Thoughts of a Common Man

I’ve kind of mentioned that 2017 was a year of chaos for me. I hate chaos! All good on the family front, which is the most important thing. We got up and went to work every day. We found a way to get along, despite the fact that neither of us felt very well, physically. Despite the fact that I spent a lot of time on a massage table, didn’t golf, and rested more than I ever have (after work - see tomorrow)... ...I felt worse. Kathy also suffered as day after day on her feet, as a nurse, had her ending the year asking: “Where’s my cane?” Yet, there’s still a satisfying aspect to both of our chosen jobs. We work in a field where we are helping other people. I try to keep them safe, and Kathy tries to get them healthy. You have to enjoy what you do, and neither of us has lost that spark. Can we get healthier? I listen to the docs. I try to stretch. It’s a frustrating battle, but as I’m fond of saying: “I don’t have cancer.” America felt chaotic to me. I wonder why. ...

This was a weird work week. Not only is the week between Christmas and New Year’s odd because people take it off, but the brutal cold shut down things even further. I don’t know how to down rate the capacity. I like going 100 miles an hour. Weird thing is that I had a New York City trip set up. In and out in one day. Flight out at 6:30. Flight back at 5:30. Woke up at 2:35... ...sick! Nothing earth-shattering but the first day of a cold perhaps? Perfect! So, I’m going from a laid-back week, with a coming cold into the biggest city in the world. New York is an odd place. I remember going there for the first time. My Dad had tried to explain how massive it is. When I called him from the city he said, “So?” I said: “Why didn’t you tell me how big it is?” And I’ve been there a hundred times and every single time I think: “Man, this place is big.” So many people. So much of a hassle. Driving is absolutely crazy. Watching people is fascinating. For instance: I...

Hard to believe that it’s been nearly 20 years since Irv Weinstein retired from doing the nightly news here in Buffalo. Irv passed away earlier this week. I immediately thought of the USA Hockey win over Russia in 1980. I was watching the game on tape delay on Irv’s channel. Game was tied at two. “USA stuns Russia!” Irv told me during the commercial break. Other than that... ...he was the perfect newsman for this town. He was with Tom Jolls and Rick Azar for years. Everyone watched Channel 7 back then. We all wanted to hear about the fires, the criminals and that’s where we got our news back then. Guys and gals who read the news were trusted... ...we didn’t hear or believe that it was actually fake information. And, so, Irv was the toast of the town. He was the most recognized man not counting the sports stars. By all accounts he was a good guy and he represented the city well. He was a little guy, with big glasses, big ears... ...not exactly a media darling. ...

I should hate them like everyone else does. Especially here in Buffalo. But I don’t. I’ve always enjoyed watching Brady play QB and Belichick humors me. The precision. The attention to detail, and the no-nonsense approach to work are all favorable to me. I also rather enjoy that they’re hated. Yet, the calls that went in their favor over the last two weeks were horrendous. Which isn’t their fault! There’s no conspiracy. The game wasn’t given to them on Sunday, for sure. It was still tied! They outscored the Bills 24-3 in the second half. And don’t tell me about momentum. Didn’t the Falcons have momentum last February? But, here’s the thing: I was rooting for the Bills on Sunday. My poor boys have zero recollection of a playoff game! They hate Brady and Hoodie with everything in their hearts. Or do they? “You can have five years of Brady for 2 number one picks. Do you do it?” They both said ‘Yes.’ But back to the NFL and their stupid rules. Replay is cr...

It's just so weird that the end of the year stuff makes me think of what needs to be different in the coming year. It shouldn't make a difference, right? Time is a man-made deal and to come up with a list of things that you'd like to change or do different just because the year changes from 2017 to 2018... ...well, it's kinda' weird. Yet we all seem to do it! The gym memberships go through the roof for January and by February 1... ...they lapse and people are left wondering: "Why the hell did I think I was going to change?" And the truth of the matter is that people really don't change. I was talking with my father-in-law on Christmas and we unfortunately got around to talking about his brother, who passed away last week. "Getting older is rough," he said. "A few months ago, my brother called me all excited because he was able to make bubbles." "What?" I asked. "He had prostate cancer. He went ...

