once in awhile I find myself thinking about Robin Williams. How does that happen? The suicide numbers are through the roof. It happens to people in all walks of life, and it’s tough for those left behind to consider it. ...

Kathy ran into an old friend of mine, Joe. He actually was an old iron worker buddy who took me under his wing, and like all the tough old ironworkers, he was cranky, said few words and never, ever talked about his feelings. When Kathy mentioned that she ran into him, I instantly thought of when we first met. It was on the job in Baltimore in 1991. I was the clerk of the works, handling payroll, ordering materials and safety. On the day when I first met my buddy, I was also in charge of making lunch. I wrote a check for petty cash and went to the grocery store for porterhouse steaks, baked potatoes and corn on the cob. I spent the better part of the morning cooking on the grill as Joe and Kevin worked to set up the 350-Ton Crane. Right at noon, the guys who were working their asses off busted through the trailer door. The steaks were a couple of pounds each, and they were waiting at their places. Neither guy said a word. I hadn’t yet officially met Joe. We ate in sile...

So, the Philadelphia Eagles didn’t get a tour of the White House. Evidently, the majority of the team decided that they didn’t want to stand there with Trump, and as one player succinctly put it, “I wouldn’t go to a party he was holding, why would I go there?” LeBron and Curry are on teams that may get invited next. They’ve already declined. And I am of the opinion that they should. “Get the son-of-a-bitches off the field,” are words of someone looking to fight, and not a leader. “When you’re a celebrity they let you do whatever you want,”  when talking about women, is not a great man-woman relationship starter. Kids in cages at the border, as they are purposely separated from their parents is now getting slaps from the United Nations. We used to be the leaders in the human rights questions. There are about a thousand more examples... ...so I’m more concerned with the handful of Eagles players who still wanted to go. So, let’s just make an announcement now: ...

Well, it happened again. Someone mentioned a moment and I had a great time recalling moments from an amazing day. June 4, 1984 was the day when Born in the USA was released. In those days, you had to actually go buy the music. Only one song had actually leaked from the record: “Dancing in the Dark.” We made plans to go buy the cassette the moment it was released. A little interesting tidbit for you, Born in the USA was the first work of music that was ever pressed onto a compact disc. Tom Rybak was the driver. My brother John sat in the middle and I was pressed against the door. We listened to Darkness on the way to the McKinley Mall. We had to stand in a line. (First time I ever stood in a line to buy music - not the last - the next 5 Bruce records went the same way). We made the drive back to North Collins. I was reading the lyrics. John was singing them! He’d never heard the song before...and he was off-tune, singing along. I wasn’t about to say anything be...

Okay, first we heard that no one had anything to to do with Russia. Then we heard there was a meeting they forgot about that was about adoptions. Then we found out it wasn’t about adoptions, but NO COLLUSION! Then they floated the idea that collusion isn’t a crime. And that the president couldn’t be indicted, or couldn’t actually obstruct justice. But yesterday’s tweet takes the cake: “I can pardon myself!” Wouldn’t that be nice! In what walk of life should any man or woman be able to do whatever they want, and then when they’re caught, and after they’re convicted they can say: “Uh, I’ve decided that I’m gonna’ cut myself some slack here! No punishment for me!!” When I heard what he’d tweeted I had a single thought: “Isn’t that enough with this guy?” He congratulates himself on job numbers, and the economy being the greatest maybe of all time! Meanwhile, a trillion dollars was added to the deficit and those who got the tax cut decided not to actually pay workers...

It’s been more than 3 weeks since the First Lady had a minor kidney procedure performed. She was in the hospital for the better part of a week. Despite the hate-filled glances she tosses Donald’s way, he tweeted that he was visiting her. The next day, he tweeted again: “Melanie,” was the name he used. Her name is “Melania.” And we haven’t seen her since. The media is really doing a sort of pitiful job of nailing down the jello-like facts of this administration. The questions are coming, of course, but the follow-up is a little light. There was a tweet from her account. It contained all the nastiness of a tweet that could’ve come from the same dude who sends out a number of nasty tweets every day. But who knows? There was a rumor that she’d moved out of the White House and back to New York. That wouldn’t be ideal as taxpayers would once again be on the hook for 3 residences  again. Another rumor stated that she was plotting the divorce that everyone knows is ...

My dogs really love me. I can’t move from a room without them following me, and they very often drive me crazy by staring me down. They also know how to tell time, somehow, so they get highly irritated when their time to eat, or their time to go to bed is a little late. I often try to let Melky know that it’s the weekend, and we have an extra hour before we head up. She was a little uneasy this weekend. Melky’s rabies shot was due. It expired earlier in the year, but she wasn’t feeling great. We debated about how to get it done, and there was a free clinic at a local community college. Melky always had a rough go at the vets as they were always a little nervous... ...and Melky gets nervous too. Well, she wanted zero to do with the clinic. In fact, she put on a show. I got her out of the car okay, and she took a few steps towards the clinic area, but somewhere along the way, she figured it out... ...and sat down. Melky might be 12, but she’s still as strong as a bull. ...

So, my son Sam is going to the prom with his one true love. My nephew, Johnny. It really was a no-brainer. The two of them are inseparable even though they live hundreds of miles away. Johnny is always on the phone, usually on FaceTime. We slowly got the plan out of them. They’d be going to the prom, hopefully behaving, and each in a suit. “I ain’t wearing a dress,” Johnny said. Then there were rumors of them heading to a cabin where they’d hang out with about 100 other kids. “I don’t want them to go,” Kathy said. “Why not?” “‘Cause they’re stupid, and they’ll be sleeping in a tent.” “I slept in a tent every weekend,” I said. “But you didn’t go swimming in a creek, or a body of water that you didn’t know anything about.” “We did. We also had a B.B. gun fight. We played hide and seek at 1 in the morning, running through the woods in the pitch dark.” “That’s stupid, and what about you now? They go out of the house and you text them, wondering where they are. Did...

When I was a kid there was one thing that I was consistently in trouble for: I didn’t put the newspaper back together when I was done reading it, or I was actually reading it when my Dad wanted it. My love affair with the newspaper has gone on all my life, and I’m one of the few guys who still buys one every day. The gas station/convenience store has 20 brought in each day, and they rarely sell all of them. They used to get 50. My children have never taken the paper from me. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen one of them reading it, but if I mention a story, they’ve already seen it online somewhere. I bring this all up because I’m sad. Bucky Gleason took a buy-out, and so did Jerry Sullivan (among others). The paper is now down to 3 sections and some of the weekly features are being eliminated. It’s happened all over the country. The newspaper industry is dying. The entire industry is being attacked as fake news, or failing this or dying that and what’s stepping into the v...