Help!!!!

My biggest weakness may just be a total intolerance for talking on the phone with people I've never met who are asking me stupid questions, or not helping me quite as quickly as I might want them to.

I am banned from answering calls to the house because I have chastized and chided people who have tried to ask me simple questions about my political preferences or whether or not I wanted to try a different cable system.

(I used chided just for you, Kim).

Anyhow, my frustration is running very, very high in regard to this car accident. People are calling me, all day long, asking me questions that I do not want to answer.

"How do you feel?" the caring insurance agent asked.

She didn't understand when I gave my grandfather's standard response to the same question.

"With my hands," I said.

"No, how do you feel since the accident?"

"My neck, my back, my groin, my ass, and my knee hurt. How are you?" I responded.

She didn't know what to do with that much information.

"What doctor have you been seeing?"

"The tall, moderately good-looking black lady," I answered.

"Have you seen anyone else?"

"The short guy with the silver-rimmed glasses."

"Have you put in a claim?"

"I claimed the South of France for the United States of America but I don't think that worked."

So, you see how it's going.

Thankfully I am married to a wonderful, beautiful, understanding woman.

"Defer all calls to me," she said. "I'll take care of you like I take care of the kids."

That just might be the best course of action as this whole thing plays out.