There was a moment, as we gathered at my Mom’s for Christmas Eve, when booming laughter filled the room. Jake was holding court, doing a comedy sketch about the gift exchange game we were playing. It’s been years since so much laughter filled that space, and by the time Jim set up Dean Martin singing beautifully, I was thankful. “This music makes me think we’re in a movie from the 20’s where we are racing away from a bank robbery,” Jake said. More laughter. On Christmas morning the boys gathered in their usual spot beside the tree. They were in same positions as they’ve been for years and years. How they had grown and changed, but still our little boys. They tossed a gift back to me. “You know you’re cooked when your first gift is a pair of compression socks,” I said. Yet I was excited! My feet swell up especially when I fly. One of the gifts came with a card featuring Clarence Clemons. (I miss the Big Man). I knew it was going to be a good gift and it was. A Sp...

Last December I ran into a guy on a job. I’ve known the guy for about 20 years. I saw him once a week. We always had warm words for one another as I checked his job for safety problems and he always, promptly, fixed whatever it was I pointed out. A real professional relationship. Of course, we talked as well. We’d tell each other about our kids, complain a little about our wives and commiserate about our own health and long days on our feet. He was always sympathetic to my limping around. Last December he broke some news. “I have brain cancer. I’m going to be out of commission for a little while.” The thing about this guy is that he has hands that are the size of a catcher’s mitt, and when he shook your hand, it stayed shook for about an hour. We shook hands that day. “I’m sorry you’re going through it,” I said.’ “I’m good. My daughter is getting married in September and I have a cruise booked for next October.” His children mean the world to him. He loves to hit th...

It’s been a pretty trying year. It’s kind of been a little chaotic, hasn’t it? And some of it is on me, I suppose. I’ve watched, read and listened to way too much about the political storm that has dominated the landscape. I’ve actually tried to not pay attention... ...but it’s a daily disaster, actually. The tweets come in, and everyone responds. For the next 8 hours there are denials, “He didn’t mean that”, and follow up tweets. Back in January I mentioned: “We can’t sustain this.” But here we are. A new normal, I suppose, but it’s been an odd year for me personally because so much about my personal and professional life is about control. I just want to know that things are going to be all right. Peace of mind, I suppose. And Christmas has always been about peace to me. People are nicer. You see people who you love. You laugh a little. Things seem all right. Yet, there was bad news on the horizon... ...as Trump went off to Florida where there are l...

I don’t do a whole lot in the way of gathering the presents. I certainly contribute financially, but I can’t remember the last year I headed to the store to pick out gifts. I kind of miss it. I used to get something for everyone. Then it came down to just getting something for Kathy. I had tried buying all of her gifts, but really screwed up when it came to picking out clothes. She’d return most of them. So, I got demoted. Then I figured out that the boys liked to go to sporting events so I’d just buy them tickets. You know what you miss out on when you don’t have to shop anymore? Crowds, traffic, driving in the snow, endless Christmas songs (Santa Baby), not knowing what to get, not knowing how to wrap. And I’m not cooking this year. Normally we have Christmas at our house... ...this year it’s at my sister-in-laws. So, pretty laid back. But Kathy kinda’ broke some bad news at the last minute. “I’m scheduled to work on Saturday and Sunday. You’re going to ha...

For the last three days I’ve been doing OSHA training for about 75 working guys, all total. I’ve known most of them for years, but I always begin the class by talking about my time as a union laborer. I distinctly recall my first day as a laborer. Dad was driving me to a job I knew nothing about. I’d always been a writer. A guy who read books in every free moment. A guy who was starting college and was going to write great novels and not have to get my hands dirty. “You’re the boss’ son,” Dad said. “Break your ass every day. Don’t ever let anyone say that you didn’t earn every nickel.” I recall that first day too. I’d been on a jackhammer. I was covered in dirt, dust and sweat at the end of the day. Every muscle ached. “How’d it go?” Dad asked. “It was awesome.” 34 years later... ...still in construction. Now standing before the guys who ache every day. And I was aching. Legs buzzing, back just an absolute mess. Standing in front of the room talking for long stretch...

