Ping-Pong On My Ass

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It's weird when you think back on it.

This has been a nice week in Fazzolari land as Jeff's kids came up for a surprise visit. They are beautiful, happy children with the Fuzzy look and spirit and wide smiles.

The grace that they bring just blows through our lives and brings back a world full of wonderful memories. Rocco is always smiling. He reminds me so much of when Jeff was a child that I can't help but think that he has wonderful days of pure craziness ahead.

And they all look at us so lovingly. I know that my siblings feel it. Just so alive.

So wonderfully alive.

And I took to asking them about their school.

When someone mentioned the first grade I told the story of being beat with a ping-pong paddle by the nuns.

Isn't that awful?

That's what I remembered.

And beautiful Farrah is heading to the fourth grade.

"I was caught by a ring in the 4th grade," I said. "I was talking to Joe Mathis and his eyes got real big. I turned around just in time to catch an open-handed slap right under my left eye."

My sister was laughing because she remembered the story. My mother went ape-shit on that poor teacher.

Farrah was certain that I was just kidding. A teacher would never hit a student with a ping-pong paddle or open up a wound with a roundhouse slap.

I'm sort of glad we got away from such things.

Yet it begs the question.

What the hell were they thinking back then?

I can't imagine what might happen if one of my kids came home and said that they had to stand up in front of the class and get paddled.

Or that they had to take a bar of Dove soap in the mouth for saying a bad word.

Yeah...that happened to me...

"How'd it taste?" my mother had asked.

"Soapy," I said.

And I hadn't wanted to tell my mother!

She had heard it through the grapevine.

I'm not sure she was enamored with the nun who administered the punishment, but she didn't say much to me other than:

"Don't swear."

Well, f&*K that Sh&#. It ain't f&*@ing right. What did that little penguin a%%hole think she was doing by sticking soap in my mouth. What a little cross-eyed bi%ch that @^*kface was."

See.

I learned good.

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