Thoughts of a Common Man

Was chatting with my mother on Saturday morning and while we never really discussed politics much as I was growing up the conversation swung around to Donald Trump. "Maybe I'm an old lady," Mom said, "But it seems like everyone is just plain mean now." I laughed. Trump has always been a little mean, that's for sure, but I like the fact that it's not lost on some people. Calling someone names isn't 'telling it like it is'... ...but it wasn't a political discussion by any means. Just an observation. And it brings me back to common professional courtesy. I was sort of blown away this week by a purely selfish act by a co-worker. But the conversation with Mom sort of reverberated. 'It seems like everyone is just plain mean now.' And perhaps it's always been that way. The business world is cut-throat. There's a lot of greed out there. It's a me-me-me world. I suggested as much to my mother. "

My beautiful niece, Paige came up to me during her recent visit and let me know that she had finished reading Waldorf & Juli as her summer reading assignment. The one thing she said was: "Write a Waldorf & Juli II, please." And it is really weird. It was a book that I wrote while I was writing another book, Desperation . Desperation had a really heavy feel to it and I decided to play around with Waldorf & Juli . I actually ended up finishing and publishing Waldorf & Juli first because once I started writing it I couldn't stop...because it was fun. But reading Paige's review I grew a little sad...because I had forgotten the plot. I forgot what it was about! Paige also included a couple of quotes in her review and as I read them through I thought, 'Damn, that's pretty good.' But what is really great is Paige's effort here! A book I wrote before she was born! And now she's asking for a sequel! Thank you, Paige...l

S pent the week really scrambling. Some work adjustments that need to be made. Lingering back pain and travel. Watching and reading about shootings that have now gone live. Listening to people fight for the gun that was used in the shooting. And in the middle of it all I was on an airplane when the voice of the unbelievable Annie Lennox filled my ear. I had bought her Naked record and placed it on my i-pod and instead of listening to the guy across the aisle on the plane slurp a plate of noodles...I heard Annie. A Thousand Beautiful Things. Every day I write the list Of reasons why I still believe they do exist (a thousand beautiful things) And even though it's hard to see The glass is full and not half empty (a thousand beautiful things) So, light me up like the sun To cool down with your rain I never want to close my eyes again Never close my eyes Never close my eyes I thank you for the air to breathe The heart to beat The eyes to see again (a thous

My boy Sam set me up. I knew that I'd be making a trip to Kansas City for work and I asked Sam to find me a seat at the Royals-Orioles game. He put me in the front row - mid-way between first base and the left field foul pole. The first seat! Now being that I was traveling alone some might wonder if I'd feel comfortable seated by myself at a ballgame. I love baseball. If there was an MLB team in my town I'd be at every game. The pace is perfect. People are smiling. The sun is shining. I watched every single pitch...mostly because I didn't want to take a line drive off my melon. I love the stadium and the people in Kansas City. I remembered Reggie hammering one into the fountain off Al Hrabosky. I sat beside a Dad and his three daughters. They were really well-behaved and the Dad knew his baseball. He wasn't thrilled that I'm a Yankee fan, but who the hell is? A great night. The bonus being that the Royals pounded the Orioles 8 to

Is this family going to go away now? Or will they continue to apologize... ...and preach? Poor misguided Josh. First the pesky 'molesting his sisters' revelations... ...then the Ashley Madison account and the 'unfortunate' cheating that he did on his wife. All the while telling the world about the sins of others. Anna is gonna' hang with him, by the way. After all...love is about forgiveness. Perhaps they can all teach us something. D.B.'s of the Week. The thing is: Josh is obviously a bit of a mess, right? But I feel a certain amount of true sadness with this story because... ...there are going to be people out there screaming about the path of redemption that the family will now take their followers on. Word is that they're 'praying around the clock' to get through the crisis. Good for them. They're such an inspiration! (sarcasm alert). Yet it's all just gossip... ...and I'm not really interested

I received the email exactly one minute before the woman at the counter broke the bad news: "The plane that we'll be taking is still on the ground in Buffalo." The guy seated beside me actually groaned. "Every damn time I take this flight they delay it," he said. We were scheduled to leave in a timely manner. Enough time for me to actually make it home in time to see the 27-Time World Champion New York Yankees strive for number 28. Now I'd be listening to the start of the game on my phone...in a hard seat...next to an angry, heavyset man who suddenly wanted to talk. "The thing that gets me is that they never say their sorry," I said. "Cause they ain't," he answered. "They don't care." Despite the groans at the announcement everyone at the gate went back to their phones, their paperbacks and their silent rage. "I gotta' move around," I said. "My back is in knots." I tried stretchi

