Just Horrible

I watched the Dateline show regarding the murder of two young boys. Their deaths coming after their mother went missing, and their father was questioned for the disappearance. The boys died at the hand of their father...Joshua Powell.

I've seen a lot of shows like Dateline. I hardly ever miss that or 48 Hours Mystery. I don't know exactly why I'm drawn to it, but I am. It's sort of like peering in at the wreckage of a car crash.

Bad news draws us.

I remember reading a long time ago, someone said of murder: For all the bitching people do about stopping murder, the masses are awfully entertained by it.

I felt sick last night watching the leather-faced guy interview Powell about the wife's disappearance. There was small comfort in knowing that Powell is now gone, killing himself in the explosion that claimed his boys.

During the question and answer period I kept thinking that Powell's soul checked out missing. His eyes were vacant as he lied about where his wife had gone. He had a look in his eye that was Manson-like, and scary, in retrospect.

Still, they didn't take those kids from him. The cops couldn't pin the wife's murder on him and while he lost custody of them he was still alone to take them for visits...to his home...where he blew them to smithereens with an explosive.

Last year there was a kid from Buffalo who received some press for marching to D.C. in protest of murder. He had looked it all up...16,000 a year here in the United States, and he wanted to raise awareness to see if we can do something about it.

The march didn't get enough notice if you ask me.

In January the Buffalo papers were alive with the idea that the murder rates had dropped. I'm not naive enough to think we can make them all go away, but I do believe that there is a certain level of acceptance that comes with it, as if a life is disposable.

"It's just gang members killing other gang members, or worse, just blacks killing blacks."

A shrug of the shoulder and on to the next section of the paper.

Dateline and 48 Hours cover the more sensational of the murders. Black on black would be way too boring. They go for the husband killing the wives.

As the show played out last night Kathy popped her head into the room.

"You watching this?" I asked.

"Sickening," she said. "I can't believe he killed his kids."

Her statement hung in the air.

"I mean killing your spouse is almost understandable," she said. "But not the kids."

She left my room, and I rooted for the show to just end.

Too much to handle.

As I shut out the light what Kathy said re-entered my brain.

Killing your spouse is almost understandable?

I slept with one eye open.