They’re partying in rich man’s land for Christmas. It’s always absolutely blown my mind that the rich have persuaded the middle to blame the poor for money problems. 83% of the tax cut is going to the top 1% of the population. That’s not me saying that. It’s the experts sharing their review of the bill. “The Dow is setting records!” Donald Trump “We need to pass this cut to help the stagnant economy,” also Donald Trump. Which is it? If the rich are already breaking records. If corporate profits are at an all-time high... ...why? Why are they getting massive amounts of money? There are a number of people who voted on the bill who stand to make millions off the passage of the bill. Rich people getting richer. You’ll hear plenty of that... ...you’ll even hear people who will really suffer because of this... ....defend it. I went to a calculator that they had set up for this. I put in my info and it showed that for the next 5 or 6 years I will get a small redu...

This is a tough work week... ...everyone is distracted. Christmas brings a lot of extra work to get ready for a couple of days of fun. I had a half a mind to make it an easier week, but one of my contractors called me and begged me to do a 10-hour training class for his employees. “Let’s do it after Christmas,” I said. The guy called me every morning for a week. Finally, I got sick of his voice. “Fine! We’ll do it!” Over the last year or so I’ve been setting my alarm a half an hour early. I wake up and try my best to get my legs working before I put them on the floor. It also gives me a little time to plan. I didn’t want to get up on Tuesday. I thought about doing the training and I was kinda’ irritated, but then I thought of something: Springsteen on Broadway Tickets were on sale at 10:00. I’d failed in my efforts to get them twice. Yet, there was a promise. Pops had received an email saying that he was going to get a code. I got out of bed before my half hour ...

The parties at Grandma & Grandpa Fuzzy’s House on Christmas Eve were epic. Grandma made pizza (among so many other dishes). I swear, I can still taste the pizza with anchovies. And the party was sort of different because everyone came by in waves. The Schryvers, The Bantles, The Switalas, The Gallegos, The Georges...other Fuzzy family members. Coming and going, eating and laughing. Grandpa held court in the living room and we all stopped by his chair. Then we’d hop across the street and hang with Uncle Herb and Aunt Rosalie. Our cousins were like bonus siblings. “Who’s going to Midnight Mass?” As youngsters John an I often served mass. Just a few weeeks back we had a laugh remembering the time that John had way too much pizza at Grandma’s and threw up on the priest’s shoes. Father Weiss was furious! Christmas Day celebrations were even more boisterous. I can still see Mom and Dad working together to get the mountains and mountains of food ready... ...and there wer...

A guy on Twitter posted the following: “There was a time when you and your friends went out to play, for the last time, and none of you actually knew it.” Pulls at the heartstrings, right? I instantly thought about the baseball games we used to play in my parents backyard. We used to play with a tennis ball. A hit into the pool was a homerun. Kids came from all over to play. The games ended when our power (mostly Renaldo’s power) had us hitting bombs off the house...which was a long ways away. Regardless, there was a final game... ...and none of us were aware. Things change, but it doesn’t mean we can’t miss them! I thought of it again as the tree went up. Our kids used to pull us out of bed by 5:00 when they were aware that Santa was due. Those were rough mornings, especially after a little egg nog, but now... ...I miss it. There had been a last time there. And I read through the comments on the thread. “One day your mother put you down and never picked you...

December 16th is actually a little early for us. Thing is, it’s the same tree that we’ve been putting up for about 15 years or so. It never actually looks great, and we had a little thought to getting a new one. Sam wouldn’t hear of it. “That tree has to make it all the way through all of our childhoods.” So, we dug the tree out, and stood it up. “You two are decorating it,” I said. I checked out as they were discussing it. A couple of hours later I popped back to check their progress. The Yankees ornaments were in place. “Slight problem,” Sam said. “What?” He flipped a switch and the lights only would around the top third of the tree. “It’s impossible to untangle them.” “They can be untangled,” I said. “It takes time.” “Well, the way we see it,” Sam said, pointing to Jake. “Is that WE can’t untangle them. It appears to be a job for Mom.” And normally I would agree. I don’t have a lot of patience, but later on, as I was just watching a show, I said: “Give ...

I was in Syracuse all through the day on Friday, but I had an eye on the weather reports for Buffalo. Winter Weather Advisory The three worst words in the English language, if you ask me. I hate winter. The freezing fingers, the long underwear, slipping on ice, did I mention the cold... ...and the worst part... Driving in a weather advisory. It’s 154 miles from door to door. I started counting back early on into the trip, but I’d also mentioned that if things got bad I would bail and find a hotel. 100 miles left... ...I texted Home and asked about the weather. (Wasn’t texting and driving). “Not bad,” was the answer. Rochester, Batavia...all behind me...still clear. I had 22 miles to do when I saw my first snowflake. It was 6:09 p.m. By 6:15, I was driving at 6 m.p.h., following the lights of the truck in front of me. Unable to see AT ALL!!! In the next 45 minutes I traveled 7 miles. I also prayed, sang “The Weather Outside Is F*****g Frightful” and nea...