I had an absolutely infuriating discussion about the poor in this country...with someone who is of the opinion that: Anyone who is struggling financially in this country is just plain lazy. There are more than 50 million people in this country who are considered poor. Fifty Million! They're all just plain lazy? Let's consider what has gone up in cost this country...steadily over the past thirty years: The price of food. The price of housing. College costs. Medical costs. Transportation costs. In some cases, the cost of certain things has increased dramatically . Want to better yourself and head off to college? Pay $600 for a book. Yet...to be fair...let's consider what has remained stagnant: Wages. Yet what really got to me as I discussed these items with a guy who is a friend was that I was simply unable to understand how he can: 1). Be against raising wages for a guy who is doing menial labor... and 2). Be for absurd wages for CEO

My niece's daughter was unstoppable at a party this past weekend. I'm thinking that Avery is just about one year-old, little more, little less, because she was crawling around...but crawling quickly. (By the way...I have no idea how old any kid is...ever. I often ask my own kids what grades they're in). But we laughed a little as Avery moved through the grass on her way to the Bocce ball court. Her dad put her down and she smiled and began moving. Minutes later she was getting near the court. As relentless as the rain. "Put her in the woods," I said. "Just trying to get five minutes of peace," he said. And my mind played tricks on me back to those days. "Can you change his diaper?" Kathy would ask. I hated that particular direction. Widely known fact is that I'm not great with tasks that involve my brain telling my hands which way to move. Some might even say that I'm clumsy. "He put the diaper on backwards on

There's so much to hold your interest these days, right? We have a Donald sighting each and every day. He says whatever he wants, offends women, entire races of people, even Heidi Klum (who is no longer a 10), backtracks, double-speaks, refuses to apologize... ...and becomes more popular by the minute. On the other side Hillary tries to make the email thing not stink but can't seem to answer it to anyone's satisfaction. The good news is that we only have another 14 months to hear from the gathering of people who want to be the next president!! Who believes that that might just become a tad unbearable? Back to Donald for a moment... "Heidi Klum is no longer a 10?" Is he running for president of the 7th grade ? I think we worked on ranking the girls in our 7th grade class...it even felt sleazy when we did it back then. Anywhoha... Marcel Dareus...my favorite Buffalo Bill...see: driving into a restaurant, drug charge, showing up late...is fee

Isn't that lovely? That's my rental car from my trip to Boston. The driver's side mirror is smashed. I found it that way when I woke up on Tuesday morning. The car was parked where I'd left it, in the lot, after my trip to Fenway. The note under the windshield wipers said, in block letters: SO SORRY! There were about four or five figures under that...which were recognizable to me as letters in either Chinese or Japanese. I don't read Chinese or Japanese. Yet I took the note to the clerk at the car rental place. She was not capable of reading Chinese or Japanese either. This is what she said: "The good news is that it won't cost you much." Isn't that lovely? "Why would the guy write the note?" I asked. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?" The clerk just smiled. "I kind of enjoyed it," she said. Isn't that lovely?

Here's a secret: In 1986 I rooted for the Boston Red Sux to win the World Series. Yeah...I hated Carter, Hernandez, Strawberry and Gooden that much. Being a Yankees fan, I didn't want to see the Mess win the Series. But I didn't cry when the Red Sux lost in heartbreaking fashion. I actually thought it was funny. I finally visited Fenway to see a game. I had seen Springsteen there...but deep in my heart as a baseball fan I needed to take in a major league game. That's the Pesky pole there. I thought of Ted Williams playing there...not to mention Babe Ruth. I thought of the Yankees beating them in the Bucky F&c*ing Dent Game. All great stuff. But... ...sorry to say... The place looks better than it is. First off, Cleveland - who is a bad team - pummeled the home team. Secondly, there are goofy-talking people all wearing Sawx gear. Thirdly, when you sit in your seat and face forward... ...you aren't looking at the freaking game!

So, big fat Jared is going to plead guilty... ...to child pornography charges. What a despicable thing to plead guilty too. D.B. of the Week is too good for him. Jared disgusts me. And here's the thing: I always thought he was something of a D.B. Maybe some of that has to do with the fact that I think Subway sucks... ...but that's a personal choice. Their bread sucks. Their cookies suck. The fact that the measure their plastic meat so you don't get an extra piece, sucks. The whole three station thing, sucks. Yuck. Give me Blimpie's Give me John & Mary's. But I wonder... ...Will the Jared situation cause the whole disgusting cookie to crumble? I suppose that it certainly isn't the fault of the company. How could they know that the spokesman that they had for years and years is a disgusting slob? But the problem that Subway has now is that every single person knows that the guy who hawked their sandwiches is guilty of

