Foot In Mouth
Did you see Kelly Osbourne stuff her entire foot in her mouth as she tried to hammer The Donald for his stance on Mexicans?
She said something like:
"If Mexicans can't cross the border then who is going to clean your toilets?"
Uh, yeah.
Her logic kinda' went off the rails there.
However...
...she is not alone.
Have you ever put your foot in your mouth in embarrassing fashion?
I bet I beat you.
I had an epic disaster of foot in mouth disease and you probably could have guessed such a thing because I'm a classic big mouth.
Yet this one particular one was a doozy and since it was really embarrassing I figured I'd further my embarrassment by sharing it again!
At least it was 20 years ago.
I was working in a family-owned business. Work was really quite busy and as the young guy I was very often moved from one management seat to another. The owner wanted me to learn the entire business so there were days when I would work as a manager of a field office, or as a safety guy, or as a dispatcher, or in accounting or as a clerk of the works on the big projects.
It was never dull.
Well...my least favorite of all these gigs was as a dispatcher.
The phone never stopped ringing.
One idiot after another was on the line.
One problem after another.
People who could not organize their thoughts would call to see if we could help them organize them.
Anywhoha...
I was sitting in the chair for a very long stretch because the head dispatcher...a guy I really liked...was out sick. The days off stretched into a couple of weeks but one Friday afternoon he called me.
Here's the discussion, word for word:
Me: "Are you ever coming back to work?"
Him: "I'm hoping to be there Monday."
Me: "That's good. We thought you were gonna' croak."
Him: "I nearly did."
Me: "Well, I got a pool going and we sold squares on what was going to finally take you out."
Him (laughing): "If I were a betting man I'd go with liver."
Me: "Oh good! That's what I got!!"
We said our goodbyes and I really couldn't wait to see him on Monday.
He died on Sunday afternoon.
Liver failure.
As you might imagine, I was horrified to go to the wake, but since it was a phone call only between the two of us...
...maybe it would never surface....one of us was gone and I wasn't talking about it!
I walked up to the casket.
Me: "I'm Cliff, I worked with Bob (not the real name)."
Her: "I'm Bob's wife. Are you the guy who started the pool on what was going to kill him?"
People you don't understand how I felt at that particular moment.
I wanted to crawl in next to Bob.
His wife started laughing.
"You made his Saturday," she said. "He was telling everyone about that conversation. He thought you were so funny."
Yeah.
Hysterical.
Kelly Osbourne's comments were baby comments!
She said something like:
"If Mexicans can't cross the border then who is going to clean your toilets?"
Uh, yeah.
Her logic kinda' went off the rails there.
However...
...she is not alone.
Have you ever put your foot in your mouth in embarrassing fashion?
I bet I beat you.
I had an epic disaster of foot in mouth disease and you probably could have guessed such a thing because I'm a classic big mouth.
Yet this one particular one was a doozy and since it was really embarrassing I figured I'd further my embarrassment by sharing it again!
At least it was 20 years ago.
I was working in a family-owned business. Work was really quite busy and as the young guy I was very often moved from one management seat to another. The owner wanted me to learn the entire business so there were days when I would work as a manager of a field office, or as a safety guy, or as a dispatcher, or in accounting or as a clerk of the works on the big projects.
It was never dull.
Well...my least favorite of all these gigs was as a dispatcher.
The phone never stopped ringing.
One idiot after another was on the line.
One problem after another.
People who could not organize their thoughts would call to see if we could help them organize them.
Anywhoha...
I was sitting in the chair for a very long stretch because the head dispatcher...a guy I really liked...was out sick. The days off stretched into a couple of weeks but one Friday afternoon he called me.
Here's the discussion, word for word:
Me: "Are you ever coming back to work?"
Him: "I'm hoping to be there Monday."
Me: "That's good. We thought you were gonna' croak."
Him: "I nearly did."
Me: "Well, I got a pool going and we sold squares on what was going to finally take you out."
Him (laughing): "If I were a betting man I'd go with liver."
Me: "Oh good! That's what I got!!"
We said our goodbyes and I really couldn't wait to see him on Monday.
He died on Sunday afternoon.
Liver failure.
As you might imagine, I was horrified to go to the wake, but since it was a phone call only between the two of us...
...maybe it would never surface....one of us was gone and I wasn't talking about it!
I walked up to the casket.
Me: "I'm Cliff, I worked with Bob (not the real name)."
Her: "I'm Bob's wife. Are you the guy who started the pool on what was going to kill him?"
People you don't understand how I felt at that particular moment.
I wanted to crawl in next to Bob.
His wife started laughing.
"You made his Saturday," she said. "He was telling everyone about that conversation. He thought you were so funny."
Yeah.
Hysterical.
Kelly Osbourne's comments were baby comments!
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