Welp. They’re coming for the Internet. Yesterday’s vote means that your service provider can slow things down, certain sites may now have a fee attached. You paying for Facebook? Me neither. I caught the first five minutes of a speech from the blobiating orange dude (all I could take of the snorting, sniffling, heavy breathing and slurring). “Regulations. Gotta’ get rid of all the heavy regulations.” Sure. What could go wrong? Remember when the banking industry had those pesky regulations relaxed? You know why you need regulations? One word. Greed. You know what the net neutrality argument is all about? One word. (See above). Who knows? Maybe we just take a deep breath and see how it all works out. I don’t know if too many people who were thinking: “Damn, the internet access is really cool, I hope someone can figure out a way to charge us for it.” I also don’t know anyone who was thinking: “Damn! We need to start taking care of the rich dudes!!” ...

By now you’ve probably seen the heartbreaking video of the young boy from Nashville who had been bullied. I read a lot about it, but hesitated when it came to actually watching the video. I knew it would be sad, and man, it is. Keaton is talking to the camera about children who are making fun of him because of how he looks. He wonders why. He tries so hard to figure it out. His tears really pull at your heart strings. About halfway through it, however, I started thinking about how Keaton wouldn’t be getting his wish. Anti-bullying??? Seems like a lost cause to me. Go to a comments section on anything political... ...that’ll cure you of thinking we can possibly be nice to one another. Keaton garnered a lot of attention from sports stars and movie stars. A lot of very positive messages, and just when you think it’s a real feel good story... ...someone went to Keaton’s mom’s Facebook page. The rebel flag was prominently featured and soon enough... ...get this... ...

If the wintry blast of this weekend is any indication, I’m going to be watching a lot of television. I don’t want to drive on snowy roads at all anymore. I’ll take the dogs to the corner to grab the paper, but after that, I’m in. So, I have to get a few commercial aggravations off my chest. I hate the one where the woman congratulates a man (her husband, I presume) for loading the dishwasher, and then she inspects his work. “Nope, nuh-na, nada, not even close,” she says as the poor bastard stands there looking like a dope. The commercial is for dish detergent and the narrator tells us that you can now put any dirty dish in there... ...without getting dressed down by the bitchiness of a condescending wife. Seriously, look at the poor guy. He does everything but cry. By the time she removed dish two on me I might have said: “Stick those dishes...” But the dilly-dilly beer commercial is funny. Guy breaks out of a dungeon and buys beer on his escape, but returns. ...

It was mentioned that there was a chance that heavy snow might visit the area at the precise time that the Bills game was set to start. My cousin very generously passed on his tickets for the game to my boys and their buddy. “You’re out of your minds,” I said, as the snow began to fly. “It’ll be fun,” they said. Before kickoff, Jake sent a text: “I’d come home if the rest of them agreed.” Then I didn’t hear anymore... ...and I had the game on television. I could hardly see it. Had zero idea what yardline they were on. For the longest time I figured that it would end 0-0. By the time it was all over, about 4 hours had passed. The boys talked about how cold it was, but were happy with the win. “How much would they have to pay you to get you to sit outside in that to watch football?” I asked Kathy. “A lot,” she said. “A thousand bucks?” I asked.’ “I still probably wouldn’t do it,” she said. Over a foot of snow fell. The wind was whipping. “I probably wo...

We have a problem. Our standards have been lowered, lowered and lowered to the point where we are on the verge of allowing a man who is being dogged by accusations of child molestation to be elected to the senate. There are people arguing for him! I read an interview with a man from Alabama who said that there are plenty of parents in that state who would be honored to have their daughter receive the attention of a man as powerful as Roy Moore. Seriously! We can do a whole lot better. And there’s way too much of the “What about him?” Argument. Mention that 20 women have said that Trump assaulted them and you get a “What about Bill Clinton?” And vice-versa. Here’s the thing: How about this? There’s credible information that you’re a creep, you’re gone. Does that work? Moore was actually endorsed!!!! “The accusations are troubling,” the White House said. What they didn’t say is that a child molester is better than a liberal... ...but that’s exactly what th...