I must admit that I'm a little surprised by the Yankees this year. I certainly told everyone I knew that they could be good this year, but I'm not quite sure I believed it. They're old in some areas and young in other areas. They needed Tex and Beltran and A-Rod all to be good. They have been. So, the year is kind of a bonus, right? Except now that they are this far into the season and still in first, I'm beginning to get stressed about it. And it's funny, but sports has become a thing that people stress about in their real lives. When the Yanks were in the bottom of the 9th against the Blue Jays on Friday night...with the winning runs on base...the count full...the batter fouling off pitch after pitch after pitch, I texted a buddy. "I don't need this much stress." "You ain't on the payroll," he texted back. And it's true...nothing you can do about any of it...just watch...and try to enjoy it. Cut to two days

There's a debate going on here in New York State about whether or not the bars should close at 2 a.m. or 4 a.m. Back about 20 years ago I might have been interested in such a debate. Not so much anymore. In fact, I can't even fathom staying up until either 2 or 4. There are nights when I've already gotten out of bed twice to pee by 4 o'clock. Yet I'm sure that there are people out there who still actually do care about those extra two hours. Is it possible that a bar can make a lot of money in those 120 minutes? Aren't people already pissed to the gills by then? I wonder if they could research how many people found their one true love in those two hours. I'm thinking that the next time it happens will be the first. "What were you doing until 4 o'clock in the morning?" Mom would ask us if she ever found out that we were out so late. "Playing darts. Falling down. Those kinds of things." I'm not quite sure how muc

The story goes something like this: The quarterback and the linebacker were once friends. They were close enough friends that the linebacker invited the quarterback to an outing and went so far as to buy a plane ticket for the QB. Except the QB didn't show up...so the LB wanted his $600 back. The QB wouldn't give it back and dared the LB to do something about it. Allegedly the LB broke the QB's jaw with one punch. Sounds pretty stupid, right? As per usual we kicked the story around here at Camp Clifford. Half the family thought it was the QB's fault. I was on his side: "You can't punch someone in the face when you're mad," I said. And of course, like most things, I'm right, but there are moments... ...right? "Your Dad got into fights on the construction site," my wife reminded me. "And your brothers might punch someone." I digested that. Certainly true. "Just cause you're a big wussy,&quo

The summer goes by really quickly because it seems as if there's a party or two every week. We had people by for Jake's graduation who were heading off early to their third party of the day. It brings to mind what my college roommate from Greece once told me: "You Americans have too many parties," he said. "It's kinda' stupid." "Shut up and drink your beer," I responded. By the time that semester wore down he and I weren't the best of friends. Our love for a party and his wanting to study (nerd) clashed a bit. Oh well...hope he's doing good back in Greece. Anywhoha... My role at the party has certainly shifted these days. The kids were gathering to shoot hoops...they asked me to join them. "Can you see I can't stand up straight?" I asked. "You don't look any different to me," one smart-ass kid said and then he proceeded to run at my rim and dunk the ball, shaking the rim and backboar

Had a dream last week and the presence of some people in it made me realize that I'd been dreaming about ' younger Clifford ' - the guy who was about 18 years old. When I woke from the dream I recalled little bits and pieces of the people from the dream and realized... ...man... ... I was a little dope. But cut to Friday evening. My beautiful wife was the only one home with me and we spent the evening watching the Yankees. The boys were at the Bills pre-season game (which is a little like watching gym class) but we had no mind to take advantage of their being gone. 18 was a long time ago...we were tired from the work week. Jake, who is 18, had enough good sense to leave the game around halftime and he joined us for the conclusion of the Yankee game. He showed us clips on his phone featuring a flashy NBA Player. We got to talking about great moments in sports. I mentioned Canseco hitting the Hard Rock restaurant at the Sky Dome. He mentioned Jerry We

It seems that every single year we hear something about a mother who is being scorned for breast-feeding in public. I know that it's done for some reason...evidently there is a breast-feeding awareness month. Why do we need that? Aren't we all sort of aware that it is possible to breast-feed? Anywhoha... What do you make of that photo? That's a mother breast-feeding her kid...and the neighbor kid, evidently. A tad weird, if you ask me. And I'm just thinking of the future. What if these two remain friends through the years? Can you imagine the conversation at the age of 15? Tommy: Do you wanna' come over to my house? Billy: Is your Mom gonna' be there? Tommy: Don't start that shit. Billy: Remember when she breast-fed me? You think she'd be up to do that again. Tommy: Not funny, dude. No matter. We are now going to have people debating the issue and I guess that's good for the raise the awareness thing, right? I act

Patrick Kane is a true celebrity here in Buffalo. He's won the Stanley Cup a couple of times as a member of the Chicago Blackhawks. He's young and talented at flipping rubber in a net while skating on ice, and is therefore...in this muddled up society...rewarded riches beyond belief. He lives in a huge house on the lake about five miles from where I'm typing this. He parades the cup around town when he gets his turn with it. Or he's supposed to. This time he didn't get a chance to show people the cup here in Buffalo because... ... he was too busy getting D.B. of the Week honors. Kane, you see, is under investigation for perhaps, allegedly, sexually assaulting a woman in that big house. You know what bugs me the most about the story? He didn't do it, My sons all said in unison. And perhaps he didn't. But you know why they think he didn't do it? Because he's talented at flipping rubber into a net while skating on ice. It'

During the softball tournament my team The Lions put on a hitting clinic. One guy after another hit a line drive and we hammered the younger, more athletic team that we were playing. My sons were livid with how it all played out. "Obviously it's a game that is played better by big, slow people," Matt said. That's good for a laugh. "It's about experience," I told them. For years and years we had played the game, and the mind is a funny thing. The muscle memory experience of having done something over and over and over is always going to beat the guy that's inexperienced at it. The more you do something the better you get. We've all heard that through the years. It's certainly true. For full disclosure here the opening of the game went like this: My brother John led it all off with a first pitch home run. First pitch. He hammered it over the left-fielders head. So. I strolled to the bat hoping that I could hit it

We are watching the series House on Netflix. I had watched the show plenty when it was on regular television, but had certainly missed the in order aspect to it and since it's always interesting, and usually funny, we decided to give it a go in the moments when there is nothing else to watch. "Does he remind you of anyone?" My beautiful wife asked me at one point, definitely referring to my inability to give a straight answer, and perhaps my occasional crankiness. "Me?" I asked innocently enough. "Yeah. He can be a real a*&h#$e." Well, isn't that lovely? Yet House can also read people and a lot of the times...he pretends not to care for them...but we know he does. "People lie," he is fond of saying. I thought of that with the new flap concerning Donald Trump. "I love Donald! He tells it like it is!" Scream his supporters. But think of Gregory House here. People lie. The tweet he sent out about Meg

It's a funny thing about this life, you know? Most of the time you walk around not truly knowing how it's all going. You don't quite get to gauge the amount of love that you have in your own life and there are days when our mind tricks us into thinking that we're all alone. The Fazzolari family is blessed with a reminder...each year...through the hard work of some truly great friends. Lifelong friends. And a family that doesn't quit. We gather in Jeff's name... ...knowing that he would have loved the hell out of the party because everyone there is having a great time. One of the coolest parts of the day is that we get to play together again. Our softball team was really good back in the mid-90's. We can still hit the ball now too! We just can't, for the most part, run. So the kids help us there. But the strange thing about the day is that I'm on the field with guys I've known for 40 years, in most cases, and we still

Well look at that... Me and Pops finished 1 and 2. I'm telling you all...it's not an easy task. There are so many great peppers entered and it's all great eating, but the funny thing about finishing second, for me, was that it was tough to get my entry in. Pops and I and Mikey had spent part of Friday evening coring and stuffing about 500 peppers for the softball tourney. (Thank you to Bowman Farms! - Best veggies in the land!) "What're you making?" Pops asked as we started the process. "I have a bit of an idea," I said. "I don't," he answered. Then the bastard turns up at the party with the best pepper, by far. (I say that he barely nudged me out...but he's not buying it). (You want the winning recipe? - Ask Him.) Me? I stuffed mine with shrimp scampi. It was the first time I actually followed a recipe and when I ate the extra two I made, I thought: "Damn. Those are good." But, the entries

So, Jennifer Aniston tied the knot. Here's hoping that she doesn't get left in the dust again when a new hottie comes along. Again, though...weird thing when a celeb gets married...like she's off the market and my chance is done. Oh well...at least we had one good night. (Way before I met my beautiful wife). We have a big family weekend coming up this weekend. First, the pepper party. I have an inkling of an idea, but it's going to be an uphill battle, I'm afraid. There are way too many good chefs in the family. I'll let you know. The one thing that is absolutely certain is that I'm going to eat about 40 stuffed peppers this weekend. There goes the waist line. Yet... I may also be able to run a little of it off at the softball tournament, right? Maybe not...the legs aren't feeling exceptionally well right now. I will most likely be using the kids to run for me. Lord knows that I can hit though! But here's the thing: I