A couple of years ago, Jake was trying to tell me that the Yankees had no future. “It’s going to be ten lean years,” he predicted. I laughed. “They’re the Yankees,” I said. “They always have a future.” Last year they were one game away from the World Series and much of that was because their rookie star (who should’ve won the MVP) hit more than 50 homers. But he didn’t lead the majors in homers. So, on Saturday, they went and got the guy who did lead the majors in homers. Giancarlo Stanton is a superstar. Welcome aboard. The future looks bright! And there will be a whole lot of crying because they will be spending a lot of money for Stanton over the next ten years. Here’s the thing: They got him for a song! Miami had to trade him... ...everyone knew it. They had deals in place with St. Louis and San Francisco but Stanton wouldn’t approve the deals. Miami was like a wounded animal... ...the Yankees swooped in. And now they’re absolutely loaded with ta...

Received a call on Thursday night. It’s weird to get calls now. I actually don’t care to talk on the phone. It’s so much easier to text, but I took the call because it was from an old friend who I don’t speak to very often. “I got the book yesterday,” she said. “I finished it today!” “That’s good, right?” I asked. “It’s amazing!” She said. “I’ve never read a book that fast. It usually takes me a month.” I laughed. “Well, it took me longer than that to write it,” I said. “When I started it, I wondered what is “The big D” and I was going to wonder if I liked it, but I ended up writing down some phrases that I really liked!” She read some of the phrases back to me. Then we started talking about the characters. She asked me who I had based one of the lead characters on. “No one, actually,” I said. “He was completely made up.” We talked about the plot and the fact that the book is set in Iowa. I mentioned that most of the story popped into my head in about three hour...

Never mind that the decision was extremely controversial, and may result in even more chaos in a part of the world where chaos is rampant... ...the end of Trump’s speech got a whole lot of attention. I was listening on the radio as I drove to a job. “What the hell?” I thought that my radio was going bad. Was he slurring his words? I didn’t think much about it until my day was over and I visited Twitter. The end of the speech was bigger news than the fact that Jerusalem was going to be home to an embassy. The White House said that it was dry mouth... ...yet I’ve had dry mouth during a speech. It never resulted in the heavy breathing that was unbelievably evident for long stretches of the speech... ...and the sniffling was back. Every three words there was a deep sniffle. Others were saying that his dentures fell out. Does he wear dentures? Fake teeth AND fake hair? Once more there were rumors of possible drug use. Tweet after tweet spoke of a cocaine or s...

Was driving in Ankeny, Iowa when I got in line at a red light behind a F-150 Pickup truck. The bumper sticker on the driver’s side rear: “I Used to Be Cool.” I laughed. “So did I,” I thought. My beautiful wife wasn’t with me, but I could almost hear her voice saying: “You were never cool.” And I probably wasn’t. We all like to think we were the greatest back in the day. When I’m recalling sports that I played with my buddies I always pretend that I was much more of a strong presence than I actually was. A specific game might enter the conversation and I’ll say: “I think I had 20 points and 18 rebounds in that one.” They’ll laugh. Or worse... ...remind me that I spent that particular game parked on the bench. Yet, that’s the thing about looking back. We tell ourselves a lot of stories, and shame on you if you aren’t cool in all of them. “The girls loved me,” I’ll often say to Kathy. “No they didn’t.” I spent a lot of years tellin my kids that I played in ...

My sister Corinne has a huge heart. Every time I think of her I smile. Through the years we’ve shared so much. We’ve laughed really hard. We’ve grieved together. The worst part about grieving with someone is that your hurt is their hurt and their hurt is your hurt. You want to help them through it all, but you can’t. Yet, Corinne’s strength has definitely given me strength. So, Happy Birthday!!! Of course, our favorite thing to do now is to get together and eat a little bit. Corinne, Chuck, me and Sam is a classic outing, and the food just flies around as we laugh our way through the meal. What’s weird about watching your siblings add another year is that they’re always the same age in your mind. 45 years ago we were Co-conspirators in getting up hours before we were supposed to on Christmas morning. I’m thinking Corinne was about ten then. She’s stuck right there in my mind. I’ll always be a younger brother to her... ...and we’ve always gotten along famou...