Did you see Kelly Osbourne stuff her entire foot in her mouth as she tried to hammer The Donald for his stance on Mexicans? She said something like: "If Mexicans can't cross the border then who is going to clean your toilets?" Uh, yeah. Her logic kinda' went off the rails there. However... ...she is not alone. Have you ever put your foot in your mouth in embarrassing fashion? I bet I beat you. I had an epic disaster of foot in mouth disease and you probably could have guessed such a thing because I'm a classic big mouth. Yet this one particular one was a doozy and since it was really embarrassing I figured I'd further my embarrassment by sharing it again! At least it was 20 years ago. I was working in a family-owned business. Work was really quite busy and as the young guy I was very often moved from one management seat to another. The owner wanted me to learn the entire business so there were days when I would work as a manager of a f

There was a black comedian, the late, great Patrice O'Neal, who made the following observation: "I've never met a racist." And why that is such an astute statement is because no man will ever admit to the fact that they discriminate against another man because of the color of their skin. "I'm not a racist!" Is the rallying cry of every single racist in the land. I may be a tad naive when it comes to racism. I tell you, I was really skeptical regarding some of the claims made by some of the men who were bullied by the cops in incidents across this country. The Sandy Bland situation changed my way of thinking on it a little bit. What we know for sure: Bland was heading to a job interview in Texas. She was stopped in a routine traffic stop for making an illegal lane change. Bland was yanked out of the car and forced to the ground and multiple officers used excessive force to subdue her. This wasn't a 300-pound man, folks. She was

Went to a memorial mass on Sunday for my Dad and my Uncle Jim. I was seated next to my Aunt and when it was time to give the sign of peace I gave her a kiss on the cheek and in a tribute to both Dad and Uncle Jim I said: "Peace On You!" It struck my Aunt funny because she had not heard that in a few years and as she turned to my Mom for the sign of peace...she was in a pretty good giggle. After the mass we talked about some of the rather unique things Dad had to say about God, church and the Bible stories. "God worked a lot of miracles," Dad once said, "But the one that gets me is when Moses tied his ass to a tree and walked ten miles." Dad swore that was a Bible story. Yet Mom and Dad certainly introduced us to the church. I still go as often as I can...but the one thing that I've learned in later years is to rid myself of the guilt. The nuns had scared the crap out of us for a lot of years. I still feel guilty...and I don't do a

I hate this time of year for sports. Because right now ESPN is all in on showing us who is practicing where when it comes to football. Seriously. Practice. Who reads this crap? E.J. Manuel overthrew his receiver down the sideline. That was the lead story here in Buffalo on the day the baseball trade deadline was in full swing. And I guess I get it. People are football-crazed despite the fact that it's a horrifically flawed game played by degenerates who are going to be muttering to themselves in a few years, but practice! Troy Tulowitski was traded from the Rockies to the Blue Jays. Tulo is the best shortstop in the sport. I all but ran down the stairs to get the update and you know what I got? Johnny Manziel says that he wants to be the number one quarterback of the Browns. You will note that I am no longer commenting much on the arrests of NFL players. It bores me to tears. But you know what else bores me? The Green Bay Packers still believe they can

Went to a wake in my hometown this past week. The thing about meeting at that particular funeral home is that when I arrive I only have one thought in my head: How quickly can I get out of here? And the thing about being from a small town where my family is well-known because none of us can ever be confused for being introverted or shy is that it's tough to just navigate my way through the people gathered. "Which Fuzzy are you?" I usually get from my Mom's and Dad's friends. "Just say 'Fuzzy'," I say, "We all answer to it." And it's a lot sad. Because I only see some of those people at the funeral home these days. This particular wake was even more strange because the family involved lived in the house across the road from my parents home. I knew everyone in the family from birth, basically. And I looked across the room and saw them greeting the people from town. All grey...and wearing glasses...and wearing the y

What's up with these famous dopes? It's being reported that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are having troubles and that Jen is suspicious of the nanny...who was giving Ben some loving looks when they were all together with the kids in the Bermudas as the couple contemplated their famous divorce. Remember when Arnold stooped the maid and got tossed out by Maria? Now. I think it's really funny because my beautiful wife has always fancied Ben Affleck as a handsome guy. (He's no Cliff Fazzolari, obviously). Yet. I don't like Ben Affleck. 1). He's a fanatic of the Boston Suck Sux. In fact, he's gone ape-shit a time or two telling people how much he hates the 27-Time World Champion Greatest Franchise in the History of Organized American Sports. (By the way...do you know how tough that is to type time after time after time?). Anywhoha... 2). Ben is also a horrible actor. He's always stiff. Matt Damon took him along for the ride and so