People who cheer for anything and everything Buffalo have already been conflicted. Gronk plays for the Patriots, but he’s from the Buffalo area. There are people who want to like him because he’s from Buffalo, but hate him because he plays for the hated team, and there are people who want to hate him, but kind of like him. Gronk took care of all of that on Sunday with an epically stupid play in Sunday’s game. The Pats were laying their usual beatdown on the Bills when late in the game The Greatest QB of All-Time threw a ball towards Gronk and Bills defender Tre White. It was a jump ball and White came down with it, which aggravated Gronk. White was flat on his stomach when Gronk jumped on him. That’s not a little thing. Gronk weighs about 290 pounds. White’s head bounced off the turf and concussion was immediately mentioned. After the game Gronk apologized, sort of. Hoodie apologized, calling it ‘bullshit’and Bills fans were out for blood. It was a really dumb thing...

I recall a job I had back in 1988. I was a union laborer, working in New Haven, Connecticut. My labor partner, Lonnie, was 60 years old. He looked older. He’d spent his days with a shovel in his hands. He had huge, calloused hands, and he tried, many times, to slow down a little. “You’re working us out of a job,” He’d say. “Pace yourself.” I distinctly recall one day in January. The wind was howling, snow was flying, and I was so damn cold that my teeth were chattering. Lonnie and I were stripping concrete forms following a pour earlier in the week. “Two damn years,” Lonnie said, leaning on his crowbar. “Then I retire.” “38 years for me,” I answered. He laughed. Lonnie would be about 90 now. I hope he is still kicking somewhere, enjoying his 29th year of retirement. There are rumors that the retirement age will now be raised to 70. Many people will never be able to hang up their work clothes. A lot of people start doing the math in their 50’s or so. Thou...

Woke to the news that the senate jammed a tax reform bill through. My handling of financial matters has never been a strong suit. If I have a little money in my pocket, I don’t much think about net worth, or future dealings. I have no idea how the stock market works, and wouldn’t truly feel comfortable gambling that way. It is gambling of sorts, right? So, when I hear that Wall Street has had a robust day it doesn’t mean a damn thing to me. Yet what I do know is that if tax money goes to the top, it isn’t coming back down. Trickle down is horseshit. Given the choice of forking money over to the worker bees, or buying a summer home, it will be the summer home every time! (For full disclosure, I have had a fairly stress-free life money-wise, but I have been up and out of my bed and off to work since about the age of 12. I work for a stable, employee-owned company and have been treated fairly). Yet, there are millions who have truly suffered... ...they’re also getting up...

Guess it wasn’t a hoax. I’ve been following along, and to be perfectly honest, the only thing that would surprise me, at this point, is if Trump isn’t charged. Sorry if you fell for it, but he’s been a thug for a long, long time. He lies without ever feeling bad about it, and in the end, he will find out that all the people he was conspiring with are going to line up to tell on him. John Flynn did the flip thing on Friday. Think back to the campaign trail. Flynn and Trump, arm-in-arm, chanting lock her up... ...as they were conspiring with a foreign country to rob our democracy of a free election. Scary stuff. When they were chanting, “Lock her up,” I recall thinking that it was an awful thing to be doing. The whole presidential race aside, it was a horrible thing to do during any election. We were headed that way. Elections have been getting progressively nastier through the years. The civil discord that we see in our society has been a direct result of how vile ...

I’m not the most festive of people when it comes to Christmas music. Give me a couple of spins of Bruce doing “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” and “Silent Night” on Christmas Eve and that’ll do it. I like a few others: “Father Christmas”, Bowie and Bing doing “Little Drummer Boy” (or Bob Seger) and “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” by Mellencamp. Okay...so I like a few. Problem is, I don’t like them in November, and I don’t like one Christmas song after another... ...and there are some I hate! “Dashing through the snow,” ugh! I stopped for a couple of hot dogs on Thursday for lunch. Thought it would be nice to spend twenty minutes eating instead of trying to eat when I drive to another job... ...and it was one bad Christmas song after another... And that damn, “Santa Baby” song got stuck in my brain. For the next three hours I was trying so hard not to hear it in my head! I went to a meeting. As the guy was talking to me I was thinking: “Santa Baby, coming ...